This week has not been great. Grab some popcorn and get comfortable: I'm about to tell you why I almost killed Eden yesterday.
Monday was the last day of CCF and even though Eden wasn't technically cleared by her doctor, we wrote up a release and sent her to MDO so I could get a little break before the holidays. I spent part of it with a friend taking blankets to the hospital for NICU and lost babies in Colt's honor. He would have been 4 months old on Sunday.
Eden's first post-op check up was Monday at 230. Our local doctor didn't get the surgeon's records so he couldn't tell us anything or answer any questions we had. He couldn't tell what her sutures are made of so we don't know if they need to come out or will dissolve. He recommended we take her to the second post-op in Dallas, instead of doing it here in town. When I called Children's, the chart had no details and the soonest they can get us in is February 11. At 730am. So there's another overnight stay in Dallas. I left a message with the surgical people to ask about the sutures and still haven't heard back, so that's on my to-do list for today.
Tuesday was the boys' Christmas program at school. Asher was to "make" and bring a dish from his country. He chose Israel, so we made challah. It's not super difficult, the braiding is the tricky part. I did a trial run last week and it turned out well, so we made a second batch, starting Monday and finishing after school so that Asher could actually participate in creating his dish. I forgot how long it takes to rise so we were looking at being about 45 minutes late. Then I noticed I have a bread proof setting on my oven and used that. It cut the rising time in half. So we had three beautiful braided challah loaves and were on time.
Rebekah didn't nap at all on Tuesday so she passed out about 3 minutes before we got to the church and then was a crabby pants the rest of the evening. We got home around 730 and she was passed out by 745.
During the day, Eden had an accident in her underwear that resulted in a bath. She filled the tub almost to the brim, the put about four times as much shampoo in her hair as was necessary, meaning she couldn't rinse it out. I was helping her climb out of the tub but she still managed to do a flip and land on her back on the floor. She immediately sat up and said "I'm ok!"
Claw foot tubs definitely have their draw backs.
She landed in the spot where she'd managed to pee on the floor earlier. I'd tossed a towel down to soak it up, so she wasn't in a puddle of pee, but still. I decided "eh, clean enough" and got her up. As I was getting her dressed, I realized she still had a ton of shampoo in her hair, so I had to hold her screaming under the shower to get it out.
Kids are great.
We bought a bidet add-on to help kids with bottom wiping issues but our toilets are so weird we can't attach it. But in the process of discovering this, Austin didn't get everything hooked back together the right way the first time so there was leaking all over the floor. For a couple days. I'm pretty sure that's (mostly) fixed now.
Wednesday the house got cleaned, which always makes me feel better, especially since some of my favorite people are the people who clean my house (not because they clean my house, but that definitely helps). The day had several mild annoyances, including a migraine, but nothing too major.
Then it was Thursday. I woke up and it was already not a great day. Feminine things happened resulting in soaking things in the sink and stripping the bed to the mattress to do laundry. Things were going ok and the grocery delivery arrived and I headed downstairs to get it, scan it in, and put it away. Part way through that process, Eden wandered in to talk to me. After a couple minutes I heard trickling.
My first thought was the toilet in the bathroom and that the leaking had gotten worse. I walked into the hallway and looked and saw water dripping from the door frame. I thought "Oh man, the toilet is spraying out the top!"
Nope.
Eden had decided to wash her hands upstairs, so had turned the tap on full blast and walked away. The sink was stopped up to soak, and it doesn't drain fantastically to begin with, so it just....overflowed. All over the floor. And into the hallway. Halfway to the playroom. And down through the crack in the floor where the tile meets the wood.
There may or may not have been shouting and swearing. Because I still had a dining table full of food to put away and now I had a small swimming pool to clean up.
Other moms probably would not have sworn. I'm not those moms. Jesus...well, he never had an almost four year old flood an upstairs sink to the point that water was dripping into a large puddle in the downstairs bathroom, so we can't REALLY say what he would have done. Probably not sworn, though. Cause, you know. Jesus.
To my credit, I did not knock her back down the stairs or spank her or any of the other ten thousand things that sprang to mind. I sent her to her room and told her to stay there until I told her she could come out. I threw all the towels on the water (that I JUST WASHED THE DAY BEFORE) and headed downstairs to do what I could there.
After all the towels were down, all I could do was wait for the dripping to stop so I went back to my groceries. And texted my friends and husband because they could at the very least commiserate, if not get a chuckle out of the schadenfreude.
School got out at 1 yesterday and after I got the boys I called the insurance company to see what their advice was. He said call a water restoration company and see if they could come look and give me an idea of what to do.
The place I called was crazy busy. The guy couldn't get out for a couple of hours and when he finally did, he kept getting calls. He said they're working on the Abilene Reporter News building and another office building that had a flood, so it's just him right now to do pretty much all other calls.
He checked the floors and door frames and the meter lit up yellow around the top of the downstairs door frame. It was red at the crack upstairs and green or yellow everywhere else, so he decided we don't actually need to have full power machines doing water extraction or drying. He suggested a fan left to blow on the area for a couple of days, shook my hand, and headed out. No charge.
I recommend A-Town Hi-Tech. When they're not busy saving professional buildings.
Luckily, we have two box fans that didn't make the move, so Austin grabbed one after dinner and used his engineering skills to set it up with a book and a foot stool so that it is blowing directly on the crack. Luckily we have no expected company until either late Saturday or early Sunday, so we'll just leave it be. About dinner time I realized with all the insanity I hadn't eaten or drunk anything all day so I had a major migraine and low blood sugar that made me feel awful. So I drank some juice, ate some dinner, and went to rest. I'd taken some migraine meds with caffeine in them, so I couldn't sleep, but it wore off and the migraine returned, so I was asleep around 1130.
I have no idea when the boys went to bed, I told them to keep their activities quiet and not to raid the kitchen. They're still asleep at 945, so they were probably up until like, 2.
I still have a headache, and I'm still not feeling fantastic, but I did get up and go to Bogie's to try out the new breakfast sandwiches. I'm a fan. But then, it's hard to go wrong with a bagel, bacon, eggs, and cheese in my book.
Here's hoping Christmas is a good one. Excuse me while I go back to bed.
Friday, December 21, 2018
Tuesday, December 11, 2018
Adventures with Eden part 3
I think I've mostly recovered from the trip now, though there's still stuff we're dealing with. I'll just start at the beginning.
Thursday, I got a phone call with pre-op instructions. Basically, your child is a gremlin: no food or liquids (beyond clear liquids) after midnight. We were instructed to give her a bath and wash her hair and dress her in clean pajamas. The woman also mentioned that we were scheduled to stay Monday night, which really threw me for a loop. After calling the doctor's office, we were told we weren't supposed to stay, but we went ahead and made some back up plans just in case.
We'd made arrangements with Mom and Bob to come stay with the boys and Rebekah while we were gone. They got here about 3 on Sunday afternoon and we passed on some information, kissed the kids goodbye, and were on the road by about 345 or so. It was an uneventful drive, with Eden sleeping most of it, and we got to the hotel about 630. Beth and Allen met us there and we had dinner at the hotel, then around 730, I took Eden upstairs for her bath. She splashed around happily, then let me wash her hair and wash her body with Hibicleanse. Afterwards, she sat with me on the bed so I could comb out her hair and braid it. She was extremely pleased with her braids and kept checking herself out in the mirror.
We tried to go to bed early, but after such a long nap in the car, Eden wasn't tired. She finally dropped off sometime around 10 and Austin wasn't too far behind her (he may have been ahead of her. She insisted he sleep in her bed so I don't know). I couldn't sleep, so I was awake until nearly midnight reading, then woke up at 120am when Eden loudly slurped down the milk in her cup we'd forgotten to take away. I know the time because I looked so I could tell the staff at the hospital.
She woke up thirsty again about 345. I couldn't get back to sleep, especially since it wouldn't have been for very long, so I just got up and got dressed. We were checked out of the hotel, parked, checked in at the hospital, and at the admitting area of the hospital by 5am, 30 minutes earlier than necessary. So we sat and watched the early morning news anchors banter about coffee and music.
We got up to the surgery area about 545 and about 6 they took us back to the pre-op area. Eden was distracted by tv while nurses, anesthesiologists, doctors, and surgeons all came in to talk to us and ask questions. They tried to give her some pre-op medications to preemptively help with pain and to help her relax but it didn't taste good so she spit it out all over the bed.
Just after 7, they wheeled her out and we went looking for breakfast. We found that the cafeteria didn't have much, but they did have a guy making omelets. Which we both enjoyed.
We ate our breakfast in the family room area of the surgical waiting area and kept tabs on Eden by the monitors on the walls. We had a little buzzer like a restaurant gives you, but we kept getting ones that didn't work so they'd have to call me on my phone. It seemed to take forever to update from Pre-Op to OR, but then only read OR for about 5 minutes before we got a call she was out. We waited a couple more minutes then went to a small consultation room where the surgeon came in and told us everything went great and she was already waking up.
By 845, we were waiting for her in the PACU. It took a little while for her to show up, so the nurse gave us the post-op instructions. She also warned us that Eden would be grumpy (and boy was she right...lol) and some sore but that she'd be back to normal in about 24 hours.
I could hear Eden's angry screaming from wherever she was for several minutes before she actually showed up. Her eyelid was swollen and wouldn't close at all, so she was literally sleeping with one eye open. She was in and out of sleep for a while and when she was first brought in, she cried that she wanted Mommy and calmed down significantly when I put my hands on her and told her I was there. She had her good eye closed so I don't think she saw me, but she heard me. They kept trying to get her to drink apple juice but that made her mad, so they got her some milk, but Austin had taken all our stuff to the car while we waited so we didn't have HER cup, which resulted in more crying. So he went all the way back to get it. She fell asleep after drinking a couple ounces.
She was really drowsy and groggy but about 1015, they gave us the go ahead to go home, if we felt comfortable with it. We did.
So, Austin carried this nearly 40 pound little girl who was basically limp all the way back to the car and got her buckled in and we headed home.
She slept most of the way home, wearing her sunglasses to protect her eyes since the one still doesn't close great. She cried a lot yesterday because she didn't know what she wanted but we weren't offering it to her. She ate a plate and a half of mac and cheese before curling up in our bed and alternately napping and watching tv the rest of the afternoon. She ate some Chik-fil-A (yeah, no way was I cooking yesterday) for dinner and after that, seemed back to her normal self, demanding that Austin read her stories and play with her.
We have to put ointment on her eyelid 4 times a day (and she hates it) and she can take Tylenol and Motrin as needed for pain. She doesn't like those either and usually spits them out, so we quit on that. She doesn't seem to be in much pain this morning, though she is more subdued than usual. She's a little clingy but not too bad. Rebekah, though, is as much in my business as she can be. You would think I'd left her for several days, not 22 hours.
Eden has a follow up on Monday, the 17th, and again in January for wound care. Luckily, we can see the local ophthalmologist for those and save me driving to Dallas and back two more times.
A fun fact that blindsided us at the hospital yesterday was the casual mention that she'll have to have this redone ANNUALLY for a while. And then periodically after that. It makes sense, they put in a small cable in a triangle pattern to help her eyelid lift and lower and it's not going to grow with her, but we just hadn't thought about that and no one had actually told us. So we get to go through all this mess every year for a while. I'm super excited about the next time. (meaning...not at all excited) At least I'll know what to expect and that'll make it easier to prepare for, but she'll also know what's coming. We had talked about getting her eye fixed but were careful not to say "cut" and accidentally said it yesterday morning at the hospital and she got a little freaked out.
She still needs to wear an eye patch on her good eye to help the bad one strengthen, but that won't be a life long thing. I'm going to give her a few days to recover then we'll work on patching a couple hours a day. It seems a little silly since her last exam indicated they were almost the same, but whatever. Doctor's orders.
I am worn out from all this. I spent last week running around getting Christmas as done as I could so that this week can be quiet and low key and all about Eden. I'm doing some trial baking today for Asher's contribution to his school's international potluck and bottling up the homemade vanilla I periodically give as gifts, along with a few other regular chores. I need to go put the ointment on her but it's so quiet and relaxed I hate to ruin that.
Thursday, I got a phone call with pre-op instructions. Basically, your child is a gremlin: no food or liquids (beyond clear liquids) after midnight. We were instructed to give her a bath and wash her hair and dress her in clean pajamas. The woman also mentioned that we were scheduled to stay Monday night, which really threw me for a loop. After calling the doctor's office, we were told we weren't supposed to stay, but we went ahead and made some back up plans just in case.
