Today was an interesting day. One of my friends had a baby who was much anticipated and eagerly awaited and one friend said goodbye to her twins that were born and died too soon. I empathize strongly with people so there was excited glee and running to tell Austin when I read about the birth and an embarrassing amount of crying at the memorial service in the afternoon.
On the way home, I got to thinking about how we as outsiders behave in both situations. When a birth or death is posted about on facebook, we like and comment. We bring food and offer help in those first few weeks where everything is so upside down. The offers taper off, though, and we leave the new parents/newly bereaved to adjust to their new world, expecting them to have it all figured out by the time the first monthly anniversary of the event has passed.
The thing is, they don't always have it figured out.
I've had both experiences in my life: birthing three children and losing my dad. And all the experiences were different.
After Dad died, we had a ton of offers from people we hadn't seen or heard from in years, people we typically see at baby and wedding showers and at weddings and funerals. I remember one man who I hadn't seen in I can't remember how long standing in Mom's kitchen with a bag of sausage McMuffins and just being almost overwhelmed to tears that he brought us breakfast. NO ONE thinks about breakfast. They always think about dinners and maybe some snacks. We got plants and donations to Dad's favorite charitable organizations. We got emails and cards and letters and text messages for weeks. We were allowed to grieve in our own time and in our own way.
Once I got home to Carrollton, though, I felt very alone. I've never been great at meeting and making friends and it was very apparent to me that I hadn't done that in Carrollton, even though we'd been living there for about 6 or 7 months by then. We'd been going to church in Arlington and I honestly don't remember a single person from there offering help or condolences once I got home. They did come to the service and sent things to my mom, don't think they're terrible people, but I felt alone and adrift once I was home and supposed to be "better" or something. I wasn't. It took a long time to be better.
With each of my babies, I was so disappointed by the lack of help my "community" offered us. We had a few people from our church and close friends bring food the first time. Two families brought food the second time and one person took Asher for an afternoon. And when Eden was born, the insanity of her diagnoses kind of changed what people might have done. One person outside of my family brought us something, a woman I met in MOPS and she was awesome and brought us dinner every week for three weeks.
Normally, people want to come and ooh and aah over the baby, they bring presents if there wasn't a shower for the baby, they want to help, they want to be there for the new mom, if there's an older sibling they want to give them some attention so they don't feel completely left out. But then after about two weeks or so, people look confused when mom is still at home adjusting.
Grief is exhausting. Not as much as a newborn, but still. Both situations leave you tired and raw and emotional and fumbling through a new reality. It's even harder when you feel like you have no support.
I'm so glad to read about my mommy friends who have a new baby and are just SHOWERED with help immediately after: so much food they can't even store it all, people loving on their older kids so they won't feel left out, an offer to sit with the baby so mom can shower or pee alone.
I'm relieved to hear that my friend who is grieving is being loved on by her friends and family. I can't imagine what she's going through and I hope I never have to experience it myself. But I'm so thankful she has such a strong community to surround her and lift her up.
Life is hard enough, y'all. We shouldn't have to go through the really tough times alone. We need to extend grace to each other in these situations and give each other time to adjust. We're here to take care of each other. That's the meaning of life.
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Friday, February 12, 2016
One Day More!
About an hour ago, Austin began the drive to Sweetwater like he has most weekday mornings for the past 5.5 years. FOR. THE. LAST. TIME!
We're excited.
A few weeks ago, a friend of Austin's who works at a company here in town, Milsoft, encouraged him to apply for a position that had opened. In true Austin form, he put it off for a while before applying. They called him in fairly quickly for an interview, including another open position in the interview process. The kids and I met up with Austin and his friend for lunch after to talk about how things went.
He knew immediately they weren't going to hire him for one of the positions and seemed a little discouraged they'd consider him for the other since the entire interview was about 15 minutes long. That rarely turns out well in my experience.
So we went about our weekend, shrugging our shoulders and saying "oh well, it would have been nice."
The next week (I want to say Wednesday?) they called and asked him to come in for another interview, so he took off Friday to stay in town and do that. He was a little late to his 2pm interview and later figured that probably hurt him. He proceeded to have a 2.5 interview process with several different people, one the husband of another friend of ours. He was asked point blank what kind of compensation he was asking for and he told them he'd like to make what he's making at Ludlums since simply losing that commute will give him a pay raise of around $2000. They said he'd hear from them by Monday.
Saturday, the next day, was the final session of Eden's lullaby photo shoot and she was, of course, adorable. We got a great three generations shot of me, Eden, and Mom and everyone went out for donuts after.
Monday afternoon, Austin got a call offering him a job! For 25% MORE than he asked! It wasn't even a position they had, they sort of created one for him that's almost exactly what he likes and wants to do. We couldn't believe our luck. They will pay for him to get an additional masters degree and he'll have some time at work to work on it. They eventually want him to become a Professional Engineer, which involves a really long test given only like twice a year (it's seriously like an 8-hour test). The compensation package of insurance and tuition reimbursement is on top of the salary, so the whole package is SO much more than what he was getting at Ludlums.
Let me tell you, that is a HUGE relief after a year full of anxiety over finances.
So today is his last day at Ludlums and Monday he starts at Milsoft. He'll be working IN TOWN. He won't have to drive 45 minutes to get to work, something he's done our entire marriage. He can come to stuff the kids have going on, like doctor's appointments and school programs. If I'm sick and he needs to get home to help out, he can very easily.
I'm not sure who's more excited about this, him or me.
