Man this girl has a lot of adventures. Good thing she's up for them.
She had her second cardio appointment of the year in Plano the Monday before Thanksgiving. Interesting timing on my part because I was sick off and on the week before that decided to be pretty fully on Thursday. I was feeling better enough to take her on Monday, so we set off, but that meant that very little preparations for our annual Walke Thanksgiving trip to New Braunfels had been done since I'd been in bed for three days.
Anyway....driving in the metroplex on a holiday week with Miss Chatterbox in the back on the tail end of a three day bout of illness was not my idea of a good time. But you gotta do what you gotta do. Austin stayed home with the other three to try to get some stuff done for the trip (and he did get quite a bit done over the weekend while I was down). And thankfully, Eden passed out asleep thirty minutes into the trip and didn't really wake up until we got to the hospital in Plano.
We were an hour early so we got some lunch at the cafeteria and managed to eat some of that while filling out another 8 page developmental assessment before they called us back.
Her height and weight are currently in the upper percentiles, like 78 and 85% or something. Her oxygen levels were on the lower end of her normal, but she was chatting away to the technician. Everything else seemed ok. Her EKG seemed normal, too. We had an echo and then we waited around a bit for the doctor, giving us more time to fill out the assessment form. Those things seriously take a long time. You ask the child to do all kinds of tasks and Eden typically doesn't want to do the things she knows she's going to struggle with. I definitely get that.
After a bit, Dr. S came in and talked to us and told us that Eden's VSD is starting to close. That's the hole between her venticles, the chambers in the bottom of her heart. Those are switched, so having the hole there is helping things out. Everything is screwed up, yes, but screwed up in such a way that it's working really well. So the VSD closing is not a great thing. No one get excited or start saying "Praise God!" This isn't a good thing. This could lead to the ASD, the hole between the upper chambers of her heart, having more stress on it, or really, just more stress on her heart in general, which could lead to heart block. Heart block means a pace maker. Pace makers are not a terrible thing by any means, but they are also not ideal for children. Pace makers are, from what we've been told by Eden's cardiologist, about a ten year stalemate before we're looking at a heart transplant.
At the same time, no one start to freak out. Eden is still ok. She's doing fine. The VSD is closing, yes, but slowly, and this was expected. I don't know if there's a way to stop it, or to push it back open. I didn't think to ask those questions. We have a follow up appointment in 4 months during her Spring Break so I'll ask that then.
While we were talking about Eden's development in relation to the assessment form, I mentioned her struggles in school seem to all be with discipline, that she seems to be doing pretty well academically. Dr. S commented that she'd recently been to a conference where they were told that a lot of cardio patients have been noted to have disciplinary issues, ADD, and ADHD and there have been studies that have linked it to the low oxygenation due to their cardiac issues. So her strong willedness and defiance are not just because she's my daughter and my mother's granddaughter (though that definitely helps) but it's also part of her diagnosis. So hey. Silver linings. And something to warn her future teachers.
I knew I had a stressful drive ahead of me so I couldn't really let myself think about hard things in that moment or I knew I'd fall apart on the way home and I couldn't do that. I managed to keep it together for a while then lost it and threw a can of evaporated milk at Austin at home and later sat in a parking lot and cried on the phone to a friend. It was not my finest moment.
So we will continue to keep an eye on her, making sure she doesn't get overtired or have any more episodes like she did a year ago. At least we're fortunate with her that it IS just a watching and waiting game, and not a constant rotation of surgeries and check ups.
Tuesday, December 3, 2019
Thursday, November 14, 2019
Resurfacing
Hello again!
I know. It's been four months. That's a long time. Sorry about that. Quick update: the nativity won best of show! Yay me!
We've been CRAZY busy. Like....feels like non-stop? I'm not a fan.