We'd made arrangements with Mom and Bob to come stay with the boys and Rebekah while we were gone. They got here about 3 on Sunday afternoon and we passed on some information, kissed the kids goodbye, and were on the road by about 345 or so. It was an uneventful drive, with Eden sleeping most of it, and we got to the hotel about 630. Beth and Allen met us there and we had dinner at the hotel, then around 730, I took Eden upstairs for her bath. She splashed around happily, then let me wash her hair and wash her body with Hibicleanse. Afterwards, she sat with me on the bed so I could comb out her hair and braid it. She was extremely pleased with her braids and kept checking herself out in the mirror.
We tried to go to bed early, but after such a long nap in the car, Eden wasn't tired. She finally dropped off sometime around 10 and Austin wasn't too far behind her (he may have been ahead of her. She insisted he sleep in her bed so I don't know). I couldn't sleep, so I was awake until nearly midnight reading, then woke up at 120am when Eden loudly slurped down the milk in her cup we'd forgotten to take away. I know the time because I looked so I could tell the staff at the hospital.
She woke up thirsty again about 345. I couldn't get back to sleep, especially since it wouldn't have been for very long, so I just got up and got dressed. We were checked out of the hotel, parked, checked in at the hospital, and at the admitting area of the hospital by 5am, 30 minutes earlier than necessary. So we sat and watched the early morning news anchors banter about coffee and music.
We got up to the surgery area about 545 and about 6 they took us back to the pre-op area. Eden was distracted by tv while nurses, anesthesiologists, doctors, and surgeons all came in to talk to us and ask questions. They tried to give her some pre-op medications to preemptively help with pain and to help her relax but it didn't taste good so she spit it out all over the bed.
Just after 7, they wheeled her out and we went looking for breakfast. We found that the cafeteria didn't have much, but they did have a guy making omelets. Which we both enjoyed.
We ate our breakfast in the family room area of the surgical waiting area and kept tabs on Eden by the monitors on the walls. We had a little buzzer like a restaurant gives you, but we kept getting ones that didn't work so they'd have to call me on my phone. It seemed to take forever to update from Pre-Op to OR, but then only read OR for about 5 minutes before we got a call she was out. We waited a couple more minutes then went to a small consultation room where the surgeon came in and told us everything went great and she was already waking up.
By 845, we were waiting for her in the PACU. It took a little while for her to show up, so the nurse gave us the post-op instructions. She also warned us that Eden would be grumpy (and boy was she right...lol) and some sore but that she'd be back to normal in about 24 hours.
I could hear Eden's angry screaming from wherever she was for several minutes before she actually showed up. Her eyelid was swollen and wouldn't close at all, so she was literally sleeping with one eye open. She was in and out of sleep for a while and when she was first brought in, she cried that she wanted Mommy and calmed down significantly when I put my hands on her and told her I was there. She had her good eye closed so I don't think she saw me, but she heard me. They kept trying to get her to drink apple juice but that made her mad, so they got her some milk, but Austin had taken all our stuff to the car while we waited so we didn't have HER cup, which resulted in more crying. So he went all the way back to get it. She fell asleep after drinking a couple ounces.
She was really drowsy and groggy but about 1015, they gave us the go ahead to go home, if we felt comfortable with it. We did.
So, Austin carried this nearly 40 pound little girl who was basically limp all the way back to the car and got her buckled in and we headed home.
She slept most of the way home, wearing her sunglasses to protect her eyes since the one still doesn't close great. She cried a lot yesterday because she didn't know what she wanted but we weren't offering it to her. She ate a plate and a half of mac and cheese before curling up in our bed and alternately napping and watching tv the rest of the afternoon. She ate some Chik-fil-A (yeah, no way was I cooking yesterday) for dinner and after that, seemed back to her normal self, demanding that Austin read her stories and play with her.
We have to put ointment on her eyelid 4 times a day (and she hates it) and she can take Tylenol and Motrin as needed for pain. She doesn't like those either and usually spits them out, so we quit on that. She doesn't seem to be in much pain this morning, though she is more subdued than usual. She's a little clingy but not too bad. Rebekah, though, is as much in my business as she can be. You would think I'd left her for several days, not 22 hours.
Eden has a follow up on Monday, the 17th, and again in January for wound care. Luckily, we can see the local ophthalmologist for those and save me driving to Dallas and back two more times.
A fun fact that blindsided us at the hospital yesterday was the casual mention that she'll have to have this redone ANNUALLY for a while. And then periodically after that. It makes sense, they put in a small cable in a triangle pattern to help her eyelid lift and lower and it's not going to grow with her, but we just hadn't thought about that and no one had actually told us. So we get to go through all this mess every year for a while. I'm super excited about the next time. (meaning...not at all excited) At least I'll know what to expect and that'll make it easier to prepare for, but she'll also know what's coming. We had talked about getting her eye fixed but were careful not to say "cut" and accidentally said it yesterday morning at the hospital and she got a little freaked out.
She still needs to wear an eye patch on her good eye to help the bad one strengthen, but that won't be a life long thing. I'm going to give her a few days to recover then we'll work on patching a couple hours a day. It seems a little silly since her last exam indicated they were almost the same, but whatever. Doctor's orders.
I am worn out from all this. I spent last week running around getting Christmas as done as I could so that this week can be quiet and low key and all about Eden. I'm doing some trial baking today for Asher's contribution to his school's international potluck and bottling up the homemade vanilla I periodically give as gifts, along with a few other regular chores. I need to go put the ointment on her but it's so quiet and relaxed I hate to ruin that.
Ready to go to the hospital
In the elevator. Sometimes she looks so grown up to me.
Walking in carrying her Wonder Woman shield blanket
Showing me her hospital bracelet, which she later removed.
Curled up in admitting waiting to go upstairs
Our first buzzer that didn't work
Getting her stats checked.
Watching tv while we waited for more medical people
She got bored so was climbing all over her crib
Grinning at me between the bars
She insisted this was how she take the picture
Being wheeled out
Sign in the bathroom in the cafeteria. I have some questions. I feel like there's a story here.
She was 120, this shows still pre-op
In OR
In PACU
No 13th bed. We were bed 22
After surgery. She's asleep and her mouth is red from some medicine they gave her that she spit out.
Austin carrying her to the car
Trying to sleep in the car but the sun was bright
Sunglasses helped her sleep better. The hospital gave her that little teddy bear. We kept telling her not to touch her eye so at one point she pressed his foot against her eye. I chided her again and she said "I didn't touch my eye, my bear touched my eye." I couldn't argue too much.
She spent from about 1pm until around 8ish on our bed with us. Then got up, ate some dinner, and got back to bossing everyone around.
Tuesday, November 6, 2018
Adventures with Eden part 2
We all say we want to raise strong, independent women. But. The actuality of raising those women? Lordy.
Eden has an echocardiogram every year just to keep an eye on her development and growth and how her heart is functioning. Until last year, we've always had them in Abilene, but apparently the machines in Abilene just don't give great images, so last year she had her first echo in Plano, where our doctor is based. It was a couple of days after Christmas so we were already in the area and it wasn't that big of a deal. This year, with her surgery happening December 10, they wanted to check it before and make sure she's good and strong. That appointment was yesterday afternoon in Dallas.
Since her appointment wasn't until noon, we decided to just drive up and back in one day and save the money on a hotel. We have family in DFW, but everyone lives at least an hour or more from the hospital, so it's just easier for us to stay at the hotel 2 minutes from the hospital. We were up early, Dad got Eden dressed, and she and I were out of the house before 8. A pitstop at AM Donuts for fortifications, and we were on the road. She ate her donut, drank some milk, chattered about nonsense, and was passed out by 845.
She's a pretty good road tripper, for the most part.
We got to the hospital around 1030 and parked, then hiked the seemingly half a mile in to the cardiology wing. I discovered at hospital check in that I don't know where my driver's license is. It turned out ok, but that's an alarming thing to discover three hours from home. We got up to the cardio check in desk and discovered that we were early. An hour and a half early. And they couldn't check us in for an hour. I don't get the why of that, but whatever. Luckily, Eden has a healthy imagination and I'd brought my kindle to read so we were relatively ok for that hour. We went downstairs to grab some food at one point and ended up both eating just a bag of chips. Though Eden managed to drag out a small bag of chips for three hours.
Eventually, they handed me some paperwork, pointed me down a hall and told me to go to the next waiting room. In gathering up stuff and Eden, I missed exact directions and ended up in a waiting room labeled "Echo Waiting" which was the wrong room. After five or so minutes there, the woman who directed us came looking and told me where we were supposed to be. The benefit of sitting in the wrong place meant that when we got to the right place, we were taken right back to a room where they took Eden's vitals.
She's big for her age, but overall healthy and there were no concerns over weight or size or anything. Her blood pressure was good, too.
After that check, we were sent back to the echo waiting room, this time for real. We were there for about 5 or 10 mintues, and that's where Eden made friends with a little girl named Aster who was there for her heart surgery. Her mom was nervous and chatty so I learned she was air lifted at birth to Children's and diagnosed with (I think) a problem with her tricuspid valve and as a result, she was there for about 6 weeks after birth before she was allowed home. And now at 3, one side of her heart is bigger than the other, so she was there for her surgery yesterday. She was petite and quiet, especially compared to Eden who's just a big ole ball of sass and personality.
We went back for the echo before they were called and spent the next hour in a dark room while the tech did the echo of Eden's heart. They have a cool set up with a pad so Eden was watching Alice in Wonderland through the whole thing. After, they took us back to the area where she'd had her vitals and waited for the doctor to come discuss the results with us.
Everything looked good and she had no concerns and Eden is cleared for surgery as far as her heart is concerned. We talked about a small incident that happened at a birthday party a few weeks ago where Eden likely experienced vasovagal syncope (basically she got overexcited and nearly fainted). Eden hasn't had any other issues before or since but the doctor told us if it happens again to call Children's. Vasovagal isn't typically anything to worry about and a lot of people experience it. But for Eden, it's a little more concerning.
So yay, one more thing to watch out for. Because there wasn't enough already.
After all that, we realized we hadn't gotten a pulse/ox, so they did that and then she got a 24 hour EKG holter. Which I discovered yesterday is spelled "holter" and not "halter." Because sure.
She was finished then so we checked out and discovered there was no payment required, which was a pleasant surprise. Then we started the half hour trek back to the car.
Eden was wearing shoes that were too big, so she couldn't and wouldn't walk faster than a snail's pace. I think babies learning to crawl move faster than she did all day yesterday. I slowed my pace down considerably, but if I'd walked with her I'd have been basically stationary. So I'd walk a few paces, then stop and wait for a minute (not kidding) then continue on. Everytime I slowed or stopped, she slowed. A few times people thought she was wandering through the hospital on her own, she was so far behind me. I finally lost my temper on the way from the echo to the exam room and grabbed her hand and made her walk faster. And on the way to the car, she was practically crawling across the driveway, so I grabbed her hand none too gently and basically dragged her to the car. I was carrying her backpack, my purse, the return envelope for the EKG machine, the paperwork, her cup, and Roby, her robot, while also dragging her crying through the parking garage. I was pretty well done.
She got a chocolate chip cookie as her reward for good behavior through the day while I filled up with gas, then we hit the road a little after 3. A stop in Ranger to text Austin some info and another 15 minutes from home because she had to pee RIGHT NOW and we finally made it home around 6. When she promptly threw a temper tantrum because she wanted to ride her bike and it was too dark. In bringing her in, Austin inadvertently unhooked two of the leads, so we had to get those reattached and note it on the diary. I was wiped out so went to bed to rest and Austin put on a tv show for her until bedtime. And at some point she took the EKG stuff off.
I just lost it. Austin lost it. We managed to get it back on her and upset her enough that she actually stayed in bed the rest of the night and this morning, she still has it on. I need to call the hospital and explain what happened and see what they want to do. They need the results before her surgery, so we've got about a month to get it done, but still. This is hugely annoying.
She's a good kid, if a spoiled one. She CAN behave, she just chooses not to a lot of the time. Luckily yesterday she chose to most of the time. She saved the misbehaving for home.
Ten hours of just us was a lot. She talks practically non-stop and she's very very 3. Luckily, the next several appointments are just regular ones here in town and Austin will be with us for her surgery so I won't have to deal with her alone.
Introvert mom traveling with extrovert toddler is EXHAUSTING.
Eden has an echocardiogram every year just to keep an eye on her development and growth and how her heart is functioning. Until last year, we've always had them in Abilene, but apparently the machines in Abilene just don't give great images, so last year she had her first echo in Plano, where our doctor is based. It was a couple of days after Christmas so we were already in the area and it wasn't that big of a deal. This year, with her surgery happening December 10, they wanted to check it before and make sure she's good and strong. That appointment was yesterday afternoon in Dallas.