In other news, Eden had her latest cardio appointment last Thursday and impressed everyone. Her oxygen levels were a little lower, upper 80's, but she'd been congested for a while so it wasn't unusual. Everything else looked great and she won't go back to see a cardiologist until June unless we feel like something's wrong. We're also doing her at home oxygen checks only twice a week now. AND she's been cleared for daycare so she can go to FKO! She's still not walking, though she's thinking REAL HARD about it. Sometimes.
Asher is doing great, too. He's reading over my shoulder and asking me to let everyone know we're going to the Grace Museum later today. He's doing great with his bowel issues and went an entire day with no accidents yesterday. Yay!
Elijah is also doing great. He was sick on Wednesday so had to miss the Valentine's Party at FKO yesterday, to his dismay. He cried when he had to stay in the car when we dropped off Asher and Eden but he recovered and came home to watch Little Einsteins and My Little Pony, which became one show called My Little Einsteins when he was telling Austin about it.
I'm happy my kids are doing well and Austin's got this fabulous new job. I've sold several of the freezer meals I made to the point that I'm thinking I'll have to cook some more. That's a problem I'm ok with. I'm happy to help families in my circle with ready to go dinners that are a little healthier than fast food or a mass produced frozen entree (I do use full fat everything, so they're not exactly healthy).
And now, some pictures!
We're excited.
A few weeks ago, a friend of Austin's who works at a company here in town, Milsoft, encouraged him to apply for a position that had opened. In true Austin form, he put it off for a while before applying. They called him in fairly quickly for an interview, including another open position in the interview process. The kids and I met up with Austin and his friend for lunch after to talk about how things went.
He knew immediately they weren't going to hire him for one of the positions and seemed a little discouraged they'd consider him for the other since the entire interview was about 15 minutes long. That rarely turns out well in my experience.
So we went about our weekend, shrugging our shoulders and saying "oh well, it would have been nice."
The next week (I want to say Wednesday?) they called and asked him to come in for another interview, so he took off Friday to stay in town and do that. He was a little late to his 2pm interview and later figured that probably hurt him. He proceeded to have a 2.5 interview process with several different people, one the husband of another friend of ours. He was asked point blank what kind of compensation he was asking for and he told them he'd like to make what he's making at Ludlums since simply losing that commute will give him a pay raise of around $2000. They said he'd hear from them by Monday.
Saturday, the next day, was the final session of Eden's lullaby photo shoot and she was, of course, adorable. We got a great three generations shot of me, Eden, and Mom and everyone went out for donuts after.
Monday afternoon, Austin got a call offering him a job! For 25% MORE than he asked! It wasn't even a position they had, they sort of created one for him that's almost exactly what he likes and wants to do. We couldn't believe our luck. They will pay for him to get an additional masters degree and he'll have some time at work to work on it. They eventually want him to become a Professional Engineer, which involves a really long test given only like twice a year (it's seriously like an 8-hour test). The compensation package of insurance and tuition reimbursement is on top of the salary, so the whole package is SO much more than what he was getting at Ludlums.
Let me tell you, that is a HUGE relief after a year full of anxiety over finances.
So today is his last day at Ludlums and Monday he starts at Milsoft. He'll be working IN TOWN. He won't have to drive 45 minutes to get to work, something he's done our entire marriage. He can come to stuff the kids have going on, like doctor's appointments and school programs. If I'm sick and he needs to get home to help out, he can very easily.
I'm not sure who's more excited about this, him or me.
In other news, Eden had her latest cardio appointment last Thursday and impressed everyone. Her oxygen levels were a little lower, upper 80's, but she'd been congested for a while so it wasn't unusual. Everything else looked great and she won't go back to see a cardiologist until June unless we feel like something's wrong. We're also doing her at home oxygen checks only twice a week now. AND she's been cleared for daycare so she can go to FKO! She's still not walking, though she's thinking REAL HARD about it. Sometimes.
Asher is doing great, too. He's reading over my shoulder and asking me to let everyone know we're going to the Grace Museum later today. He's doing great with his bowel issues and went an entire day with no accidents yesterday. Yay!
Elijah is also doing great. He was sick on Wednesday so had to miss the Valentine's Party at FKO yesterday, to his dismay. He cried when he had to stay in the car when we dropped off Asher and Eden but he recovered and came home to watch Little Einsteins and My Little Pony, which became one show called My Little Einsteins when he was telling Austin about it.
I'm happy my kids are doing well and Austin's got this fabulous new job. I've sold several of the freezer meals I made to the point that I'm thinking I'll have to cook some more. That's a problem I'm ok with. I'm happy to help families in my circle with ready to go dinners that are a little healthier than fast food or a mass produced frozen entree (I do use full fat everything, so they're not exactly healthy).
And now, some pictures!
When Austin's gone for some reason, we take pictures and videos and send them to him. This was Asher's picture, bragging about his pizza while Austin was at a wedding and eating gourmet food. I think Austin won on that one.
Baby girl getting comfy at MOPS on Monday.
The picture Eden and In took for Austin.
She's over the big poofy dresses that she can't crawl in and she's over Daddy being gone for three days.
We spent that weekend at Aunt Cari and Uncle Dennis's house and the boys made themselves at home.
Elijah's picture to Daddy, showing off his new-to-him pjs (I LOVE Kid-to-Kid).
Saturday, January 23, 2016
Birthday Girl!
It's Eden's birthday! We're all pretty excited. Birthdays aren't a huge deal around here, but they are noted.