I took on some responsibilities for the kids' school that were mainly scheduling a plethora of field trips and speakers for Career Month, and then when we didn't have hardly any parents able to drive, hey, I got to drive for them, too. Fortunately, I had considered this and scheduled them for days that I could also drive. Rebekah tagged along on one and did excellently until she suddenly did NOT. And in her defense, we started 20 minutes late. There are two more I'll have to drive for next week and then I think (hope) I'm done. Driving for field trips is not my favorite, but it's not the worst. I've learned some interesting things and the kids are super sweet. (Mine act like I don't exist, but the others give me hugs and say thank you, which is very nice.)
Making cold calls is probably my least favorite thing to do and one day I made 27. That's one of my versions of hell. But its for a good cause. The kids are learning! We're making connections with people for future years of field trips! It'll be great!
ugh.
I also cook once a week for the school and the kids have started making requests and even cheering a little when they see me, which is also heartening, since sometimes my own kids groan or even cry when they hear what I've cooked for dinner. It's nice to be appreciated by elementary aged children once in a while.
My nephew got married a few weeks ago and it was a very interesting wedding. Halloween themed at the Swenson House, complete with costumes. Afterwards, we guests got to wander around and see the house for ourselves, which was fun, then the family visited at Mom's house for a bit before the reception at a different location a little later. It was a pretty intimate wedding and reception with mainly close friends and family and just a few extra people, but the couple seemed pretty content with it and it seemed to be just exactly what they wanted, so that's what mattered. I'm happy for them and look forward to watching them enjoy their life together.
My oldest nephew and his wife moved down from Colorado with their newborn twins about a month before the wedding, which was super timing for them. Go Army. They're about 45 minutes south of town, so we don't see them super often, but my sister definitely makes frequent trips to come see her grandbabies. As she should. Who cares about the rest of us, right? ;-) (Seriously, no judgement. Visit those cuties as much as you can.) It's the first time they've lived this close to family since they've been married, so it's new to them, but we try to include them and invite them as often as we can. My nephew even went to a couple of Austin's open mic nights he's been going to around town lately and seemed to enjoy it. Legitimately. lol
Austin's gotten into open mic nights since he doesn't have any other musical outlets since quitting the church music scene. He's enjoying it, which is good. He started recording himself and posting the videos online, then sending the links to me and a couple of his friends. I assume. I haven't actually watched them. (Sorry Austin). I can hear it live most any time I want. And anytime I don't want. My house isn't super sound proof. The kids will sometimes ask him to play guitar in their room while they're picking up, so he has fans. But his friends have joined him a few times at various locations around town during the week and once my nephew was able to get away from work early enough he was able to join.
The kids are doing well. Same old same old. Some behavior type issues at school but we've tried a couple things at home and I *think* we're seeing some improvement at school. I hope anyway. Eden is so full of personality and her own opinions she is having a rough time, but is doing better in some ways than she was? I don't know. It's a little hard to tell. Rebekah is just the best all around. She goes to MDO twice a week and a sitter the day in between so that I have three days a week to do my own stuff and I'm busy all three days nearly every week. And I do actually kind of miss her. So Friday is our day to just kind of curl up in bed together and watch tv and hang out and it's pretty great. I'm a little jealous of my Fridays.
My migraine meds are working still. I had to double up the dosage (I was given permission to do that at my discretion (did I mention I'm on medication for migraines? I forget)) in mid-October so now I worry that my body is going to adapt again and then what do I do? Because I can't just keep increasing the dosage. At some point, it'll be too much and unsafe. But for now, it's working ok. I need to call the doctor and make a follow up appointment but I keep forgetting to do that. I've had a few other things going on and we've already discussed that I hate making cold calls but also I just hate making calls in general ok?
There've been other things going on, but the stories aren't mine to tell or they just don't need to be told or I'm not ready to tell. We're currently taking a break from church, though I did visit church with a friend and while I did really enjoy it, I don't think it's the church for me, mainly because I'd want to go with her and she goes to the 8am service and I'm over the early service. So once I'm recovered from my church issues, I'll find my way back.
