Surviving

I've heard from several different sources that once you have three, and can handle it, you can pretty much have as many kids as you want because at that point, what's one more?

Well...so far, that's only partly true. It's been a rough transition in just a couple ways. And they're not terrible, really.

The church and our friends really stepped up this birth and we didn't have to cook any dinners for nearly two full weeks, which was so nice. That meant we didn't need much in the way of groceries, either, and what little we did need Austin could grab in just a few minutes in the store. We'd stocked up on snack type stuff and we had our own freezer meals so we're still sitting pretty food wise.

The tricky part was the fact that spring break started on Austin's second day back to work. It's always a little rough trying to keep them entertained when I have low energy, but throw in a newborn who I don't really want to take to many places and it's harder. Then add in that she feels like she should be nursing on a nearly constant basis and it's basically impossible. We watched a lot of Netflix (did you know that you can watch the entire series of Sarah and Duck on Netflix in one day? I do. We did it nearly every day this past week) and took naps in Mommy's bed and ate lots of Cheez-its and goldfish and leftovers and toast. We went to a doctor's appointment for Rebekah on Tuesday (she was at 8#3 at 12 days old) and a midwife check up for both of us (she was at 8#6 then), got lunch and cookies from McKay's and had a picnic on Thursday. Aunt Cari came back to help out on Friday and its definitely nice to have her here, she is for sure helping by getting the kids out of the house periodically so I can focus on Rebekah, but at this point, I have a slightly better handle on things. Slightly.

I'm definitely looking forward to Monday when the Es go back to CCF and Asher goes back to school and I can just be alone with Squishy and sleep as much as she'll let me (which isn't much).

Breastfeeding is going well, as her weight gain will attest to. She nurses seemingly around the clock. Overnight, she'll nurse for the majority of a two hour span every hour or so, which means I'm not getting much sleep at night. And since I've got other kids to keep alive during the day I can't nap very much then. I'm giving her a little longer to kind of get a schedule or get over a growth spurt but if she's going to keep up with this constant nursing all day every day, we're stopping. I can't do it. I seriously will nurse her for 30 minutes on each side and she'll be asleep so I'll take the opportunity to go to the bathroom, grab a quick bite to eat (toast or maybe a piece of fruit or something) and she'll wake up and be wanting to nurse again. Another 30 minutes on each side and she'll be asleep again but as soon as I lay her down or readjust my clothes, she wakes up and wants to nurse. She will literally nurse until she overflows. We've had some explosive spit ups where it comes out her nose and mouth simultaneously. She nurses through them. Austin will occasionally give her a bottle of formula to give me a break overnight and she'll sleep a few more hours that way, but then she wakes up and we start all over again.

It's just too much. I've never enjoyed breastfeeding to begin with, I do it because it's cheaper than formula and I do believe that breastmilk is better for babies than formula, though I think formula is fantastic, too. But with three other small children to take care of, I can't spend 6 or 7 hours a day tied to one small infant. It's a shame because she's my last, but it'll be ok, no matter what.

So next up is figuring out our summer and how we're going to survive that. I know things will be easier with Rebekah by then, but I still have to keep in mind the needs of the others. Finding things that aren't going to be super difficult for me to do solo with a 6, 4, 2, and 3 month old gang will be interesting. At least this summer we'll have MDO to help out and give me breaks during the week (weekends are easier since Austin's around). Should be an interesting summer.