Since her appointment wasn't until noon, we decided to just drive up and back in one day and save the money on a hotel. We have family in DFW, but everyone lives at least an hour or more from the hospital, so it's just easier for us to stay at the hotel 2 minutes from the hospital. We were up early, Dad got Eden dressed, and she and I were out of the house before 8. A pitstop at AM Donuts for fortifications, and we were on the road. She ate her donut, drank some milk, chattered about nonsense, and was passed out by 845.
She's a pretty good road tripper, for the most part.
We got to the hospital around 1030 and parked, then hiked the seemingly half a mile in to the cardiology wing. I discovered at hospital check in that I don't know where my driver's license is. It turned out ok, but that's an alarming thing to discover three hours from home. We got up to the cardio check in desk and discovered that we were early. An hour and a half early. And they couldn't check us in for an hour. I don't get the why of that, but whatever. Luckily, Eden has a healthy imagination and I'd brought my kindle to read so we were relatively ok for that hour. We went downstairs to grab some food at one point and ended up both eating just a bag of chips. Though Eden managed to drag out a small bag of chips for three hours.
Eventually, they handed me some paperwork, pointed me down a hall and told me to go to the next waiting room. In gathering up stuff and Eden, I missed exact directions and ended up in a waiting room labeled "Echo Waiting" which was the wrong room. After five or so minutes there, the woman who directed us came looking and told me where we were supposed to be. The benefit of sitting in the wrong place meant that when we got to the right place, we were taken right back to a room where they took Eden's vitals.
She's big for her age, but overall healthy and there were no concerns over weight or size or anything. Her blood pressure was good, too.
After that check, we were sent back to the echo waiting room, this time for real. We were there for about 5 or 10 mintues, and that's where Eden made friends with a little girl named Aster who was there for her heart surgery. Her mom was nervous and chatty so I learned she was air lifted at birth to Children's and diagnosed with (I think) a problem with her tricuspid valve and as a result, she was there for about 6 weeks after birth before she was allowed home. And now at 3, one side of her heart is bigger than the other, so she was there for her surgery yesterday. She was petite and quiet, especially compared to Eden who's just a big ole ball of sass and personality.
We went back for the echo before they were called and spent the next hour in a dark room while the tech did the echo of Eden's heart. They have a cool set up with a pad so Eden was watching Alice in Wonderland through the whole thing. After, they took us back to the area where she'd had her vitals and waited for the doctor to come discuss the results with us.
Everything looked good and she had no concerns and Eden is cleared for surgery as far as her heart is concerned. We talked about a small incident that happened at a birthday party a few weeks ago where Eden likely experienced vasovagal syncope (basically she got overexcited and nearly fainted). Eden hasn't had any other issues before or since but the doctor told us if it happens again to call Children's. Vasovagal isn't typically anything to worry about and a lot of people experience it. But for Eden, it's a little more concerning.
So yay, one more thing to watch out for. Because there wasn't enough already.
After all that, we realized we hadn't gotten a pulse/ox, so they did that and then she got a 24 hour EKG holter. Which I discovered yesterday is spelled "holter" and not "halter." Because sure.
She was finished then so we checked out and discovered there was no payment required, which was a pleasant surprise. Then we started the half hour trek back to the car.
Eden was wearing shoes that were too big, so she couldn't and wouldn't walk faster than a snail's pace. I think babies learning to crawl move faster than she did all day yesterday. I slowed my pace down considerably, but if I'd walked with her I'd have been basically stationary. So I'd walk a few paces, then stop and wait for a minute (not kidding) then continue on. Everytime I slowed or stopped, she slowed. A few times people thought she was wandering through the hospital on her own, she was so far behind me. I finally lost my temper on the way from the echo to the exam room and grabbed her hand and made her walk faster. And on the way to the car, she was practically crawling across the driveway, so I grabbed her hand none too gently and basically dragged her to the car. I was carrying her backpack, my purse, the return envelope for the EKG machine, the paperwork, her cup, and Roby, her robot, while also dragging her crying through the parking garage. I was pretty well done.
She got a chocolate chip cookie as her reward for good behavior through the day while I filled up with gas, then we hit the road a little after 3. A stop in Ranger to text Austin some info and another 15 minutes from home because she had to pee RIGHT NOW and we finally made it home around 6. When she promptly threw a temper tantrum because she wanted to ride her bike and it was too dark. In bringing her in, Austin inadvertently unhooked two of the leads, so we had to get those reattached and note it on the diary. I was wiped out so went to bed to rest and Austin put on a tv show for her until bedtime. And at some point she took the EKG stuff off.
I just lost it. Austin lost it. We managed to get it back on her and upset her enough that she actually stayed in bed the rest of the night and this morning, she still has it on. I need to call the hospital and explain what happened and see what they want to do. They need the results before her surgery, so we've got about a month to get it done, but still. This is hugely annoying.
She's a good kid, if a spoiled one. She CAN behave, she just chooses not to a lot of the time. Luckily yesterday she chose to most of the time. She saved the misbehaving for home.
Ten hours of just us was a lot. She talks practically non-stop and she's very very 3. Luckily, the next several appointments are just regular ones here in town and Austin will be with us for her surgery so I won't have to deal with her alone.
Introvert mom traveling with extrovert toddler is EXHAUSTING.
Tuesday, October 16, 2018
Leah
Tonight was our last content filled meeting of Circle With Faith, or Christian Women's Fellowship, for 2018. We get together once a month and eat and have some kind of content, sometimes Biblical, sometimes not. When we started at the beginning of the year trying to think of speakers, we had a blank month and I volunteered to lead a Bible study if we couldn't think of anything to fill it. And we didn't, really. So...I led a Bible study tonight.
The last time I did this I was basically filling in for my boyfriend, who was the small group leader in college and I was his assistant. We were discussing the woman caught in adultery and I had a book that had a more interesting take on it than just reading and discussing the verses. It gave a little backstory and history that the Bible leaves out. It went over pretty great, considering I had 10-15 college freshman boys leaning forward in their seats, paying close attention, and eager to know what happened next. I figured if that book could grab the attention of 18 year old boys, the women in the church would probably be even more interested.
I led from the third book in the Bad Girls of the Bible series by Liz Curtis Higgs, Slightly Bad Girls of the Bible. I took us through two chapters, both on Leah, because the first chapter stopped in the middle of her story and it felt incomplete to just stop there. I spent a couple hours last week reading the chapters and wrote out about 6 pages of notes (not that much, trust me) and was ready to go, worried that I'd either only fill about 5 minutes or have too much and go for like an hour. I ended up being right at about 30 minutes or so, which was good, since we'd spent a while discussing other things.
A couple people had seemed interested in coming but couldn't for various reasons, so I'm going to attempt to write out what I led. If you're interested in what we talked about, read on. Otherwise, you can feel free to stop now. :-)
The first chapter was titled Leah the Unseen.
First, I asked everyone to describe Leah and Rachel, how they remembered their descriptions in the Bible. We don't have much for physical appearance for Leah except she had "weak" or "dull" eyes. This doesn't necessarily mean that she had poor eyesight. The Biblical standard of beauty for eyes was bright and sparkling and lively. The word used to describe Leah's eyes is rakkoth, which means tender, delicate, soft. So she had pretty or nice eyes. She was not ugly or plain. It's very likely she was attractive, but maybe meek and shy. Rachel is described as "lovely in form and beautiful."
So Rachel was the hot cheerleader, outgoing and spirited and beautiful, and Leah was the quiet, shy wallflower.
We start off Leah's story with Jacob. He had just finished running away from home, crossing the desert, having a run in with an angel, and had come to a well where a bunch of shepherds were gathering, waiting for the rest of their buddies to arrive. The custom was to wait until every shepherd was there before getting a few men to roll the stone away and watering the sheep. Jacob was filled in on this as Rachel approached. Jacob immediately jumped up and pushed this big heavy stone off the well, watered her sheep, then burst into tears. He was going through some things.
We don't know if it was love at first sight, but definitely after a month of living with her family, there was something. Her father, his uncle, Laban, approached Jacob and said something along the lines of "hey, you're family, but you shouldn't have to work for free. What kind of wages would you like?" Jacob responded with "I'd like to marry Rachel in exchange for 7 years of work." Laban's answer was "Better you than some other man."
Gee, feel the paternal love.
This is our first hint at Laban's greed. The typical bride price at the time was 30 shekels. A shepherd typically eared around 10 shekels a year. So Jacob was offering more than double the typical bride price for Rachel. Of course Laban jumped on it.
Jacob did something interesting there, in that he named Rachel specifically. He recognized that Laban was tricky and cunning and greedy, possibly seeing the same family traits in his mother, Rebekah (who was Laban's sister) and himself. He knew that if he was vague, Laban would take advantage of it.
The Bible says of that time that "seven years seemed like only a few days." Rachel and Jacob were waiting eagerly to get married, probably exchanging glances, taking walks, getting to know each other, becoming very close. Leah was watching the whole time, waiting for her own suitor to appear, possibly growing to care for Jacob in her own way, too. Maybe she even fall in love with him a little. We don't know.
Don't you wish the Bible was a little more descriptive with certain things?
At the end of the seven years, Jacob went to Laban and said "Give me my wife so I can have sex with her." No subtlety there. Anyone see Jacob's mistake? He didn't say Rachel.
Laban gave a wedding feast, and according to the book, there's never a feast for no reason in the Bible. It always indicates a plot twist. This time was no exception. Laban decided to swap out the originally asked for Rachel for Leah, her older sister.
As a kid, I always kind of wondered just how dumb Jacob had to be not to notice the difference. There were so many times I thought "surely he'd have noticed..." and yet he never did. Was he just blinded by God for some reason? It turns out, he wasn't that dumb.
Apparently, the wedding feast was always all about the groom, so the bride not being present wasn't a big deal. There was always a lot of drinking. His tent was to be unlit. The bride was covered in a thick, heavy veil that covered her face and most of her body until after the consummation (which how does THAT work exactly? Not exactly a romantic wedding night I wouldn't think). And she was to be presented in utter silence.
So Jacob wasn't just a drunken idiot. He had no reason to think there was anything hinky going on. He trusted Laban, a man he had lived with and worked for for seven years. This was his uncle, not some random guy he'd met somewhere.
So here we come back to Leah. She was almost definitely forced by her father. I don't think anyone thinks it was her idea. But how willing a participant was she? Did she resist at all? Did she cry over the fact that she was stealing her sister's husband? Or did she smile as she put on her sister's wedding clothes? Was she giddy about marrying her handsome cousin? Was this Laban's plan from the beginning or did it come to him somewhere along the way?
Whatever the case, she knew when she entered that tent, when she lay down with him, that she was not what he was expecting. And she still went along with it. It seems unlikely that she would have done this if there wasn't at least SOME kind of feelings for Jacob, but maybe she would have. Personally, I feel like she must have, but that's mostly because the alternative is truly heartbreaking.
Lessons to take away from this chapter:
1. When we compare ourselves to others, we're seeing their highlights and comparing them to our blooper reels. This has become a popular meme on facebook and twitter, but it's so true. We don't know the struggles and truth that others are dealing with, even when we have friends who are nakedly honest with us. There's always some secret struggle we don't know about. And as awful as we may think our lives are, others may look at them and think they are ideal.
2. We should put our trust in God, not other men. Look how well trusting Laban worked out for Jacob. (It actually turned out pretty ok, so this is kind of a weird one.)
3. Actions speak louder than words. Laban spoke like someone you could trust but given any kind of wiggle room was only too willing to double cross.
Discussion questions we talked about were:
1. Men are defined by their actions and women are defined by their appearance. How do you describe yourself? If you were to describe a friend to someone who had never met them, how would you do it?
2. Which sister, Leah or Rachel, do you have more sympathy for?
3. Was Leah "slightly" bad, or did she have no choice?
The second chapter was title Leah the Unloved.
When Jacob woke up the day after his wedding, he found Leah in his bed and immediately went to Laban. We don't know if she was awake, if they talked at all, nothing. He just went to her dad and confronted him. One translation used the word "raged." Maybe he was angry, not just because he had been tricked, but also because he was realizing this was an all too familiar situation.
Wearing someone else's clothes, taking a sibling's place, tricking a man in the dark to take something that can't be taken back....what does that sound like? Oh right. Rebekah and Jacob tricking Isaac into giving him Esau's blessing.
Told you this family was tricky.
Jacob asked Laban why and Laban came back with a lame excuse of "oh well, the older daughter has to get married first." Jacob has been there for seven years. You would think he'd know this, and possibly have wondered about unmarried Leah, so maybe that wasn't really a thing? Either way, Laban immediately says "finish this daughter's bridal week, then we will give you the younger one." No names. No romance. No caring for his daughter's feelings. He just wants seven more years from Jacob.