For now, I'm loving grocery shopping at about 930 or 10 on Sunday morning. Once, I woke up at 6 and couldn't get back to sleep so went then. IT WAS THE BEST. Not planning to make that a habit, though. We love having two lazy days together as a family instead of one that regularly gets eaten up by errends or chores.
We've got stuff coming up: another cardio appointment for Eden, Thanksgiving followed quickly by Christmas and then another semester of school with me taking on different responsibilities at the school. I thought with three kids in school I might have more free time and I was definitely wrong. I'll have to reconsider taking on stuff in the future because like I said, I'm not loving being this busy. I'm exhausted. I'm always worried that today my migraine meds won't work or I'll forget to take them (I seriously check a couple times a day that I did in fact take it).
It's fine. Everything is fine. I've got a great tribe that shows up for me when I need them. The next few weeks look great. Thanksgiving! My Birthday! (same day, actually) Our game night group outing to see Die Hard at the Paramount! Being able to sleep in when the kids are out of school for the Christmas holidays! And holiday baking! It'll be great. Let's get to it.
Hopefully it won't take me another four months to check in again but if it does...well, maybe I'll have some really interesting things to tell you. ;-)
I know. It's been four months. That's a long time. Sorry about that. Quick update: the nativity won best of show! Yay me!
We've been CRAZY busy. Like....feels like non-stop? I'm not a fan.
I took on some responsibilities for the kids' school that were mainly scheduling a plethora of field trips and speakers for Career Month, and then when we didn't have hardly any parents able to drive, hey, I got to drive for them, too. Fortunately, I had considered this and scheduled them for days that I could also drive. Rebekah tagged along on one and did excellently until she suddenly did NOT. And in her defense, we started 20 minutes late. There are two more I'll have to drive for next week and then I think (hope) I'm done. Driving for field trips is not my favorite, but it's not the worst. I've learned some interesting things and the kids are super sweet. (Mine act like I don't exist, but the others give me hugs and say thank you, which is very nice.)
Making cold calls is probably my least favorite thing to do and one day I made 27. That's one of my versions of hell. But its for a good cause. The kids are learning! We're making connections with people for future years of field trips! It'll be great!
ugh.
I also cook once a week for the school and the kids have started making requests and even cheering a little when they see me, which is also heartening, since sometimes my own kids groan or even cry when they hear what I've cooked for dinner. It's nice to be appreciated by elementary aged children once in a while.
My nephew got married a few weeks ago and it was a very interesting wedding. Halloween themed at the Swenson House, complete with costumes. Afterwards, we guests got to wander around and see the house for ourselves, which was fun, then the family visited at Mom's house for a bit before the reception at a different location a little later. It was a pretty intimate wedding and reception with mainly close friends and family and just a few extra people, but the couple seemed pretty content with it and it seemed to be just exactly what they wanted, so that's what mattered. I'm happy for them and look forward to watching them enjoy their life together.
My oldest nephew and his wife moved down from Colorado with their newborn twins about a month before the wedding, which was super timing for them. Go Army. They're about 45 minutes south of town, so we don't see them super often, but my sister definitely makes frequent trips to come see her grandbabies. As she should. Who cares about the rest of us, right? ;-) (Seriously, no judgement. Visit those cuties as much as you can.) It's the first time they've lived this close to family since they've been married, so it's new to them, but we try to include them and invite them as often as we can. My nephew even went to a couple of Austin's open mic nights he's been going to around town lately and seemed to enjoy it. Legitimately. lol
Austin's gotten into open mic nights since he doesn't have any other musical outlets since quitting the church music scene. He's enjoying it, which is good. He started recording himself and posting the videos online, then sending the links to me and a couple of his friends. I assume. I haven't actually watched them. (Sorry Austin). I can hear it live most any time I want. And anytime I don't want. My house isn't super sound proof. The kids will sometimes ask him to play guitar in their room while they're picking up, so he has fans. But his friends have joined him a few times at various locations around town during the week and once my nephew was able to get away from work early enough he was able to join.