I did something a little different with this post and we'll see how it works. I'm not entirely sure I've got it figure out, but here's a little video.
A couple things: the crinkling at the beginning is Mom trying to get a bulb syringe open. The first one was had was too stiff and we couldn't squeeze it so she as opening a second one to clear out Eden's nose and throat. We mention that it's about the same time I was born and that's interesting (to me anyway) because Eden's pregnancy and delivery were very similar to mine: We were both the first daughter after two sons (my sister is adopted), we were both born at home, we were both extended labors after short intense ones, we were born about the same time of day. She was supposed to have a room full of family and close friends welcoming her into the world like I did but she as too fast so no one made it into the room but Mom and Austin.
And here is our beautiful girl today, all decked out in her Wonder Woman tutu, onesie, and headband, because she is our Wonder Girl, our Amazon Princess. She's not terribly interested in smiling because she bumped her head a little while before this was taken.
Eden's Medical Fund
I did something a little different with this post and we'll see how it works. I'm not entirely sure I've got it figure out, but here's a little video.
A couple things: the crinkling at the beginning is Mom trying to get a bulb syringe open. The first one was had was too stiff and we couldn't squeeze it so she as opening a second one to clear out Eden's nose and throat. We mention that it's about the same time I was born and that's interesting (to me anyway) because Eden's pregnancy and delivery were very similar to mine: We were both the first daughter after two sons (my sister is adopted), we were both born at home, we were both extended labors after short intense ones, we were born about the same time of day. She was supposed to have a room full of family and close friends welcoming her into the world like I did but she as too fast so no one made it into the room but Mom and Austin.
And here is our beautiful girl today, all decked out in her Wonder Woman tutu, onesie, and headband, because she is our Wonder Girl, our Amazon Princess. She's not terribly interested in smiling because she bumped her head a little while before this was taken.
Eden's Medical Fund
Sunday, January 17, 2016
Mullins Update
I just finished up a week of bulk cooking and it was exhausting. I worked for about eight hours a day for three days and six hours the other two. I dealt with insane amounts of ingredients and washed my pots and bowls so much I kind of wished I had twice as many pots and a second stove. I almost went to my mom's house to borrow hers and next time I just might. lol
This time it's a little different than the last time. I was making food for other people. Who were PAYING me. That's awesome. The only issue with that was I used my two year old pricing information so undercharged them...but that's ok. lol Both overpaid me. :-)
The kids all felt the lack of attention for the week, which is a bit of a bummer for them. Asher and Elijah bounced between Netflix and trains and books and Minecraft and Eden spent a lot of time alternately in the pack-n-play set up in the kitchen so she could see me and in her bed napping. I listened to Anna Karenina, which is something like 34 hours long. We would have eaten out every night if I hadn't had freezer meals from the last time I did this. And they were the LAST freezer meals we had. I waited a bit longer than I usually do. lol
I didn't take any pictures but both refrigerator freezers and the standalone freezer are PACKED. I debated taking some stuff to my mom's but with a bit of repacking and shifting, I got it all in. And now that the orders of meals have been picked up, there's that much more space in my freezers. I just need to do an inventory now so I know what exactly I have. Or maybe we could not and just have a potluck every once in a while.
The kids are doing great. Asher just turned 5 and likes to remind us that "Well, now I'm 5 so..." or "I did that when I was 4." Because 4 was SO long ago. Incidentally, when he can't/doesn't want to do something, he'll say "I'm not 5, I'm only 4!" as if being 4 gets him out of having to be a contributing member of our family. On the flipside of that, we've told him that now that he's 5, he can do some simple chores and we'll pay him. So he gets excited about setting and clearing the table and running around and checking the playroom and their room to see if they need to be picked up.
Elijah is alternately angelic and devilish. He still has these crazy raging fits that just come out of nowhere but then ten seconds later he's the sweetest boy you've ever met. I just don't get it. I'm hoping it's the hole "half" thing I read about once that said kids kind of have a six month cycle where they're alternately problematic and angelic. He's been having a rough time the last couple of weeks. It's not like it was last year, and I really think it's just frustration with life in general and his frustration at his inability to communicate as well as he'd like. He also feels powerless a lot of the time because Asher is older and thus more in control...which is weird because frequently Elijah bests Asher in fights. I'm hoping this is a temporary thing and he'll grow out of it. He's just a kid and very much 3.
Eden is wonderful, as usual. She's growing and learning. Her most recent trick is standing up and she's not a huge fan of it. Well, standing's not so bad. It's sitting back down that's problematic. She's been on regular milk for most of the month of January and seems ok with it. We ran out of formula so one day I just put milk in with the little bit of breast milk she's still getting and handed her the bottle. She was hungry enough that she didn't even seem to notice and just gulped it all down in one go. Before, she was getting 24 calories per ounce and taking 24 ounces a day, so about 576 calories from bottles. Now she's taking 32 ounces a day that are about 20 calories an ounce, so around 640 calories from bottles, plus she'll eat a handful of cereal for breakfast and as much of our dinner food as we'll give her. And if I put her on the floor in the kitchen, she'll clean up whatever got dropped. She's got nice chunky thighs and a round little body...but still only the two teeth. It's amazing some of the stuff she eats with just two teeth.
Anyway, the kids are good, my freezer is full, the weather is thinking about warming up a little in the future, those are all things that make me happy. Check in next week for a special post about Eden on her birthday.