I'd like to kick Laban. And Jacob, since he agreed to it.
Can you imagine what kind of a bridal week Leah had, knowing that at the end of this, her husband was going to go shack up in a tent across the way for a week with her sister? And for Rachel, having to live in the camp for that week, waiting her turn? Super super gross. Just icky all around.
At the end of that week, Rachel didn't get a wedding. She just got Jacob. And all his love. Some translations read "Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah" but it might be more accurate to say "rather than." No one thinks there was any kind of physical abuse, but there was definitely emotional neglect, which is bad, too.
Poor Leah. She is described as "unloved," "hated," and "despised." Holy crap. Her husband hated her for not being Rachel. Rachel hated her for taking her place. Her father, Laban, hated her for being manipulated by him, because he's a real jerk and a kick might be too nice. Everyone hated Leah.
Except God. God loved Leah.
He saw her pain and saw that she was unloved and "opened her womb." We don't know how long they were married before she got pregnant, but surely she was eager. Having babies was the mark of a worthy woman. A woman without children was basically nothing. So Leah was definitely wanting babies. And boy howdy.
Her first child was a son, Reuben, which translates to literally "Look! A son!" Her first recorded words in the Bible are "The Lord has seen my misery." After Reuben was born, she said "Surely my husband will love me now." According to the book, the first words spoken by someone in the Bible are indicative of who they are. And hers are about misery.
Her second child was another son, Simeon, which translates to "One who hears." She says "The Lord heard I am not loved."
Another son, Levi, followed. Levi means to cleave and she said "Now at last my husband will become attached."
Baby four was yet another son, Judah, which means "Praise." This time she said "This time I will praise the Lord."
The first time the phrase "Praise the Lord" is used in the Bible it is by an unloved woman.
Judah is where Jesus genealogy goes through. God took the unloved, unwanted, unseen woman, and used her as a mother of Jesus. Not the adored, beautiful, wonderful Rachel.
Who, at this point, has no children.
Leah has decided that four boys is probably enough, so she decides she's not having any more kids. She gives Jacob her slave girl and through her, has two more sons, Gad (lucky) and Asher (happy). At some point, one of her sons brings home some mandrake roots and they were supposed to be good for fertility or something, so Rachel bargains her night with Jacob for the roots. I'm guessing it had been a few years, since Leah had a son old enough to go off foraging, so she agreed. And that night she conceived Issachar, which means "God has rewarded me for giving my slave to my husband." These names are kinda weird.
Leah wasn't done, though. Later came a sixth son of her body, Zebulun, which means "fine gift." And this is the saddest part of her story to me. She said "Now surely Jacob will accept me."
After probably a dozen years of marriage and SIX SONS she's stopped hoping for love and is now hoping for acceptance.
I kinda want to kick Jacob now.
She has a seventh child, Dinah, and there's nothing written about what Leah said. I had to look up what her name means, vengeance. I don't know if that's foreshadowing for her own heartbreaking story or kind of a middle finger to Jacob. I'd prefer to think the latter since I'm in an "I don't like Jacob" mood.
Even after six strong, healthy sons, Jacob still didn't love Leah. But God did. He saw her as a daughter who needed mercy, as a wife who needed love, and as a mother who needed a reason to sing. He gave her a bounty of sons.
I think Jacob did at least grow to respect her somewhat, because she was buried in the cave with his ancestors Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, and Rebekah, and where he himself was buried. But that may have been because she was the first wife. At the time, if a man had multiple wives, the less favored wife's children were given the benefits of the firstborn, even if they weren't firstborn. Leah's were first through sixth, so there was no doubt there. Rachel, favored, beloved, desired, died giving birth to her second child, Benjamin, and was buried on the side of the road. Oh how the mighty have fallen.
Reading this gives a little insight into maybe additional reasons why Joseph's older brothers tossed him down a well and then sold him into slavery. Not only was he the favorite child, his mother was the favorite wife while the rest of their mothers were second class citizens or less, desperate for scraps of Jacob's affections and attentions. It's hard enough with four children and one husband, I can't imagine four wives and thirteen children (we assume...most daughters were never named and Dinah may have only been mentioned because of her story later on.)
Lessons to ponder:
1. Leah didn't whine, even though she had reason. She didn't complain, she wasn't irritable or demanding, she didn't become bitter. She didn't lord over her younger sister that she had baby boy after baby boy after baby boy while Rachel's arms were empty. Leah endured poor treatment and neglect with hope and faith.
2. Naming was important. Choose wisely. Some of the names people are giving their kids these days are nuts, but if the meaning has significance for you, go for it. Issachar, amiright?
3. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. How would you describe Leah now? Would you mention her dull eyes or talk about her strength of character?
4. One sin won't cut you off from God's love and grace. Jacob had way more than one sin and he was one of the father's of God's chosen people. And he was kind of a terrible person. So there's that.
Questions we talked about:
1. What's worse, Jacob discovering the swap the morning after or Leah realizing her husband hated, despised, and rejected her the morning after? (Personally, there's no debate: Leah all the way. He gets over it, I don't think she ever did.)
2. Was Leah merely tolerated or do you think Jacob's emotions might have changed towards her? Yes, there were seven babies, but it was his husbandly duties towards her. It wasn't necessarily out of any affection. I choose to believe he did develop some kind of positive feelings towards her because the alternative is awful. I want him to have some redeeming qualities.
3. Does God knowing your heart and intimate details of your life encourage you or make you uncomfortable?
I definitely came away with a better appreciation of Leah and a lesser opinion of Jacob. Maybe I should study him sometime to like him again...lol
The last time I did this I was basically filling in for my boyfriend, who was the small group leader in college and I was his assistant. We were discussing the woman caught in adultery and I had a book that had a more interesting take on it than just reading and discussing the verses. It gave a little backstory and history that the Bible leaves out. It went over pretty great, considering I had 10-15 college freshman boys leaning forward in their seats, paying close attention, and eager to know what happened next. I figured if that book could grab the attention of 18 year old boys, the women in the church would probably be even more interested.
I led from the third book in the Bad Girls of the Bible series by Liz Curtis Higgs, Slightly Bad Girls of the Bible. I took us through two chapters, both on Leah, because the first chapter stopped in the middle of her story and it felt incomplete to just stop there. I spent a couple hours last week reading the chapters and wrote out about 6 pages of notes (not that much, trust me) and was ready to go, worried that I'd either only fill about 5 minutes or have too much and go for like an hour. I ended up being right at about 30 minutes or so, which was good, since we'd spent a while discussing other things.
A couple people had seemed interested in coming but couldn't for various reasons, so I'm going to attempt to write out what I led. If you're interested in what we talked about, read on. Otherwise, you can feel free to stop now. :-)
The first chapter was titled Leah the Unseen.
First, I asked everyone to describe Leah and Rachel, how they remembered their descriptions in the Bible. We don't have much for physical appearance for Leah except she had "weak" or "dull" eyes. This doesn't necessarily mean that she had poor eyesight. The Biblical standard of beauty for eyes was bright and sparkling and lively. The word used to describe Leah's eyes is rakkoth, which means tender, delicate, soft. So she had pretty or nice eyes. She was not ugly or plain. It's very likely she was attractive, but maybe meek and shy. Rachel is described as "lovely in form and beautiful."
So Rachel was the hot cheerleader, outgoing and spirited and beautiful, and Leah was the quiet, shy wallflower.
We start off Leah's story with Jacob. He had just finished running away from home, crossing the desert, having a run in with an angel, and had come to a well where a bunch of shepherds were gathering, waiting for the rest of their buddies to arrive. The custom was to wait until every shepherd was there before getting a few men to roll the stone away and watering the sheep. Jacob was filled in on this as Rachel approached. Jacob immediately jumped up and pushed this big heavy stone off the well, watered her sheep, then burst into tears. He was going through some things.
We don't know if it was love at first sight, but definitely after a month of living with her family, there was something. Her father, his uncle, Laban, approached Jacob and said something along the lines of "hey, you're family, but you shouldn't have to work for free. What kind of wages would you like?" Jacob responded with "I'd like to marry Rachel in exchange for 7 years of work." Laban's answer was "Better you than some other man."
Gee, feel the paternal love.
This is our first hint at Laban's greed. The typical bride price at the time was 30 shekels. A shepherd typically eared around 10 shekels a year. So Jacob was offering more than double the typical bride price for Rachel. Of course Laban jumped on it.
Jacob did something interesting there, in that he named Rachel specifically. He recognized that Laban was tricky and cunning and greedy, possibly seeing the same family traits in his mother, Rebekah (who was Laban's sister) and himself. He knew that if he was vague, Laban would take advantage of it.
The Bible says of that time that "seven years seemed like only a few days." Rachel and Jacob were waiting eagerly to get married, probably exchanging glances, taking walks, getting to know each other, becoming very close. Leah was watching the whole time, waiting for her own suitor to appear, possibly growing to care for Jacob in her own way, too. Maybe she even fall in love with him a little. We don't know.
Don't you wish the Bible was a little more descriptive with certain things?
At the end of the seven years, Jacob went to Laban and said "Give me my wife so I can have sex with her." No subtlety there. Anyone see Jacob's mistake? He didn't say Rachel.
Laban gave a wedding feast, and according to the book, there's never a feast for no reason in the Bible. It always indicates a plot twist. This time was no exception. Laban decided to swap out the originally asked for Rachel for Leah, her older sister.
As a kid, I always kind of wondered just how dumb Jacob had to be not to notice the difference. There were so many times I thought "surely he'd have noticed..." and yet he never did. Was he just blinded by God for some reason? It turns out, he wasn't that dumb.
Apparently, the wedding feast was always all about the groom, so the bride not being present wasn't a big deal. There was always a lot of drinking. His tent was to be unlit. The bride was covered in a thick, heavy veil that covered her face and most of her body until after the consummation (which how does THAT work exactly? Not exactly a romantic wedding night I wouldn't think). And she was to be presented in utter silence.
So Jacob wasn't just a drunken idiot. He had no reason to think there was anything hinky going on. He trusted Laban, a man he had lived with and worked for for seven years. This was his uncle, not some random guy he'd met somewhere.
So here we come back to Leah. She was almost definitely forced by her father. I don't think anyone thinks it was her idea. But how willing a participant was she? Did she resist at all? Did she cry over the fact that she was stealing her sister's husband? Or did she smile as she put on her sister's wedding clothes? Was she giddy about marrying her handsome cousin? Was this Laban's plan from the beginning or did it come to him somewhere along the way?
Whatever the case, she knew when she entered that tent, when she lay down with him, that she was not what he was expecting. And she still went along with it. It seems unlikely that she would have done this if there wasn't at least SOME kind of feelings for Jacob, but maybe she would have. Personally, I feel like she must have, but that's mostly because the alternative is truly heartbreaking.
Lessons to take away from this chapter:
1. When we compare ourselves to others, we're seeing their highlights and comparing them to our blooper reels. This has become a popular meme on facebook and twitter, but it's so true. We don't know the struggles and truth that others are dealing with, even when we have friends who are nakedly honest with us. There's always some secret struggle we don't know about. And as awful as we may think our lives are, others may look at them and think they are ideal.
2. We should put our trust in God, not other men. Look how well trusting Laban worked out for Jacob. (It actually turned out pretty ok, so this is kind of a weird one.)
3. Actions speak louder than words. Laban spoke like someone you could trust but given any kind of wiggle room was only too willing to double cross.
Discussion questions we talked about were:
1. Men are defined by their actions and women are defined by their appearance. How do you describe yourself? If you were to describe a friend to someone who had never met them, how would you do it?
2. Which sister, Leah or Rachel, do you have more sympathy for?
3. Was Leah "slightly" bad, or did she have no choice?
The second chapter was title Leah the Unloved.
When Jacob woke up the day after his wedding, he found Leah in his bed and immediately went to Laban. We don't know if she was awake, if they talked at all, nothing. He just went to her dad and confronted him. One translation used the word "raged." Maybe he was angry, not just because he had been tricked, but also because he was realizing this was an all too familiar situation.
Wearing someone else's clothes, taking a sibling's place, tricking a man in the dark to take something that can't be taken back....what does that sound like? Oh right. Rebekah and Jacob tricking Isaac into giving him Esau's blessing.
Told you this family was tricky.