The kids are doing well. Same old same old. Some behavior type issues at school but we've tried a couple things at home and I *think* we're seeing some improvement at school. I hope anyway. Eden is so full of personality and her own opinions she is having a rough time, but is doing better in some ways than she was? I don't know. It's a little hard to tell. Rebekah is just the best all around. She goes to MDO twice a week and a sitter the day in between so that I have three days a week to do my own stuff and I'm busy all three days nearly every week. And I do actually kind of miss her. So Friday is our day to just kind of curl up in bed together and watch tv and hang out and it's pretty great. I'm a little jealous of my Fridays.
My migraine meds are working still. I had to double up the dosage (I was given permission to do that at my discretion (did I mention I'm on medication for migraines? I forget)) in mid-October so now I worry that my body is going to adapt again and then what do I do? Because I can't just keep increasing the dosage. At some point, it'll be too much and unsafe. But for now, it's working ok. I need to call the doctor and make a follow up appointment but I keep forgetting to do that. I've had a few other things going on and we've already discussed that I hate making cold calls but also I just hate making calls in general ok?
There've been other things going on, but the stories aren't mine to tell or they just don't need to be told or I'm not ready to tell. We're currently taking a break from church, though I did visit church with a friend and while I did really enjoy it, I don't think it's the church for me, mainly because I'd want to go with her and she goes to the 8am service and I'm over the early service. So once I'm recovered from my church issues, I'll find my way back.
For now, I'm loving grocery shopping at about 930 or 10 on Sunday morning. Once, I woke up at 6 and couldn't get back to sleep so went then. IT WAS THE BEST. Not planning to make that a habit, though. We love having two lazy days together as a family instead of one that regularly gets eaten up by errends or chores.
We've got stuff coming up: another cardio appointment for Eden, Thanksgiving followed quickly by Christmas and then another semester of school with me taking on different responsibilities at the school. I thought with three kids in school I might have more free time and I was definitely wrong. I'll have to reconsider taking on stuff in the future because like I said, I'm not loving being this busy. I'm exhausted. I'm always worried that today my migraine meds won't work or I'll forget to take them (I seriously check a couple times a day that I did in fact take it).
It's fine. Everything is fine. I've got a great tribe that shows up for me when I need them. The next few weeks look great. Thanksgiving! My Birthday! (same day, actually) Our game night group outing to see Die Hard at the Paramount! Being able to sleep in when the kids are out of school for the Christmas holidays! And holiday baking! It'll be great. Let's get to it.
Hopefully it won't take me another four months to check in again but if it does...well, maybe I'll have some really interesting things to tell you. ;-)
Sunday, July 28, 2019
Countess of Cross-Stitch
I'm going to do something I don't do often and brag about myself a little.
My parents both cross-stitch(ed). My mom made beautiful stockings for everyone in our family of origin and all her grandchildren (except Dad and Rebekah) and wedding samplers and quilt tops for each of us kids (Caleb has a beautiful quilt, too) and various beautiful pieces for as long as I can remember. Dad did several pieces, too, mostly religious themed, most notably the Last Supper hanging over the fireplace in my living room. He even designed one based on the God's Eye nebula that he stitched and my sister and I had framed and gave to our oldest brother for Christmas one year.
Each of us children knows how to cross-stitch, though I feel like it's fairly safe to say I'm the best at it. I've been doing it since I was 12 and since I'm turning 36 this year, that's nearly 2/3 of my life. That's a long time.
I started with stamped cross-stitch on muslin, a super simple beginner format that I really hated. I can't quite explain why, I just couldn't get the hang of it. So I quit. I think I was younger than 12, but maybe not. Then Mom found a small Christmas ornament of a kitten sleeping on a present and I made that. I'll admit, I attempted to send it to my celebrity crush (JTT for life!) but I'm pretty sure I was unsuccessful.