This time it's a little different than the last time. I was making food for other people. Who were PAYING me. That's awesome. The only issue with that was I used my two year old pricing information so undercharged them...but that's ok. lol Both overpaid me. :-)
The kids all felt the lack of attention for the week, which is a bit of a bummer for them. Asher and Elijah bounced between Netflix and trains and books and Minecraft and Eden spent a lot of time alternately in the pack-n-play set up in the kitchen so she could see me and in her bed napping. I listened to Anna Karenina, which is something like 34 hours long. We would have eaten out every night if I hadn't had freezer meals from the last time I did this. And they were the LAST freezer meals we had. I waited a bit longer than I usually do. lol
I didn't take any pictures but both refrigerator freezers and the standalone freezer are PACKED. I debated taking some stuff to my mom's but with a bit of repacking and shifting, I got it all in. And now that the orders of meals have been picked up, there's that much more space in my freezers. I just need to do an inventory now so I know what exactly I have. Or maybe we could not and just have a potluck every once in a while.
The kids are doing great. Asher just turned 5 and likes to remind us that "Well, now I'm 5 so..." or "I did that when I was 4." Because 4 was SO long ago. Incidentally, when he can't/doesn't want to do something, he'll say "I'm not 5, I'm only 4!" as if being 4 gets him out of having to be a contributing member of our family. On the flipside of that, we've told him that now that he's 5, he can do some simple chores and we'll pay him. So he gets excited about setting and clearing the table and running around and checking the playroom and their room to see if they need to be picked up.
Elijah is alternately angelic and devilish. He still has these crazy raging fits that just come out of nowhere but then ten seconds later he's the sweetest boy you've ever met. I just don't get it. I'm hoping it's the hole "half" thing I read about once that said kids kind of have a six month cycle where they're alternately problematic and angelic. He's been having a rough time the last couple of weeks. It's not like it was last year, and I really think it's just frustration with life in general and his frustration at his inability to communicate as well as he'd like. He also feels powerless a lot of the time because Asher is older and thus more in control...which is weird because frequently Elijah bests Asher in fights. I'm hoping this is a temporary thing and he'll grow out of it. He's just a kid and very much 3.
Eden is wonderful, as usual. She's growing and learning. Her most recent trick is standing up and she's not a huge fan of it. Well, standing's not so bad. It's sitting back down that's problematic. She's been on regular milk for most of the month of January and seems ok with it. We ran out of formula so one day I just put milk in with the little bit of breast milk she's still getting and handed her the bottle. She was hungry enough that she didn't even seem to notice and just gulped it all down in one go. Before, she was getting 24 calories per ounce and taking 24 ounces a day, so about 576 calories from bottles. Now she's taking 32 ounces a day that are about 20 calories an ounce, so around 640 calories from bottles, plus she'll eat a handful of cereal for breakfast and as much of our dinner food as we'll give her. And if I put her on the floor in the kitchen, she'll clean up whatever got dropped. She's got nice chunky thighs and a round little body...but still only the two teeth. It's amazing some of the stuff she eats with just two teeth.
Anyway, the kids are good, my freezer is full, the weather is thinking about warming up a little in the future, those are all things that make me happy. Check in next week for a special post about Eden on her birthday.
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Where's the bucket full of popcorn and half gallon of soda?
It should come as no surprise to anyone that knows me to read that I like movies. I have literally hundreds of movies on DVD and blu-ray. And then I rewatch some of them because they're my favorites.
Every October, I watch scary or suspenseful movies. The last couple years were devoted to Hitchcock because those aren't as traumatizing to small children who might wander in. Some years, though, I do a theme of ghost (Session 9, The Changeling, The Others, Poltergeist, etc) or gore (Evil Dead, Cabin in the Woods, 28 Days Later, etc). Sometimes it's suspense like Panic Room or Red Eye. Anything that gets the adrenaline pumping is awesome.
There's not a ton of Thanksgiving movies, but I do try to watch Planes, Trains, and Automobiles every couple of years. John Candy and Steve Martin road tripping against their will is always going to be funny. For a while, our family watched Flash Gordon every year and that. is. terrible. As Dad would say, it's so bad it's good. It's camp.
Jaws, of course, is great for the 4th of July. Or really anytime of year. It's Jaws. What's not to love? Though if Jaws isn't your speed, there's obviously Independence Day because if you don't like blowing up sharks, you might like blowing up invading aliens.
There are plenty of romantic movies, both dramas and comedies, to watch around Valentine's Day and war movies to watch around Memorial and Veteran's Day.
My favorite time of year, though, is December when it's time for Christmas movies.
Growing up, we didn't have a TV until I was 10. Mom and Dad had a TV-VCR combo at the office for educational purposes and over the Christmas break they'd bring it home and we'd binge watch movies before that was really a thing. We'd all go to Videoville and everyone got one movie then we'd go home and watch them all that night and go back the next day. I saw a few movies I probably shouldn't have at young ages, like Lethal Weapon and other similar movies. I remember very little about those films but it was always my favorite time of year. Piling everyone on the foldout sofa bed to watch movies and roast marshmallows in the fireplace was so much fun for a little kid. The older kids probably didn't like it at much, but who cares.
When I got out on my own, I started doing my own version of movies in December. I started out with stereotypical Christmas movies, like A Christmas Story and Christmas Vacation. (I'm really not a fan of It's a Wonderful Life or White Christmas so I don't watch them if I don't have to.) I added in While You Were Sleeping at some point because I really love that movie. It's not TECHNICALLY a Christmas movie, though, so that began a new twist to my tradition: the non-traditional Christmas movies.