Jacob asked Laban why and Laban came back with a lame excuse of "oh well, the older daughter has to get married first." Jacob has been there for seven years. You would think he'd know this, and possibly have wondered about unmarried Leah, so maybe that wasn't really a thing? Either way, Laban immediately says "finish this daughter's bridal week, then we will give you the younger one." No names. No romance. No caring for his daughter's feelings. He just wants seven more years from Jacob.
I'd like to kick Laban. And Jacob, since he agreed to it.
Can you imagine what kind of a bridal week Leah had, knowing that at the end of this, her husband was going to go shack up in a tent across the way for a week with her sister? And for Rachel, having to live in the camp for that week, waiting her turn? Super super gross. Just icky all around.
At the end of that week, Rachel didn't get a wedding. She just got Jacob. And all his love. Some translations read "Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah" but it might be more accurate to say "rather than." No one thinks there was any kind of physical abuse, but there was definitely emotional neglect, which is bad, too.
Poor Leah. She is described as "unloved," "hated," and "despised." Holy crap. Her husband hated her for not being Rachel. Rachel hated her for taking her place. Her father, Laban, hated her for being manipulated by him, because he's a real jerk and a kick might be too nice. Everyone hated Leah.
Except God. God loved Leah.
He saw her pain and saw that she was unloved and "opened her womb." We don't know how long they were married before she got pregnant, but surely she was eager. Having babies was the mark of a worthy woman. A woman without children was basically nothing. So Leah was definitely wanting babies. And boy howdy.
Her first child was a son, Reuben, which translates to literally "Look! A son!" Her first recorded words in the Bible are "The Lord has seen my misery." After Reuben was born, she said "Surely my husband will love me now." According to the book, the first words spoken by someone in the Bible are indicative of who they are. And hers are about misery.
Her second child was another son, Simeon, which translates to "One who hears." She says "The Lord heard I am not loved."
Another son, Levi, followed. Levi means to cleave and she said "Now at last my husband will become attached."
Baby four was yet another son, Judah, which means "Praise." This time she said "This time I will praise the Lord."
The first time the phrase "Praise the Lord" is used in the Bible it is by an unloved woman.
Judah is where Jesus genealogy goes through. God took the unloved, unwanted, unseen woman, and used her as a mother of Jesus. Not the adored, beautiful, wonderful Rachel.
Who, at this point, has no children.
Leah has decided that four boys is probably enough, so she decides she's not having any more kids. She gives Jacob her slave girl and through her, has two more sons, Gad (lucky) and Asher (happy). At some point, one of her sons brings home some mandrake roots and they were supposed to be good for fertility or something, so Rachel bargains her night with Jacob for the roots. I'm guessing it had been a few years, since Leah had a son old enough to go off foraging, so she agreed. And that night she conceived Issachar, which means "God has rewarded me for giving my slave to my husband." These names are kinda weird.
Leah wasn't done, though. Later came a sixth son of her body, Zebulun, which means "fine gift." And this is the saddest part of her story to me. She said "Now surely Jacob will accept me."
After probably a dozen years of marriage and SIX SONS she's stopped hoping for love and is now hoping for acceptance.
I kinda want to kick Jacob now.
She has a seventh child, Dinah, and there's nothing written about what Leah said. I had to look up what her name means, vengeance. I don't know if that's foreshadowing for her own heartbreaking story or kind of a middle finger to Jacob. I'd prefer to think the latter since I'm in an "I don't like Jacob" mood.
Even after six strong, healthy sons, Jacob still didn't love Leah. But God did. He saw her as a daughter who needed mercy, as a wife who needed love, and as a mother who needed a reason to sing. He gave her a bounty of sons.
I think Jacob did at least grow to respect her somewhat, because she was buried in the cave with his ancestors Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, and Rebekah, and where he himself was buried. But that may have been because she was the first wife. At the time, if a man had multiple wives, the less favored wife's children were given the benefits of the firstborn, even if they weren't firstborn. Leah's were first through sixth, so there was no doubt there. Rachel, favored, beloved, desired, died giving birth to her second child, Benjamin, and was buried on the side of the road. Oh how the mighty have fallen.
Reading this gives a little insight into maybe additional reasons why Joseph's older brothers tossed him down a well and then sold him into slavery. Not only was he the favorite child, his mother was the favorite wife while the rest of their mothers were second class citizens or less, desperate for scraps of Jacob's affections and attentions. It's hard enough with four children and one husband, I can't imagine four wives and thirteen children (we assume...most daughters were never named and Dinah may have only been mentioned because of her story later on.)
Lessons to ponder:
1. Leah didn't whine, even though she had reason. She didn't complain, she wasn't irritable or demanding, she didn't become bitter. She didn't lord over her younger sister that she had baby boy after baby boy after baby boy while Rachel's arms were empty. Leah endured poor treatment and neglect with hope and faith.
2. Naming was important. Choose wisely. Some of the names people are giving their kids these days are nuts, but if the meaning has significance for you, go for it. Issachar, amiright?
3. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. How would you describe Leah now? Would you mention her dull eyes or talk about her strength of character?
4. One sin won't cut you off from God's love and grace. Jacob had way more than one sin and he was one of the father's of God's chosen people. And he was kind of a terrible person. So there's that.
Questions we talked about:
1. What's worse, Jacob discovering the swap the morning after or Leah realizing her husband hated, despised, and rejected her the morning after? (Personally, there's no debate: Leah all the way. He gets over it, I don't think she ever did.)
2. Was Leah merely tolerated or do you think Jacob's emotions might have changed towards her? Yes, there were seven babies, but it was his husbandly duties towards her. It wasn't necessarily out of any affection. I choose to believe he did develop some kind of positive feelings towards her because the alternative is awful. I want him to have some redeeming qualities.
3. Does God knowing your heart and intimate details of your life encourage you or make you uncomfortable?
I definitely came away with a better appreciation of Leah and a lesser opinion of Jacob. Maybe I should study him sometime to like him again...lol
Monday, September 24, 2018
There and Back Again
It has been an exhausting 24 hours. And has proved to me that I'd be a terrible single parent so Austin better not die or leave me anytime soon. Kudos to you single parents, you're awesome. You deserve the beverage and treat of your choice EVERY DAY.
Eden't first appointment with the eye surgeon was today in Dallas. Which meant that she and I had a girls' trip and stayed in a hotel overnight. She was so excited about it. There were promises of hotel pool swimming, room service, and movies. Plus no brothers around to muck things up.
Things started to go downhill almost immediately when I got into Austin's car after church (which ran late due to a guest preacher) and discovered that when he got the oil changed on Saturday, they'd somehow switched it from MPH to KPH. And since I don't do metric, that was alarming to see that I was driving 90 in a 55 zone. I pulled over and called Austin and after another stop and both of us googling and checking the manual, I still couldn't figure out how to change it. It's like that part has been deleted from the menu. So I googled the conversion and stuck to that as close as I could. I made it there and back with no tickets, so I call that a win.
About 60 miles from our destination, just over halfway there, Eden threw up. She'd fallen asleep before we got on 20 and woke up long enough to throw up. She stayed awake while I pulled over at the first station and ran in to get wipes and napkins, saying in a sad voice "I throwed up." Luckily it was mostly on her and her seat so I was able to clean it up fairly quickly. She hadn't eaten lunch so there wasn't more. She fell back asleep about 5 minutes after we got back on the road.
At that point, I swear I'd been driving for 3 days.
We got to the hotel ok, and after checking in, Eden took a bath to clean up from the vomit. She enjoyed splashing around and I tried to find a restaurant with mac and cheese close by because that's what she was demanding. Eventually, we decided to check out the hotel restaurant and were pleased to see they had it, so we sat down. Then she declared she wanted chicken. Whatever, man. Her meal was free, which was good because she ate about 1/3 of her fries and like, 1/2 of a chicken strip before declaring she was full.
It was so humid and cool, I didn't want to swim. I tried telling her it was too cold, that the pool was closed, that her floatie was broken, but she was having none of it. So we put on our suits and got into the water. Which was super cold. She hung on to me because it was deeper than she was comfortable with and her floatie really WOULDN'T air up. I told her only 10 minutes but talked her into going inside after about 6 with promises of ice cream. She decided on a chocolate bar instead and we went upstairs.
Changing BACK into pjs and eating our treats, we tried to find something on tv to watch but the guide wasn't working and the remote was sketchy too. She took it from me and banged it on everything in the room, then declared it fixed. It was not. She decided she needed another bath after eating her chocolate (and she did) so she got it. I had a headache so around 930, we turned everything off and tried to go to sleep.
I say tried because I was successful, but she kept getting up and walking around. She pulled her food out of the fridge and had a little to eat, then put it away and tried to go visit other people. Every noise got a gasp and a "what's that noise?" I have no idea when she fell asleep but she woke up screaming at 4 am because Roby (her robot) was missing. I didn't get up but she apparently found him/her (it changes) because s/he was there in the morning. She laid there for a little while and just as I was about to go back to sleep she started crying and saying she wanted to go home. I told her it was just a little longer, that we'd have pancakes, then see the doctor, then go home. She repeated this a few times, then we both fell asleep again.
I woke up again around 6 with my headache intact so I took a shower and some medicine and started packing up. Eden woke up during this and was eager to get dressed and go get pancakes. Which she then refused to touch because they weren't from the Flipping Egg. And she cried when she dropped her strawberry on the floor but then decided she hates strawberries after taking a bite of mine.
We had time before the appointment so we went back to the room and watched some PBS, which she loved, while I finished packing and loaded up the car.
Austin's car doesn't have gps so I was using maps on my phone. Since I couldn't see it, I kept making wrong turns on the way to the office. Which was frustrating. We still got there about 20 minutes early. And then proceeded to wait until about half an hour past her scheduled appointment time. And then more waiting in the exam room. They decided to dilate her eyes to see if she needs glasses, which seemed odd since they measured her vision at 20/20 and 20/25. I think it's a standard thing, though, so I didn't argue. Thirty minutes of waiting for the dilation, then another fifteen for the glasses check, then waiting again for the surgery scheduler....it all added up to a three hour visit. Eden was honestly good the whole time, but she was getting antsy and I was losing my patience with her. I didn't get a good night's sleep and still had a 3.5 hour drive ahead of me, so her dancing around wasn't amusing to me.
She fell asleep almost immediately in the car and slept the whole way home. I stopped in Arlington for gas and to grab food and was dismayed when I realized Panda Express didn't put a fork in my bag. So I ate orange chicken and rice with my fingers while driving on the highway. Not the best idea, but I didn't make a mess or have any problems. I won't do it again, though.
The general feeling was we don't HAVE to do surgery now, we could continue to patch. Her vision is improving and her eyes are doing fine. She doesn't need glasses and she doesn't object to the patches as much as she used to, but both Austin and I feel like let's just do it already. She's young enough that if we do it now, she likely won't remember, or will only have vague memories of it. So we have a tentative date for the surgery. Because of her heart issues, we have to have the surgery at the main campus, not at the satellite surgery center across the street, so that means cardiac anesthesiologists and the ophthalmic surgeon and everyone else have to coordinate schedules. It's an out patient procedure, though because of her age they'll put her under general anesthesia so we'll be there for a little longer. I'm not sure if they'll want us to stay overnight, but they seemed to think we wouldn't need to. I'll get all those certain details later to help with figuring out everything with the other three for that time. They also said they'd want to see her a week and a month after, but if we can get our local eye doctor to do that, I'd much prefer that. And her local pediatrician will do the pre-op physical about 2 weeks before. I have to wait for a definite surgery date to schedule that. Plus on top of all that, she'll be due her annual cardio appointment in December. In Dallas.
So we're home again, she's in a good mood (ish) and Feta and Rebekah seem to have missed me and we've got more immediate things on the agenda, like Austin and Elijah's birthdays and various other smaller things. We survived the trip. *I* survived the trip.
Eden't first appointment with the eye surgeon was today in Dallas. Which meant that she and I had a girls' trip and stayed in a hotel overnight. She was so excited about it. There were promises of hotel pool swimming, room service, and movies. Plus no brothers around to muck things up.
Things started to go downhill almost immediately when I got into Austin's car after church (which ran late due to a guest preacher) and discovered that when he got the oil changed on Saturday, they'd somehow switched it from MPH to KPH. And since I don't do metric, that was alarming to see that I was driving 90 in a 55 zone. I pulled over and called Austin and after another stop and both of us googling and checking the manual, I still couldn't figure out how to change it. It's like that part has been deleted from the menu. So I googled the conversion and stuck to that as close as I could. I made it there and back with no tickets, so I call that a win.
About 60 miles from our destination, just over halfway there, Eden threw up. She'd fallen asleep before we got on 20 and woke up long enough to throw up. She stayed awake while I pulled over at the first station and ran in to get wipes and napkins, saying in a sad voice "I throwed up." Luckily it was mostly on her and her seat so I was able to clean it up fairly quickly. She hadn't eaten lunch so there wasn't more. She fell back asleep about 5 minutes after we got back on the road.