After that, I moved on to lots of cat type things. And these door ribbon decor things. I have no idea where the majority of my early pieces ended up, but rather quickly, I moved on to larger pieces, mostly still cat themed. I liked cats, so that became what everyone gave me. I was sort of forced into collecting cats. I didn't necessarily WANT to collect them, but so many people gave them to me, I just started saying I did collect them to make it easier for people to buy me gifts (apparently I've always been hard to shop for). And cat cross-stitch projects were part of that period of my life. A few of those are still hanging in the upstairs hallway: one, a cat asleep in a heart that I did when I think I was about 15 or 16, and the other a four seasons of cats in windowsills a couple years later.
I eventually got bored with cats and discovered Teresa Wentzler. Actually, I discovered her through a cat. A GORGEOUS cat. But I loved her designs. They're super intricate and there's a lot of shading using the thread and just tons of back-stitching (outlining) to give detail and they're some of my absolute favorite patterns ever. So I did a couple of her things.
Over late high school/early college, I would ask my parents for something new, something harder, something challenging, and I guess eventually my parents got to a point where they wanted to see what they could do. Most parents want to challenge their kids academically. Mine didn't have that with me. They had to challenge me with cross-stitch...lol So, Mom pulled out a magazine she had and said that every now and then she and Dad would look at the pattern and ooh and ahh and then put it away because it just seemed like too much. I looked at it and thought "Oh, I can do *that.*" And then I did it.
Then Mom told me there was a companion piece. And I did that one, too. The original names were A Young Man's Fancy and Sunday Best, but we thought those names were stupid and we renamed them to Frederick and Rosemary. It was my first time working with metallic threads and something besides DMC cotton thread, working with a fabric besides the standard evenweave AIDA cloth (a very basic, stiff fabric that beginners typically use and I still use on occasion) and instead using linen. I think it took me about 18 months to complete both pieces. Mom and Dad were so proud and impressed with me and how well I did that they paid to have them professionally framed at a time that we were doing all our own framing.
I went back to doing Teresa Wentzler (she's prolific). I also made baby samplers for all my nieces and nephews and as my friends started getting married, I made wedding samplers for them. I started to have pieces pile up so I started giving stuff away to anyone who might appreciate it, not waiting for events like births or marriages. I discovered Mirabilia and Lavender and Lace patterns that are massive and have SO MUCH SHADING but very little back-stitching and are fabulous and starting making those. I abandoned Aida cloth almost exclusively but still occasionally go back to evenweave to give my poor brain a break from linen.
I started designing my own stuff, though it's super basic, just bar samplers (repeated designs going across with text between the lines). I had a photograph turned into a pattern for my best friend for her high school graduation and made it AND IT LOOKED LIKE A DAMN PHOTOGRAPH FROM ACROSS THE ROOM. It's amazing. I'm still impressed with myself for that one.
I occasionally asked my mom for a challenge.
Then....she gave me one.
So now you've got the back story. I'm good. I'm damn good. I've gotten best of show at the Taylor County Fair in the adult division multiple times. I did nearly every year as a youth. I nearly always win either first or second place with whatever I enter. Very rarely do I do easy or simple. So at one point when Mom mentioned this cross-stitch nativity, I kind of filed it away thinking, she can make that herself, that sounds super basic and not worth my time.
But then she did a lot of stuff for us, like let us live with her when we moved to Abilene, and helped us buy a house and all that and I didn't have much money, so for Christmas I told her I'd make her that Nativity. And then she gave me the pattern. I *think* this was about Christmas 2011.
Or should I say patternS. Because this bad boy is 6 patterns for 5 separate pieces. In a five panel frame. That is about 2 feet tall by about 5 feet wide.
Now I know why she never made it.
I took a deep breath and dove in. I bought the recommended material (18 count Aida (count is how many holes are in an inch) in ivory) and made sure I had the threads. Mom bought the metallic threads because there were about 30 different colors. She neglected to notice that she didn't get the special wool thread we needed but I didn't realize it at the time either. Anyway, I got started. Five pieces, six patterns. Go.