It's been disputed recently in our household what exactly that means. We've come to a fairly simple explanation. A Non-Traditional Christmas Movie (NTCM from now on) takes place at or around Christmas for the whole movie. Christmas is a key part of the plot, but not the reason for it. You could take Christmas out of the movie and it would still make sense.
Examples where the movie wouldn't make sense if it weren't Christmas: How the Grinch Stole Christmas, any iteration of A Christmas Carol (though the writers could probably figure it out), Elf, The Santa Clause, Miracle on 34th Street, Polar Express, Christmas with the Kranks, etc. The list goes on and on. It's easy to find traditional Christmas movies. It's not easy to find traditional Christmas movies that don't have Santa and since we don't "do" Santa, that makes it tricky for us.
Movies that meet the NTCM requirements might surprise you. This is MY opinion, so if you disagree, that's fine. But think about it.
Home Alone: family could forget Kevin at ANY time of year (and seriously, they do it twice. I don't feel like such a terrible mom when I think about that). Terrible parenting and frantic traveling happen all the time. Granted, it's more frantic at Christmas and there's more motivation for the thieves, but still. Could happen any time.
Die Hard: He could have been going to LA just to see his family, or for his kid's birthday, or whatever. It didn't HAVE to be for Christmas. They could have been having a party to celebrate a big merger or something. Same for Die Hard 2: She could have been flying anytime. Again, Christmas makes it easier to explain crowded areas, but it could be rewritten to be anytime.
Trading Places: it takes place around the holidays but the only part that really matters for that is the reading of the orange crops at the end. I have no idea when that happens in real life or of there's something similar that could be substituted, but I'm betting yes.
Gremlins: It's been a while since I saw this, but when I did, I'd totally forgotten that it took place at Christmas.
Love Actually: Christmas definitely helps to tie all the threads together.
Silver Linings Playbook: I can't remember, but I want to say it's around Christmas? I feel like I remember Christmas lights. I haven't seen it since it came out.
A Nightmare at Christmas is kind of in a gray area as to whether it's traditional or not. It covers two holidays, but Christmas is an integral part of the plot.
Movies that I personally think DON'T count as Christmas movies, even though they have Christmas scenes:
Harry Potter
Bridget Jones
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
When Harry Met Sally
Raising Arizona
So every year, we make a pile of our favorite traditional and NT Christmas movies and watch them throughout the month. It's fun and comforting and I look forward to it every year. It's probably my favorite part of the month, second only to the excitement from the kids when they open their presents. The shopping and hiding and wrapping and the cooking and cleaning and transporting and keeping track of are stressful and tiring.
So what'd I miss? What are your favorite Traditional and NT Christmas movies? What movies do I need to add to my roster? Nearly everything I've mentioned I own, which shows you have extensive our collection is. If you don't watch a movie with Christmas in it, what do you watch? We also used to watch The Sound of Music at Thanksgiving, but it's soooo long. I like to keep it at or under 2 hours.
Every October, I watch scary or suspenseful movies. The last couple years were devoted to Hitchcock because those aren't as traumatizing to small children who might wander in. Some years, though, I do a theme of ghost (Session 9, The Changeling, The Others, Poltergeist, etc) or gore (Evil Dead, Cabin in the Woods, 28 Days Later, etc). Sometimes it's suspense like Panic Room or Red Eye. Anything that gets the adrenaline pumping is awesome.
There's not a ton of Thanksgiving movies, but I do try to watch Planes, Trains, and Automobiles every couple of years. John Candy and Steve Martin road tripping against their will is always going to be funny. For a while, our family watched Flash Gordon every year and that. is. terrible. As Dad would say, it's so bad it's good. It's camp.
Jaws, of course, is great for the 4th of July. Or really anytime of year. It's Jaws. What's not to love? Though if Jaws isn't your speed, there's obviously Independence Day because if you don't like blowing up sharks, you might like blowing up invading aliens.
There are plenty of romantic movies, both dramas and comedies, to watch around Valentine's Day and war movies to watch around Memorial and Veteran's Day.
My favorite time of year, though, is December when it's time for Christmas movies.
Growing up, we didn't have a TV until I was 10. Mom and Dad had a TV-VCR combo at the office for educational purposes and over the Christmas break they'd bring it home and we'd binge watch movies before that was really a thing. We'd all go to Videoville and everyone got one movie then we'd go home and watch them all that night and go back the next day. I saw a few movies I probably shouldn't have at young ages, like Lethal Weapon and other similar movies. I remember very little about those films but it was always my favorite time of year. Piling everyone on the foldout sofa bed to watch movies and roast marshmallows in the fireplace was so much fun for a little kid. The older kids probably didn't like it at much, but who cares.
When I got out on my own, I started doing my own version of movies in December. I started out with stereotypical Christmas movies, like A Christmas Story and Christmas Vacation. (I'm really not a fan of It's a Wonderful Life or White Christmas so I don't watch them if I don't have to.) I added in While You Were Sleeping at some point because I really love that movie. It's not TECHNICALLY a Christmas movie, though, so that began a new twist to my tradition: the non-traditional Christmas movies.
It's been disputed recently in our household what exactly that means. We've come to a fairly simple explanation. A Non-Traditional Christmas Movie (NTCM from now on) takes place at or around Christmas for the whole movie. Christmas is a key part of the plot, but not the reason for it. You could take Christmas out of the movie and it would still make sense.