At that point, I swear I'd been driving for 3 days.
We got to the hotel ok, and after checking in, Eden took a bath to clean up from the vomit. She enjoyed splashing around and I tried to find a restaurant with mac and cheese close by because that's what she was demanding. Eventually, we decided to check out the hotel restaurant and were pleased to see they had it, so we sat down. Then she declared she wanted chicken. Whatever, man. Her meal was free, which was good because she ate about 1/3 of her fries and like, 1/2 of a chicken strip before declaring she was full.
It was so humid and cool, I didn't want to swim. I tried telling her it was too cold, that the pool was closed, that her floatie was broken, but she was having none of it. So we put on our suits and got into the water. Which was super cold. She hung on to me because it was deeper than she was comfortable with and her floatie really WOULDN'T air up. I told her only 10 minutes but talked her into going inside after about 6 with promises of ice cream. She decided on a chocolate bar instead and we went upstairs.
Changing BACK into pjs and eating our treats, we tried to find something on tv to watch but the guide wasn't working and the remote was sketchy too. She took it from me and banged it on everything in the room, then declared it fixed. It was not. She decided she needed another bath after eating her chocolate (and she did) so she got it. I had a headache so around 930, we turned everything off and tried to go to sleep.
I say tried because I was successful, but she kept getting up and walking around. She pulled her food out of the fridge and had a little to eat, then put it away and tried to go visit other people. Every noise got a gasp and a "what's that noise?" I have no idea when she fell asleep but she woke up screaming at 4 am because Roby (her robot) was missing. I didn't get up but she apparently found him/her (it changes) because s/he was there in the morning. She laid there for a little while and just as I was about to go back to sleep she started crying and saying she wanted to go home. I told her it was just a little longer, that we'd have pancakes, then see the doctor, then go home. She repeated this a few times, then we both fell asleep again.
I woke up again around 6 with my headache intact so I took a shower and some medicine and started packing up. Eden woke up during this and was eager to get dressed and go get pancakes. Which she then refused to touch because they weren't from the Flipping Egg. And she cried when she dropped her strawberry on the floor but then decided she hates strawberries after taking a bite of mine.
We had time before the appointment so we went back to the room and watched some PBS, which she loved, while I finished packing and loaded up the car.
Austin's car doesn't have gps so I was using maps on my phone. Since I couldn't see it, I kept making wrong turns on the way to the office. Which was frustrating. We still got there about 20 minutes early. And then proceeded to wait until about half an hour past her scheduled appointment time. And then more waiting in the exam room. They decided to dilate her eyes to see if she needs glasses, which seemed odd since they measured her vision at 20/20 and 20/25. I think it's a standard thing, though, so I didn't argue. Thirty minutes of waiting for the dilation, then another fifteen for the glasses check, then waiting again for the surgery scheduler....it all added up to a three hour visit. Eden was honestly good the whole time, but she was getting antsy and I was losing my patience with her. I didn't get a good night's sleep and still had a 3.5 hour drive ahead of me, so her dancing around wasn't amusing to me.
She fell asleep almost immediately in the car and slept the whole way home. I stopped in Arlington for gas and to grab food and was dismayed when I realized Panda Express didn't put a fork in my bag. So I ate orange chicken and rice with my fingers while driving on the highway. Not the best idea, but I didn't make a mess or have any problems. I won't do it again, though.
The general feeling was we don't HAVE to do surgery now, we could continue to patch. Her vision is improving and her eyes are doing fine. She doesn't need glasses and she doesn't object to the patches as much as she used to, but both Austin and I feel like let's just do it already. She's young enough that if we do it now, she likely won't remember, or will only have vague memories of it. So we have a tentative date for the surgery. Because of her heart issues, we have to have the surgery at the main campus, not at the satellite surgery center across the street, so that means cardiac anesthesiologists and the ophthalmic surgeon and everyone else have to coordinate schedules. It's an out patient procedure, though because of her age they'll put her under general anesthesia so we'll be there for a little longer. I'm not sure if they'll want us to stay overnight, but they seemed to think we wouldn't need to. I'll get all those certain details later to help with figuring out everything with the other three for that time. They also said they'd want to see her a week and a month after, but if we can get our local eye doctor to do that, I'd much prefer that. And her local pediatrician will do the pre-op physical about 2 weeks before. I have to wait for a definite surgery date to schedule that. Plus on top of all that, she'll be due her annual cardio appointment in December. In Dallas.
So we're home again, she's in a good mood (ish) and Feta and Rebekah seem to have missed me and we've got more immediate things on the agenda, like Austin and Elijah's birthdays and various other smaller things. We survived the trip. *I* survived the trip.
Hitting the road Sunday afternoon
Bringing her suitcase in with her. And dragging it upside down.
Playing with her dinner rather than eating it
Eating AND playing with her chocolate bar.
Reading the "story" on her breakfast menu
Waiting at Children's.
In the exam room
In the second waiting room while her eye dilated
Asleep in the car on the way home. It was a long 24 hours for her too.
Shut up, fortune cookie!
Thursday, August 23, 2018
Dragging
Summer of 2018 is dragging itself to a close and I, for one, could not be more ready.
We definitely have had a lazy summer this year. Asher had two weeks of Threshold and a week of AISD technology camp, all of which he enjoyed, and the littles had 7 weeks of one day a week MDO and Elijah had two days of art camp at the Grace, which they all enjoyed. All told, the longest amount of time I had to myself during the day for any appointments or just breathing room was maybe 2-3 hours three times, and it was always on a Wednesday when the house was cleaned. So basically never.
There are some women who are just meant to be moms. They're great with kids, they come up with interesting and fun activities for their children, they keep art supplies on hand. They're not overwhelmed by the prospect of taking a car full of children anywhere. Those moms are fantastic. I'm not one of them. I don't like taking my kids to the grocery store. So we stayed home and did a lot of nothing all summer.
I don't regret that. They will have years and years of constant activity once they're adults. It'll start before that, I'm sure, as summer jobs become a thing, as they get interested in activities that require their attention in the summer, as they get more friends and more independence. I call myself a free range parent and this summer, they were free to range this big, new house we've got. Did we have lots of screen time? Yes. Did we also play in the water and have movie/pizza nights on a regular basis and go see movies in theaters? Also yes. We did educational stuff and art stuff and semi-athletic stuff and it was all great. I hope the kids will tell teachers this fall they had a good summer. And if not, they've all got tons more ahead of them.
I've been helping the boys' new school get set up and organized, since they had tubs and tubs of art supplies that needed organizing. I spent hours at the school sorting and throwing away and putting in containers. It was hot sweaty work but also kind of nice because I got to be alone for it.
We couldn't really afford to take a vacation this year because of the move, and we are ok with that. It's been a priority to me that we at least take some time to be together as a family every year, so this year we planned it for what we thought would be the last week of summer before school started. Then the first day of school got pushed back a few days so it was the second to last week. We didn't even consider changing, because why would we, and that turned out to be a huge thing.
We started our "staycation" with a murder mystery party for the adults and a babysitter for the kids. The next day we rented an inflatable water slide for a few hours and invited our friends to come play. That was tons of fun until the bees showed up. Luckily, no one buy Austin got stung, and he only got stung once. Rain kind of pooh-poohed our activities for Sunday and Monday, but Tuesday we went to the zoo, Wednesday was the "new" water park, Adventure Cove, Thursday was the trampoline park, and Friday was the new splash pad at Sears Park. Saturday we capped it all off with a movie at the Paramount and a birthday party at the Grace. One big activity a day, one meal out a day, lots of downtime to hang out with each other. That seems to be the perfect recipe for a Mullins Family Vacation.
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine went into the hospital for pregnancy complications. I won't go into details, because it's not my story to share, but she was there for two and a half weeks. I went several evenings and just sat and kept her company, working on my "travel" cross-stitch while we chatted with HGTV in the background. She was cleared to go home the Monday of our staycation, which I was thrilled for her and also pleased that our staycation could proceed for just us. I absolutely will be there for my friends when they need me, but I was looking forward to time with my family, too.
Then Thursday I got a heartbreaking text. I was stunned as I drove up to the hospital to sit and wait, hoping against hope that I'd read it wrong, that this was some kind of horrible, sick joke. And it wasn't. Baby Colt had been delivered early in an attempt to save his life and hadn't made it.
Because Austin was already home and off the next two days, I was able to be there in the hospital with her, holding and loving on that sweet, perfect baby. I cried with her, snuggled him, kissed his sweet head, and grieved for this child who everyone fought so hard for. I was there most of Thursday, leaving for a little while so Austin could take the bigs to the trampoline park they'd been promised. And I went back Friday at some point (I really can't remember when I was there, I think afternoon/early evening?) though we did take the kids to the splash pad and had dinner at home. It all blurs together after a while. I took her clothes to wear home on Saturday and walked with her to her car, pushing the cart of her belongings and fighting not to cry as we walked out without a baby. I held it together until we walked away from the entrance of the hospital and then I broke down. I may have startled some people walking past me.
I'm not even going to pretend that I understand what she's going through. I lost my dad, yes, but he was nearly 65. He had lived a full life. I feel like he was way too young, but he at least lived. Colt never got that chance. Its different grieving for a life not lived.
This pain will be part of her for the rest of her life. In a much much lesser way, it will mine, too. We had so many plans for this sweet boy. I was going to keep him a few hours a week while she worked until he was old enough for MDO, and I was looking forward to that. I absolutely am done expanding my family, but that doesn't mean I don't love holding new babies and snuggling their sweet necks and kissing their downy heads. We were talking about where different baby things were going to be, how long he'd be here, what days I'd have him.
I've been sitting with her some evenings since she went home because none of us want her to be alone, and she doesn't really, either. Sometimes she's on the phone and I pull mine out and read either a book or articles online or scroll through facebook. After the last couple of weeks where my kids have made choices that may have resulted in them being sold for magic beans, it was nice to be somewhere quiet where nothing was getting broken and no one was tattling or peeing on the floor.
I've still got the last little bit of organizing to do, and school is starting Monday so we're trying to get to a school schedule around here, and Rebekah is at the age where she likes to check in on me periodically to make sure I haven't vanished, so the days are hard sometimes, but the evenings are for her for as long as she needs me. This is a horrific season of her life and if I can be there, I will. My kids have their dad around to keep things running around here, doling out discipline as needed, playing with them, keeping them alive. She has empty arms.
I'm not trying to make myself out to be some amazing friend or person. I debated even writing much about her. But if you see me in the next few days or weeks and I seem tired or sad or I start crying randomly, this is why. I'm missing a sweet perfect baby with the best head of hair I've ever seen on a baby and I'm aching for my friend. I hate that this happened and I hate that I can't fix it and I hate this reality.
Jesus, fix it.
We definitely have had a lazy summer this year. Asher had two weeks of Threshold and a week of AISD technology camp, all of which he enjoyed, and the littles had 7 weeks of one day a week MDO and Elijah had two days of art camp at the Grace, which they all enjoyed. All told, the longest amount of time I had to myself during the day for any appointments or just breathing room was maybe 2-3 hours three times, and it was always on a Wednesday when the house was cleaned. So basically never.
There are some women who are just meant to be moms. They're great with kids, they come up with interesting and fun activities for their children, they keep art supplies on hand. They're not overwhelmed by the prospect of taking a car full of children anywhere. Those moms are fantastic. I'm not one of them. I don't like taking my kids to the grocery store. So we stayed home and did a lot of nothing all summer.
I don't regret that. They will have years and years of constant activity once they're adults. It'll start before that, I'm sure, as summer jobs become a thing, as they get interested in activities that require their attention in the summer, as they get more friends and more independence. I call myself a free range parent and this summer, they were free to range this big, new house we've got. Did we have lots of screen time? Yes. Did we also play in the water and have movie/pizza nights on a regular basis and go see movies in theaters? Also yes. We did educational stuff and art stuff and semi-athletic stuff and it was all great. I hope the kids will tell teachers this fall they had a good summer. And if not, they've all got tons more ahead of them.
I've been helping the boys' new school get set up and organized, since they had tubs and tubs of art supplies that needed organizing. I spent hours at the school sorting and throwing away and putting in containers. It was hot sweaty work but also kind of nice because I got to be alone for it.
We couldn't really afford to take a vacation this year because of the move, and we are ok with that. It's been a priority to me that we at least take some time to be together as a family every year, so this year we planned it for what we thought would be the last week of summer before school started. Then the first day of school got pushed back a few days so it was the second to last week. We didn't even consider changing, because why would we, and that turned out to be a huge thing.