These are the worst patterns I've EVER worked with. Some places there's just a void. No symbol for what color goes there, so I had to guess. There's a notation for a color of back stitch that isn't on the pattern, or symbols on the pattern for back stitching and no reference on the key. Sometimes, I had to use the blurry 1989 photo of the finished product on the front to figure it out. NOT MY IDEA OF A GOOD TIME. I got all the cotton DMC thread finished and quit. I didn't like the pattern. I didn't think it was pretty. I had kids. I didn't have the metallic thread because Mom was hanging on to it, afraid I would lose it (which was both fair and unfair of her since as a kid I lost a lot of stuff, but as an adult I'm much more organized).
Then a couple months ago I was hanging out with some friends and we were talking about unfinished projects and I said I might have them beat with how old some of mine are. One is probably 12 or 13 years old because Dad and I talked about finishing it up together. It would literally take an afternoon, just a couple hours, but at this point, finishing without him makes me want to cry, so I'm on the fence about whether or not I even want to. It's beautiful and I'd love to have it in my home, but I feel like it needs that last little bit.
The other was the nativity. I was describing it to my friend, the Empress of Yarn (so called for her phenomenal knitting skills, she's the best knitter I know under 70) and she told me she was going to harass me until I finished it. So I begrudgingly started working on it again. I have worked on very little else the last two months.
I substituted some of the metallic threads for beads and Mom is going to do the french knots because as amazing as I am at cross-stitch for some reason I just can't get those right. Whatever, I'm awesome at everything else. I spent weeks and weeks on metallic threads all over the five panels, going back and forth across them. I found a needle that would break the threads more quickly and so put it away and found a favorite needle. The Empress knitted me a heart shaped pin cushion and it has actually made my life SO much easier (it's amazing how having something so small and simple makes a tedious task less tedious). And every time I look at it I smile and think about her and how much I enjoy her.
She has helped me pick the right color beads to go in the right places, both in the stores and at home with the panels laid out on the table in the sitting room, going so far as to put the beads in the voids on the fabric so we could have a better understanding of how it would look.
This morning, I finished. It's over. After nearly 8 years, this giant labor of love is finalized. I laid it out over the settee in the sitting room to take a picture to send people who've been cheering me on and Eden walked in and said "Oh, is that the pictures for Oma? It's made of love."
And it is. I don't always think loving thoughts while I'm making something for people, especially something this big that took this long, but then, I don't always think loving thoughts about people I love. Because I'm human. But I went through all that stress and distress and discouragement and disbelief and dismay because my mom loved this piece when she saw a blurry photograph. The real thing doesn't photograph well. I see the flaws in it, I see places where I'd fix it if I wanted to lose my mind. However. It is SPECTACULAR in person. It is dirty and stained from my hands and 8 years of handling (and oh my god one time I dripped chocolate milk IN THE MIDDLE OF IT AND I ALMOST CROAKED but I got it off) and it smells a little from being stored in plastic bags but once it is washed and cleaned and framed and displayed, it will gleam and shine and hopefully be something to be treasured. I kinda think she should put it up and keep it up all year round for at LEAST 8 years.
I'm not asking her for any more challenges. I'm afraid of what she'll give me next.
Edited to add:
I forgot to say, and this is all important:
When I got to the part where I needed some special thread made of wool, we discovered that it was discontinued and it was very difficult to find a suitable substitution. I lucked out through google (what would I have done in pre-internet days?) and found a company that actually uses the same dyes as the original company, only now the thread is variegated. I figured, hey, that'll make the sheep look better, so I called my favorite and closest little cross stitch store in Arlington and asked them to order the thread for me. A friend's mom was coming to town and she graciously picked it up and transported it for me so I was able to stitch those little sheep finally after 8 years. And they looked kinda weird. Whatever man.