Examples where the movie wouldn't make sense if it weren't Christmas: How the Grinch Stole Christmas, any iteration of A Christmas Carol (though the writers could probably figure it out), Elf, The Santa Clause, Miracle on 34th Street, Polar Express, Christmas with the Kranks, etc. The list goes on and on. It's easy to find traditional Christmas movies. It's not easy to find traditional Christmas movies that don't have Santa and since we don't "do" Santa, that makes it tricky for us.
Movies that meet the NTCM requirements might surprise you. This is MY opinion, so if you disagree, that's fine. But think about it.
Home Alone: family could forget Kevin at ANY time of year (and seriously, they do it twice. I don't feel like such a terrible mom when I think about that). Terrible parenting and frantic traveling happen all the time. Granted, it's more frantic at Christmas and there's more motivation for the thieves, but still. Could happen any time.
Die Hard: He could have been going to LA just to see his family, or for his kid's birthday, or whatever. It didn't HAVE to be for Christmas. They could have been having a party to celebrate a big merger or something. Same for Die Hard 2: She could have been flying anytime. Again, Christmas makes it easier to explain crowded areas, but it could be rewritten to be anytime.
Trading Places: it takes place around the holidays but the only part that really matters for that is the reading of the orange crops at the end. I have no idea when that happens in real life or of there's something similar that could be substituted, but I'm betting yes.
Gremlins: It's been a while since I saw this, but when I did, I'd totally forgotten that it took place at Christmas.
Love Actually: Christmas definitely helps to tie all the threads together.
Silver Linings Playbook: I can't remember, but I want to say it's around Christmas? I feel like I remember Christmas lights. I haven't seen it since it came out.
A Nightmare at Christmas is kind of in a gray area as to whether it's traditional or not. It covers two holidays, but Christmas is an integral part of the plot.
Movies that I personally think DON'T count as Christmas movies, even though they have Christmas scenes:
Harry Potter
Bridget Jones
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
When Harry Met Sally
Raising Arizona
So every year, we make a pile of our favorite traditional and NT Christmas movies and watch them throughout the month. It's fun and comforting and I look forward to it every year. It's probably my favorite part of the month, second only to the excitement from the kids when they open their presents. The shopping and hiding and wrapping and the cooking and cleaning and transporting and keeping track of are stressful and tiring.
So what'd I miss? What are your favorite Traditional and NT Christmas movies? What movies do I need to add to my roster? Nearly everything I've mentioned I own, which shows you have extensive our collection is. If you don't watch a movie with Christmas in it, what do you watch? We also used to watch The Sound of Music at Thanksgiving, but it's soooo long. I like to keep it at or under 2 hours.
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Two out of four doctors agree, and that's good enough for me.
We had a cardio appointment today an I know you're all DYING to know what happened, so I won't beat around the bush.
The decision has been not to do surgery.
Yes, I realize we were told this back in August and then were thrown into limbo in September as we waited to hear from everyone and then in November were told "probably soon." It's been a roller coaster of emotion for me, too. Getting myself emotionally and mentally prepared to take my baby daughter half way across the country so a doctor I've never met can cut open her chest is not easy. And I've done it twice this year.
Dr. S heard from the doctor at Stanford, Dr. H, and he said he wouldn't touch Eden. Her sats are great, she's growing well, she shows no symptoms of any negative sort. According to Dr. S, Stanford is the hospital that does this heart the best, so she's giving his opinion a little more weight than the others. Dr. F in Dallas doesn't feel that her VSD (hole in the bottom) is big enough to properly do the double switch operation, so were he to repair her heart, it would involve a pacemaker, which would increase the likelihood of a heart transplant later in life and would almost definitely lead to heart block. As great as heart transplants are for people who need them, I really don't want Eden to be one of those people. Dr. B at Columbia thinks the VSD IS big enough and says he could do the surgery without heart block becoming an issue later on. Dr. S agrees that the VSD isn't big enough, so she was glad to hear that Dr. H agreed with her assessment.
As you can see, this kind of heart if controversial. Dr. S said you could show the same heart to three cardiologists and three cardio-thoracic surgeons and get 6 different opinions. Which is not terribly helpful to the worried parents.
Dr. S was brutally honest and said that she has not seen a lot of good long term outcomes from doing surgery to repair hearts like this on babies. They generally do much better when they're older, so obviously I want to wait even more now. Like, maybe 50 or 60 years. If we ever do it.
So yes, more wait and see. Wait and see if she gets bluer, wait and see if she continues to grow and hit her developmental milestones in an appropriate time frame, wait and see if she starts to get tired more easily and more quickly. All those will be signs that the right side of her heart is struggling and weakening and that will be the go ahead for the doctors to once again evaluate updated scans and tests and determine the best course of action.
Unfortunately, we have no idea when or if this would happen. Some people live their whole lives with no real problems, some start experiencing issues in their 40's, some in their 20's, some sooner. We will have to watch her her whole life. I really hope she's up for the constant scrutiny.
We'll see Dr. S again a couple of weeks after Eden's first birthday and then not again until June. We'll go to an every four month schedule instead of a monthly schedule and will go to Dallas for a sedated Echo once a year.
As for Eden's ptosis, we were thinking she'd have surgery before her June 2016 appointment. If and when we do something about that, Dr. S wants us to go to Children's for it. Currently, she's doing fine. Her vision seems to be just fine but if it gets to the point that it needs correcting surgically, they don't want surgeons in Abilene to touch her. We may go ahead and get a referral to a pediatric ophthalmologist at Children's and have them look at her next year, but we may not. I'm really hoping it's simply a cosmetic thing that she can live with for a long time.