We started our "staycation" with a murder mystery party for the adults and a babysitter for the kids. The next day we rented an inflatable water slide for a few hours and invited our friends to come play. That was tons of fun until the bees showed up. Luckily, no one buy Austin got stung, and he only got stung once. Rain kind of pooh-poohed our activities for Sunday and Monday, but Tuesday we went to the zoo, Wednesday was the "new" water park, Adventure Cove, Thursday was the trampoline park, and Friday was the new splash pad at Sears Park. Saturday we capped it all off with a movie at the Paramount and a birthday party at the Grace. One big activity a day, one meal out a day, lots of downtime to hang out with each other. That seems to be the perfect recipe for a Mullins Family Vacation.
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine went into the hospital for pregnancy complications. I won't go into details, because it's not my story to share, but she was there for two and a half weeks. I went several evenings and just sat and kept her company, working on my "travel" cross-stitch while we chatted with HGTV in the background. She was cleared to go home the Monday of our staycation, which I was thrilled for her and also pleased that our staycation could proceed for just us. I absolutely will be there for my friends when they need me, but I was looking forward to time with my family, too.
Then Thursday I got a heartbreaking text. I was stunned as I drove up to the hospital to sit and wait, hoping against hope that I'd read it wrong, that this was some kind of horrible, sick joke. And it wasn't. Baby Colt had been delivered early in an attempt to save his life and hadn't made it.
Because Austin was already home and off the next two days, I was able to be there in the hospital with her, holding and loving on that sweet, perfect baby. I cried with her, snuggled him, kissed his sweet head, and grieved for this child who everyone fought so hard for. I was there most of Thursday, leaving for a little while so Austin could take the bigs to the trampoline park they'd been promised. And I went back Friday at some point (I really can't remember when I was there, I think afternoon/early evening?) though we did take the kids to the splash pad and had dinner at home. It all blurs together after a while. I took her clothes to wear home on Saturday and walked with her to her car, pushing the cart of her belongings and fighting not to cry as we walked out without a baby. I held it together until we walked away from the entrance of the hospital and then I broke down. I may have startled some people walking past me.
I'm not even going to pretend that I understand what she's going through. I lost my dad, yes, but he was nearly 65. He had lived a full life. I feel like he was way too young, but he at least lived. Colt never got that chance. Its different grieving for a life not lived.
This pain will be part of her for the rest of her life. In a much much lesser way, it will mine, too. We had so many plans for this sweet boy. I was going to keep him a few hours a week while she worked until he was old enough for MDO, and I was looking forward to that. I absolutely am done expanding my family, but that doesn't mean I don't love holding new babies and snuggling their sweet necks and kissing their downy heads. We were talking about where different baby things were going to be, how long he'd be here, what days I'd have him.
I've been sitting with her some evenings since she went home because none of us want her to be alone, and she doesn't really, either. Sometimes she's on the phone and I pull mine out and read either a book or articles online or scroll through facebook. After the last couple of weeks where my kids have made choices that may have resulted in them being sold for magic beans, it was nice to be somewhere quiet where nothing was getting broken and no one was tattling or peeing on the floor.
I've still got the last little bit of organizing to do, and school is starting Monday so we're trying to get to a school schedule around here, and Rebekah is at the age where she likes to check in on me periodically to make sure I haven't vanished, so the days are hard sometimes, but the evenings are for her for as long as she needs me. This is a horrific season of her life and if I can be there, I will. My kids have their dad around to keep things running around here, doling out discipline as needed, playing with them, keeping them alive. She has empty arms.
I'm not trying to make myself out to be some amazing friend or person. I debated even writing much about her. But if you see me in the next few days or weeks and I seem tired or sad or I start crying randomly, this is why. I'm missing a sweet perfect baby with the best head of hair I've ever seen on a baby and I'm aching for my friend. I hate that this happened and I hate that I can't fix it and I hate this reality.
Jesus, fix it.
Friday, July 27, 2018
Summer Sloth
It's been a minute. At the same time, we've been busy and lazy. Plus I've had some computer issues. It's been a relatively ok summer thus far.
We're settled into the house. We were 95% unpacked after two weeks, which is amazing. There are areas that I'm just now getting around to finishing up, but it's nearly all cosmetic and functional at this point. Now that we've lived here for two months, we have a better idea of what will work for us in different areas of the house. There's still lots of blank walls in the kids' rooms but I've decided to let that be for the most part so that as they grow up and figure out what they like, we can decorate to their tastes. The way Elijah is going, he'll be Mario for life, so that may not change much. The girls are still deciding who they are so not having much decor in their rooms is ok for now.
I think I've finally figured out a lay out for the sitting room that works for me. I've moved shelves and changed out curtains and rearranged things a few times and now I feel like I've got it. I've taken things out of cardboard boxes and invested in clear plastic tubs to store my craft stuff in and I'm loving that. I want to eventually get a second armchair in there so that if I have company and we want to retreat from the rest of the family to watch a movie or chat, we can both sit comfortably. The library works for that function currently, but the sitting room is much more private.
We got our first electric bill and whoa. We knew coming in we needed to invest about $1000 in some insulation to help the units Mom installed in December function better, but we didn't prioritize it. We may need to. On the upside, our winter heating bills should be much better since it's a gas heater. The gas bill is next to nothing currently.
The Mulberry house is being rented out for the next year, which is a huge relief for us. We're excited to have these renters in place and look forward to the next year with them. I've seen a couple of the things they're doing and it looks great.
Elijah is ready for kindergarten, though he will tell you he's not that excited about it. I suspect he'll get more excited the closer we get and when he really truly realizes his best friend from MDO is there. He and this boy yell across the parking lot "I love you! Bye!" about 57 times every pick up. Hopefully they still feel that way after spending all day every day together next school year.
Asher has spent the summer doing semi-educational stuff. He went to AISD's technology camp that was some kind of Lego animation thing and enjoyed that and then spent two weeks at Threshold where he learned about Ancient Egypt. This camp is so cool, I wish I'd gone when I was a kid. The first week they wrote a presentation about something to do with Ancient Egypt (Asher chose the Sphinx) and the second week they had to create their own ancient civilization. Asher's was vegetarian thespian traders. He doesn't like to admit it, but I think he really enjoys it.
He's been arguing hard to go back to the charter school instead of Moore House, but I can't get a straight answer why out of him. I think he feels like TLCA would be up to the challenge of him since Moore House was. I've tried explaining to him the reasons why we chose Moore House for 2nd grade and I don't think it's computing. For such a smart kid, sometimes he does things that remind us that yes, he definitely IS a child.
Eden is doing really well with her eye patch and her newest venture, potty training. Well, at least with her eye patch. Potty training has its ups and downs. I'm glad we have about 2 dozen pairs of panties because I wash them frequently. Every trip to the bathroom warrants a new pair, even if the old pair is still clean.
We have an appointment with the surgeon in Dallas on September 24, a Monday, in the morning, so she and I will get to take a girls' trip to Dallas on that Sunday. I'm hoping she'll enjoy the hotel and room service. I'll have to double check on their pool situation, but she would probably be super excited to go swimming with just me. Hopefully on that trip, the doctor will be able to give us a time frame for surgery. In the meantime, we continue to patch 14 hours a week, though some weeks we're more on it than others. She'll wear it for 10 hours in a day some days and others she won't wear it for more than 5 minutes. It just depends on her mood.
Rebekah is finally walking! She took her first few steps in late June at MDO and refused to walk for or to me for the next week and a half. Then one day she just stood up and started stomping around and hasn't looked back. She's so proud of herself, too. She can get farther faster and take things with her much more easily. Her siblings aren't as thrilled with that last bit. Neither am I, to be honest. I have to turn my nightstand towards the bed or she'll raid it and carry things around the upstairs.
She still avoids the stairs, but will stand at the top or bottom and yell at whoever is on the other side until they come get her. She doesn't like to be alone (fourth child problem) but tolerates it much better if she's alone upstairs where all the toys are.
We can't really afford a vacation away this year, so we're doing a "staycation" which I've managed to get everyone excited about. We're going to see Abilene and do things around here we haven't in a while or ever. Splash pads and movies and video games are the highlights of the week for just about everyone. I had the boys describe their perfect days and when we relayed them to Austin, he said those were his perfect days, too. They were mostly eating and playing video games, which surprises no one. I've yet to sit down and actually give it a little more detail, but I intend to do that this weekend.
Church has been an interesting change for us. The weekend we moved, the church went to two services instead of one, and it seems to be working fairly well for the church as a whole. For us, it just....wasn't. Before, Austin would be able to help me get the kids dressed and to the church, where he would then go to practice and I would take them to eat at the coffee shop ministry we have called Holy Grounds. I'd have time to feed them, then deliver them to the Children's Building before Sunday school. Now, Austin has to be at the church about 30-45 minutes before we do, so I'm on my own to get them up and dressed and for whatever reason, we just. can't. do it. We tried for a month and I was almost always 15-20 or even 30 minutes late to the service, which is about a 45 minute service. At that point, what the point of trying for service? Then we had the discussion of whether or not it was worth getting everyone up and out for just Sunday school. The kids weren't enjoying Sunday school for whatever reason (I could never get a straight answer out of them) so we just decided not to try for the rest of the summer. Maybe in the fall, once we're back into a routine, we'll try again. It may go better then. Summer heat and laziness have just taken their toll on me for sure. I've missed Sunday school and seeing people for sure, but I've also really enjoyed getting to sleep in on Sundays. Not that I can't other days of the week when the kids let me, but there's something about a Sunday that just makes me want to sleep all day.
There are lots of things ahead of us: Eden's eye surgery, Elijah starting kindergarten, helping out a friend, parties, trips, school shopping, and more. We're keeping cool in the heat by staying in and counting down until school starts. 26 days, y'all.
We're settled into the house. We were 95% unpacked after two weeks, which is amazing. There are areas that I'm just now getting around to finishing up, but it's nearly all cosmetic and functional at this point. Now that we've lived here for two months, we have a better idea of what will work for us in different areas of the house. There's still lots of blank walls in the kids' rooms but I've decided to let that be for the most part so that as they grow up and figure out what they like, we can decorate to their tastes. The way Elijah is going, he'll be Mario for life, so that may not change much. The girls are still deciding who they are so not having much decor in their rooms is ok for now.
I think I've finally figured out a lay out for the sitting room that works for me. I've moved shelves and changed out curtains and rearranged things a few times and now I feel like I've got it. I've taken things out of cardboard boxes and invested in clear plastic tubs to store my craft stuff in and I'm loving that. I want to eventually get a second armchair in there so that if I have company and we want to retreat from the rest of the family to watch a movie or chat, we can both sit comfortably. The library works for that function currently, but the sitting room is much more private.
We got our first electric bill and whoa. We knew coming in we needed to invest about $1000 in some insulation to help the units Mom installed in December function better, but we didn't prioritize it. We may need to. On the upside, our winter heating bills should be much better since it's a gas heater. The gas bill is next to nothing currently.
The Mulberry house is being rented out for the next year, which is a huge relief for us. We're excited to have these renters in place and look forward to the next year with them. I've seen a couple of the things they're doing and it looks great.
Elijah is ready for kindergarten, though he will tell you he's not that excited about it. I suspect he'll get more excited the closer we get and when he really truly realizes his best friend from MDO is there. He and this boy yell across the parking lot "I love you! Bye!" about 57 times every pick up. Hopefully they still feel that way after spending all day every day together next school year.
Asher has spent the summer doing semi-educational stuff. He went to AISD's technology camp that was some kind of Lego animation thing and enjoyed that and then spent two weeks at Threshold where he learned about Ancient Egypt. This camp is so cool, I wish I'd gone when I was a kid. The first week they wrote a presentation about something to do with Ancient Egypt (Asher chose the Sphinx) and the second week they had to create their own ancient civilization. Asher's was vegetarian thespian traders. He doesn't like to admit it, but I think he really enjoys it.
He's been arguing hard to go back to the charter school instead of Moore House, but I can't get a straight answer why out of him. I think he feels like TLCA would be up to the challenge of him since Moore House was. I've tried explaining to him the reasons why we chose Moore House for 2nd grade and I don't think it's computing. For such a smart kid, sometimes he does things that remind us that yes, he definitely IS a child.
Eden is doing really well with her eye patch and her newest venture, potty training. Well, at least with her eye patch. Potty training has its ups and downs. I'm glad we have about 2 dozen pairs of panties because I wash them frequently. Every trip to the bathroom warrants a new pair, even if the old pair is still clean.
We have an appointment with the surgeon in Dallas on September 24, a Monday, in the morning, so she and I will get to take a girls' trip to Dallas on that Sunday. I'm hoping she'll enjoy the hotel and room service. I'll have to double check on their pool situation, but she would probably be super excited to go swimming with just me. Hopefully on that trip, the doctor will be able to give us a time frame for surgery. In the meantime, we continue to patch 14 hours a week, though some weeks we're more on it than others. She'll wear it for 10 hours in a day some days and others she won't wear it for more than 5 minutes. It just depends on her mood.
Rebekah is finally walking! She took her first few steps in late June at MDO and refused to walk for or to me for the next week and a half. Then one day she just stood up and started stomping around and hasn't looked back. She's so proud of herself, too. She can get farther faster and take things with her much more easily. Her siblings aren't as thrilled with that last bit. Neither am I, to be honest. I have to turn my nightstand towards the bed or she'll raid it and carry things around the upstairs.
She still avoids the stairs, but will stand at the top or bottom and yell at whoever is on the other side until they come get her. She doesn't like to be alone (fourth child problem) but tolerates it much better if she's alone upstairs where all the toys are.
We can't really afford a vacation away this year, so we're doing a "staycation" which I've managed to get everyone excited about. We're going to see Abilene and do things around here we haven't in a while or ever. Splash pads and movies and video games are the highlights of the week for just about everyone. I had the boys describe their perfect days and when we relayed them to Austin, he said those were his perfect days, too. They were mostly eating and playing video games, which surprises no one. I've yet to sit down and actually give it a little more detail, but I intend to do that this weekend.
Church has been an interesting change for us. The weekend we moved, the church went to two services instead of one, and it seems to be working fairly well for the church as a whole. For us, it just....wasn't. Before, Austin would be able to help me get the kids dressed and to the church, where he would then go to practice and I would take them to eat at the coffee shop ministry we have called Holy Grounds. I'd have time to feed them, then deliver them to the Children's Building before Sunday school. Now, Austin has to be at the church about 30-45 minutes before we do, so I'm on my own to get them up and dressed and for whatever reason, we just. can't. do it. We tried for a month and I was almost always 15-20 or even 30 minutes late to the service, which is about a 45 minute service. At that point, what the point of trying for service? Then we had the discussion of whether or not it was worth getting everyone up and out for just Sunday school. The kids weren't enjoying Sunday school for whatever reason (I could never get a straight answer out of them) so we just decided not to try for the rest of the summer. Maybe in the fall, once we're back into a routine, we'll try again. It may go better then. Summer heat and laziness have just taken their toll on me for sure. I've missed Sunday school and seeing people for sure, but I've also really enjoyed getting to sleep in on Sundays. Not that I can't other days of the week when the kids let me, but there's something about a Sunday that just makes me want to sleep all day.
There are lots of things ahead of us: Eden's eye surgery, Elijah starting kindergarten, helping out a friend, parties, trips, school shopping, and more. We're keeping cool in the heat by staying in and counting down until school starts. 26 days, y'all.
Monday, May 28, 2018
Home Again
I've been meaning to write a blog post for a while now, but things have been busy.
First off, Eden's still waiting for an appointment with an eye surgeon in Dallas. She's doing well with her eye patch wearing, though she still resists it quite a bit. We're bribing her with water color painting and tv shows.
We moved into the Orange street house on May 18, so we've been here for ten days now. We got everything into the house in 2.5 trips and about 6 hours. We got the kids' rooms set up as much as we could that night, though of course a lot more work was done over the next few days. Our bedroom took a while because Austin couldn't find the bolts to put the bed together, resulting in our being up until about 11pm while he searched for, located, and assembled our bed. That doesn't seem TOO late but I'd been awake since 5am and we'd moved so I was exhausted. My body definitely didn't appreciate it and I was sickish for the next several days. I'm still recovering.
In spite of all that, though, I'd say we're about 95% done unpacking. There are filled boxes in the garage, sure, but those are things in long term storage. We're passing along our empty boxes and once we've got those down to a manageable number, we'll (I'll) work on organizing the storage areas a little better. There are still things around that need a permanent home, but we'll figure that out as we go. We've turned the dining room into a temporary gathering place for everything that's left, just to help me keep my sanity. After two months of living surrounded by boxes, I'm really glad to have the majority of the boxes confined to one room, and it's a room I can avoid easily.
The kitchen is unpacked and usable. We've cooked quite a few meals, though we've also ordered in and picked up a few times because hey, we just moved and we're still unpacking and we're tired.
The last room started was the first room finished. The library has books on the shelves or in the cabinets, art on the walls (made by me), comfy chairs for reading, and a desk chair at the desk. Not all the books would fit because of course not, but each kid has shelves in their room with books on them and my Book of the Month books are in my sitting room. Of course those shelves are almost full with the ones I've already got so that's definitely not a long term solution. I'll likely be donating more of the books Mom left behind (there's already about 11 boxes of books she left that we're not keeping) to make space for our books. We'll need to get a library ladder because we can't reach the top two shelves without one, and even then it's tricky. Needless to say, the books we don't use much (or ever) are up there.
I'm absolutely loving how some of the rooms look, namely the girls' rooms and the library. I'm taking pictures as we go and I'll eventually post some before and afters. I'm just waiting until rooms are done before I take pictures of them, and since only a couple of rooms are actually completely done (or as done as they're going to get for now) that's slow going. The family dining room is done but my kids are super messy eaters so I'd have to clean and sweep to get a decent picture. Maybe after the next time the house is cleaned I'll snap a picture before the kids come in. It doesn't look all that different from how Mom had it, it's just got our stuff in it.
Mom and I went on Friday and did the official signing and transfer of Orange street, so the Caldwell House is officially, legally mine. I did have to pay for it, but it was a reasonable amount. I don't even have to sell a kid. The last step to get Mom free of this house is June 1 when the bills go into our name instead of hers.
It's interesting to live in my childhood home as the parent. Walking into the rooms, they're so different because of paint and use, I kind of feel like I'm living in two worlds at once. I can see how the rooms were when I was a kid and how they are now. I can remember the things that happened in those rooms and imagine the things that will happen in the years to come. Eden is in my childhood bedroom and Asher is in Caleb's room. Rebekah is in what was Dad's office and Elijah is in the craft room. Austin's office is the music room where I spent hours practicing the piano as a kid and once in a while when I'm in there, I remember Dad making faces at me through the double glass doors. I'm remembering the quirks of the house and learning new ones.
The kids seem to love being here. The only complaint I've heard is from Elijah who said this house is so big. He still likes being here. He's torn between wanting to still be in the Mulberry house and being here where there's so much more space and he's got his own big room. Asher is enjoying having his own room, his only complaint has been that it's "small" which is silly because it's a large room. Though in his defense, it is the smallest bedroom in the house. That's what he gets for having a bedroom on the first floor away from everyone else.
Rebekah mostly stays away from the stairs, though she likes to pull up at the top of the stairs and give me a big grin as she bounces. She's very cautious, though, carefully sitting down and backing up. I'll eventually get around to bringing a gate upstairs to put at the top when we're all upstairs relaxing and she's roaming free. She's loving having so much space to explore. She was let loose in the downstairs on Thursday while I did some unpacking in the dining room and she managed to find a paperclip, two screws, and two plastic pegs from a game. She was very unhappy when I fished them out of her mouth. If you want to find things that shouldn't be on the floor, get a baby and she'll find them for you.
So things are going well as far as the move goes. There's a few little tweaks that need to be done. Austin's still unpacking because he hasn't been home as much as I have plus he's been doing things for me around the house, like hanging things up and taking empty boxes out to the garage. When he gets done with the things I've asked him to do, he's usually tired and ready to sit and do nothing for a while.
Elijah asked me last week how long we'd have boxes all over our house. I told him to give me two weeks. I feel like I can safely say that after 10 days, we're pretty much out of boxes. This is my superpower.
First off, Eden's still waiting for an appointment with an eye surgeon in Dallas. She's doing well with her eye patch wearing, though she still resists it quite a bit. We're bribing her with water color painting and tv shows.
We moved into the Orange street house on May 18, so we've been here for ten days now. We got everything into the house in 2.5 trips and about 6 hours. We got the kids' rooms set up as much as we could that night, though of course a lot more work was done over the next few days. Our bedroom took a while because Austin couldn't find the bolts to put the bed together, resulting in our being up until about 11pm while he searched for, located, and assembled our bed. That doesn't seem TOO late but I'd been awake since 5am and we'd moved so I was exhausted. My body definitely didn't appreciate it and I was sickish for the next several days. I'm still recovering.
In spite of all that, though, I'd say we're about 95% done unpacking. There are filled boxes in the garage, sure, but those are things in long term storage. We're passing along our empty boxes and once we've got those down to a manageable number, we'll (I'll) work on organizing the storage areas a little better. There are still things around that need a permanent home, but we'll figure that out as we go. We've turned the dining room into a temporary gathering place for everything that's left, just to help me keep my sanity. After two months of living surrounded by boxes, I'm really glad to have the majority of the boxes confined to one room, and it's a room I can avoid easily.
The kitchen is unpacked and usable. We've cooked quite a few meals, though we've also ordered in and picked up a few times because hey, we just moved and we're still unpacking and we're tired.
The last room started was the first room finished. The library has books on the shelves or in the cabinets, art on the walls (made by me), comfy chairs for reading, and a desk chair at the desk. Not all the books would fit because of course not, but each kid has shelves in their room with books on them and my Book of the Month books are in my sitting room. Of course those shelves are almost full with the ones I've already got so that's definitely not a long term solution. I'll likely be donating more of the books Mom left behind (there's already about 11 boxes of books she left that we're not keeping) to make space for our books. We'll need to get a library ladder because we can't reach the top two shelves without one, and even then it's tricky. Needless to say, the books we don't use much (or ever) are up there.
I'm absolutely loving how some of the rooms look, namely the girls' rooms and the library. I'm taking pictures as we go and I'll eventually post some before and afters. I'm just waiting until rooms are done before I take pictures of them, and since only a couple of rooms are actually completely done (or as done as they're going to get for now) that's slow going. The family dining room is done but my kids are super messy eaters so I'd have to clean and sweep to get a decent picture. Maybe after the next time the house is cleaned I'll snap a picture before the kids come in. It doesn't look all that different from how Mom had it, it's just got our stuff in it.
Mom and I went on Friday and did the official signing and transfer of Orange street, so the Caldwell House is officially, legally mine. I did have to pay for it, but it was a reasonable amount. I don't even have to sell a kid. The last step to get Mom free of this house is June 1 when the bills go into our name instead of hers.
It's interesting to live in my childhood home as the parent. Walking into the rooms, they're so different because of paint and use, I kind of feel like I'm living in two worlds at once. I can see how the rooms were when I was a kid and how they are now. I can remember the things that happened in those rooms and imagine the things that will happen in the years to come. Eden is in my childhood bedroom and Asher is in Caleb's room. Rebekah is in what was Dad's office and Elijah is in the craft room. Austin's office is the music room where I spent hours practicing the piano as a kid and once in a while when I'm in there, I remember Dad making faces at me through the double glass doors. I'm remembering the quirks of the house and learning new ones.
The kids seem to love being here. The only complaint I've heard is from Elijah who said this house is so big. He still likes being here. He's torn between wanting to still be in the Mulberry house and being here where there's so much more space and he's got his own big room. Asher is enjoying having his own room, his only complaint has been that it's "small" which is silly because it's a large room. Though in his defense, it is the smallest bedroom in the house. That's what he gets for having a bedroom on the first floor away from everyone else.
Rebekah mostly stays away from the stairs, though she likes to pull up at the top of the stairs and give me a big grin as she bounces. She's very cautious, though, carefully sitting down and backing up. I'll eventually get around to bringing a gate upstairs to put at the top when we're all upstairs relaxing and she's roaming free. She's loving having so much space to explore. She was let loose in the downstairs on Thursday while I did some unpacking in the dining room and she managed to find a paperclip, two screws, and two plastic pegs from a game. She was very unhappy when I fished them out of her mouth. If you want to find things that shouldn't be on the floor, get a baby and she'll find them for you.
So things are going well as far as the move goes. There's a few little tweaks that need to be done. Austin's still unpacking because he hasn't been home as much as I have plus he's been doing things for me around the house, like hanging things up and taking empty boxes out to the garage. When he gets done with the things I've asked him to do, he's usually tired and ready to sit and do nothing for a while.
Elijah asked me last week how long we'd have boxes all over our house. I told him to give me two weeks. I feel like I can safely say that after 10 days, we're pretty much out of boxes. This is my superpower.
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