This, I'm choosing to believe, is great news. I'm happy with it. I do see the side of "let's do surgery before she really starts to NEED it," but at the same time, I really don't want my daughter's chest to be cut open. Like, I can't even begin to describe how much I don't want that.
So Merry Christmas to everyone! It'll definitely be a happy one around here without this awful thing hanging over our heads. And she's such a happy girl, it's hard to be in a bad mood around her. She has the best smiles.
The decision has been not to do surgery.
Yes, I realize we were told this back in August and then were thrown into limbo in September as we waited to hear from everyone and then in November were told "probably soon." It's been a roller coaster of emotion for me, too. Getting myself emotionally and mentally prepared to take my baby daughter half way across the country so a doctor I've never met can cut open her chest is not easy. And I've done it twice this year.
Dr. S heard from the doctor at Stanford, Dr. H, and he said he wouldn't touch Eden. Her sats are great, she's growing well, she shows no symptoms of any negative sort. According to Dr. S, Stanford is the hospital that does this heart the best, so she's giving his opinion a little more weight than the others. Dr. F in Dallas doesn't feel that her VSD (hole in the bottom) is big enough to properly do the double switch operation, so were he to repair her heart, it would involve a pacemaker, which would increase the likelihood of a heart transplant later in life and would almost definitely lead to heart block. As great as heart transplants are for people who need them, I really don't want Eden to be one of those people. Dr. B at Columbia thinks the VSD IS big enough and says he could do the surgery without heart block becoming an issue later on. Dr. S agrees that the VSD isn't big enough, so she was glad to hear that Dr. H agreed with her assessment.
As you can see, this kind of heart if controversial. Dr. S said you could show the same heart to three cardiologists and three cardio-thoracic surgeons and get 6 different opinions. Which is not terribly helpful to the worried parents.
Dr. S was brutally honest and said that she has not seen a lot of good long term outcomes from doing surgery to repair hearts like this on babies. They generally do much better when they're older, so obviously I want to wait even more now. Like, maybe 50 or 60 years. If we ever do it.
So yes, more wait and see. Wait and see if she gets bluer, wait and see if she continues to grow and hit her developmental milestones in an appropriate time frame, wait and see if she starts to get tired more easily and more quickly. All those will be signs that the right side of her heart is struggling and weakening and that will be the go ahead for the doctors to once again evaluate updated scans and tests and determine the best course of action.
Unfortunately, we have no idea when or if this would happen. Some people live their whole lives with no real problems, some start experiencing issues in their 40's, some in their 20's, some sooner. We will have to watch her her whole life. I really hope she's up for the constant scrutiny.
We'll see Dr. S again a couple of weeks after Eden's first birthday and then not again until June. We'll go to an every four month schedule instead of a monthly schedule and will go to Dallas for a sedated Echo once a year.
As for Eden's ptosis, we were thinking she'd have surgery before her June 2016 appointment. If and when we do something about that, Dr. S wants us to go to Children's for it. Currently, she's doing fine. Her vision seems to be just fine but if it gets to the point that it needs correcting surgically, they don't want surgeons in Abilene to touch her. We may go ahead and get a referral to a pediatric ophthalmologist at Children's and have them look at her next year, but we may not. I'm really hoping it's simply a cosmetic thing that she can live with for a long time.
This, I'm choosing to believe, is great news. I'm happy with it. I do see the side of "let's do surgery before she really starts to NEED it," but at the same time, I really don't want my daughter's chest to be cut open. Like, I can't even begin to describe how much I don't want that.
So Merry Christmas to everyone! It'll definitely be a happy one around here without this awful thing hanging over our heads. And she's such a happy girl, it's hard to be in a bad mood around her. She has the best smiles.
Waiting for the Christmas program at church.
Smiling at Mommy
Saturday, December 5, 2015
Time is passing me by and I've lost my watch
You guys. I'm 32 now. Thirty-two! How did that happen? And when? The line "I don't remember getting older" has been running through my head recently. It seriously feels like just a little while ago that I was in college and that was over ten years. Ten. Years.
Aging is such a strange thing. I think our minds kind of quit aging really around our teens. That's why it's so hard for us to realize how old we are sometimes. That's why time slips by so quickly. I don't feel that different emotionally and mentally now than when I was 16 or 17. More confident and self assured, definitely. More knowledgeable about a great many different things for sure. But older? Good lord no. It doesn't feel like 16 was 16 years ago. I've been driving for over half my life. I've been out of mandatory school for 14.5 years. I've been married for 7.5 years. I have THREE CHILDREN (who decided THAT was a smart move? Me taking care of three kids seems like a bad idea.) I've got a son who is almost 5 and I've been in this current house for over 5 years, the longest I've lived anywhere since moving out of my parents house to go to college. When I sit down to add all the numbers up, I get to 32 years old and it still doesn't make sense.
It's like trying to balance a check book: the numbers are all there and (hopefully) add up evenly, but sometimes it still doesn't make sense. Did I fall asleep and miss something? Did I hit a time warp at some point? Maybe that was it. Time warp makes as much sense as anything else. That or I'm secretly Rip van Winkle.
And then at other times, yes, I am ABSOLUTELY 32. The idea of going out to clubs or bars or taking wild vacations or drinking all night (you know, stereotypical 20-something behavior) sounds exhausting. I'd much rather sit at home and cross-stitch and watch Netflix or Hulu or watch a dvd or listen to an audio book. (Maybe I'm actually OLDER than 32, based on my favorite activities. I'm ready to sign up for AARP! Cripes.) Chasing my children around a park or playground is tiring. Taking a big trip SOUNDS fun, but actually doing it is so not fun. We recently went on our annual New Braunfels trip and it was a lot. Packing for three kids and myself away for four days and planning on cooking while we're there....well, I filled my car and Austin's with our gear. And we used every bit of it. We played the games, spread the toys across the floor, watched the dvds, ate the food, wore the clothes, changed the diapers, used the Go-Pod and the pack-n-play, mixed up the bottles, drank, then washed the bottles. The last 24 hours I was essentially on my own. Yes, family was around but it's still really me. And it was tiring.
I'm 32 now! I'm getting older! My hair is still thick and dark, but now the color is helped along. I've got shiny silver hairs taking over and pushing the dark ones aside. My skin is still fairly smooth, but it's starting to loosen and crease. My body is thicker than 16 years ago, and for good reason. It's been stretched and filled and emptied three times. I've been marked by my 32 years on this planet. I've been physically scarred, and torn. I've been formed by life and changed from who I was, like a lump of clay. And the clay has been painted and now the paint is starting slowly to fade and chip away, but the cracks could be beautiful, too, if I let them.
If I embrace my new 32 year old self, embrace the stretch marks and gray hairs and coming wrinkles (though my mom doesn't have many so fingers crossed), embrace the canvas and the paint, then I'll be setting a good example for my children AND making my life easier. Complaining about how I look isn't good for anyone. I'm soft for little heads to lay on and my hair is silver to shine in the darkness when they're scared and need Mommy.
It's been an eventful 32 years. Moves, deaths, marriages, births, work, play, sleep, sleeplessness, so much has happened. And so much is still to come.
But seriously. Thirty-two years. Time flies when you're having fun.
Aging is such a strange thing. I think our minds kind of quit aging really around our teens. That's why it's so hard for us to realize how old we are sometimes. That's why time slips by so quickly. I don't feel that different emotionally and mentally now than when I was 16 or 17. More confident and self assured, definitely. More knowledgeable about a great many different things for sure. But older? Good lord no. It doesn't feel like 16 was 16 years ago. I've been driving for over half my life. I've been out of mandatory school for 14.5 years. I've been married for 7.5 years. I have THREE CHILDREN (who decided THAT was a smart move? Me taking care of three kids seems like a bad idea.) I've got a son who is almost 5 and I've been in this current house for over 5 years, the longest I've lived anywhere since moving out of my parents house to go to college. When I sit down to add all the numbers up, I get to 32 years old and it still doesn't make sense.
It's like trying to balance a check book: the numbers are all there and (hopefully) add up evenly, but sometimes it still doesn't make sense. Did I fall asleep and miss something? Did I hit a time warp at some point? Maybe that was it. Time warp makes as much sense as anything else. That or I'm secretly Rip van Winkle.
And then at other times, yes, I am ABSOLUTELY 32. The idea of going out to clubs or bars or taking wild vacations or drinking all night (you know, stereotypical 20-something behavior) sounds exhausting. I'd much rather sit at home and cross-stitch and watch Netflix or Hulu or watch a dvd or listen to an audio book. (Maybe I'm actually OLDER than 32, based on my favorite activities. I'm ready to sign up for AARP! Cripes.) Chasing my children around a park or playground is tiring. Taking a big trip SOUNDS fun, but actually doing it is so not fun. We recently went on our annual New Braunfels trip and it was a lot. Packing for three kids and myself away for four days and planning on cooking while we're there....well, I filled my car and Austin's with our gear. And we used every bit of it. We played the games, spread the toys across the floor, watched the dvds, ate the food, wore the clothes, changed the diapers, used the Go-Pod and the pack-n-play, mixed up the bottles, drank, then washed the bottles. The last 24 hours I was essentially on my own. Yes, family was around but it's still really me. And it was tiring.
I'm 32 now! I'm getting older! My hair is still thick and dark, but now the color is helped along. I've got shiny silver hairs taking over and pushing the dark ones aside. My skin is still fairly smooth, but it's starting to loosen and crease. My body is thicker than 16 years ago, and for good reason. It's been stretched and filled and emptied three times. I've been marked by my 32 years on this planet. I've been physically scarred, and torn. I've been formed by life and changed from who I was, like a lump of clay. And the clay has been painted and now the paint is starting slowly to fade and chip away, but the cracks could be beautiful, too, if I let them.
If I embrace my new 32 year old self, embrace the stretch marks and gray hairs and coming wrinkles (though my mom doesn't have many so fingers crossed), embrace the canvas and the paint, then I'll be setting a good example for my children AND making my life easier. Complaining about how I look isn't good for anyone. I'm soft for little heads to lay on and my hair is silver to shine in the darkness when they're scared and need Mommy.
It's been an eventful 32 years. Moves, deaths, marriages, births, work, play, sleep, sleeplessness, so much has happened. And so much is still to come.
But seriously. Thirty-two years. Time flies when you're having fun.
I was seriously a cute toddler. Look at me!
In college: scraping wallpaper in our tiny bathroom to repaint it. We found something like 4 layers of paper. Not even kidding. I still have that shirt. It does NOT fit as well as it used to.
This past weekend at my birthday dinner.
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