Then there was the hiccup with the center panel which is made using 2 patterns. Normally, when you have a pattern so big it doesn't fit on one single sheet of paper, even a huge one, there's some instructions about how to match up the separate parts of the pattern, a little bit of overlapping so that you can make sure you're in the right place. I'm pretty sure this didn't have that. I (I'm not kidding here) COUNTED ON THE BLURRY 1989 PHOTO to see how far I had to go from the top of the column to the bottom of the angels to space them apart. It. Was. Bananas. I deserve a prize for that right there. I was trying to figure out how to match the two patterns together the whole way through because there are beams from the Star of Bethlehem coming down from the top pattern into the bottom pattern and it's done in such a way that it's easy to adjust if you're off, but adjustments do have to be made. So I'd start at the top of the top pattern and at the bottom of the bottom pattern and meet in the middle. I thought at one point that I had one line of overlap on the patterns, then at another time I thought, no, I had no overlap, they just meet. I honestly have no clue what it actually is. If they meet, I'm off by 1 stitch. If there's one line of overlap, I'm off by 2. Either way, I DID A SPECTACULAR JOB.
Also, I added some pictures of projects I referenced. I don't have pictures of all of them since I gave them away, but here's what's around my house.
My parents both cross-stitch(ed). My mom made beautiful stockings for everyone in our family of origin and all her grandchildren (except Dad and Rebekah) and wedding samplers and quilt tops for each of us kids (Caleb has a beautiful quilt, too) and various beautiful pieces for as long as I can remember. Dad did several pieces, too, mostly religious themed, most notably the Last Supper hanging over the fireplace in my living room. He even designed one based on the God's Eye nebula that he stitched and my sister and I had framed and gave to our oldest brother for Christmas one year.
Each of us children knows how to cross-stitch, though I feel like it's fairly safe to say I'm the best at it. I've been doing it since I was 12 and since I'm turning 36 this year, that's nearly 2/3 of my life. That's a long time.
I started with stamped cross-stitch on muslin, a super simple beginner format that I really hated. I can't quite explain why, I just couldn't get the hang of it. So I quit. I think I was younger than 12, but maybe not. Then Mom found a small Christmas ornament of a kitten sleeping on a present and I made that. I'll admit, I attempted to send it to my celebrity crush (JTT for life!) but I'm pretty sure I was unsuccessful.
After that, I moved on to lots of cat type things. And these door ribbon decor things. I have no idea where the majority of my early pieces ended up, but rather quickly, I moved on to larger pieces, mostly still cat themed. I liked cats, so that became what everyone gave me. I was sort of forced into collecting cats. I didn't necessarily WANT to collect them, but so many people gave them to me, I just started saying I did collect them to make it easier for people to buy me gifts (apparently I've always been hard to shop for). And cat cross-stitch projects were part of that period of my life. A few of those are still hanging in the upstairs hallway: one, a cat asleep in a heart that I did when I think I was about 15 or 16, and the other a four seasons of cats in windowsills a couple years later.
I eventually got bored with cats and discovered Teresa Wentzler. Actually, I discovered her through a cat. A GORGEOUS cat. But I loved her designs. They're super intricate and there's a lot of shading using the thread and just tons of back-stitching (outlining) to give detail and they're some of my absolute favorite patterns ever. So I did a couple of her things.
Over late high school/early college, I would ask my parents for something new, something harder, something challenging, and I guess eventually my parents got to a point where they wanted to see what they could do. Most parents want to challenge their kids academically. Mine didn't have that with me. They had to challenge me with cross-stitch...lol So, Mom pulled out a magazine she had and said that every now and then she and Dad would look at the pattern and ooh and ahh and then put it away because it just seemed like too much. I looked at it and thought "Oh, I can do *that.*" And then I did it.
Then Mom told me there was a companion piece. And I did that one, too. The original names were A Young Man's Fancy and Sunday Best, but we thought those names were stupid and we renamed them to Frederick and Rosemary. It was my first time working with metallic threads and something besides DMC cotton thread, working with a fabric besides the standard evenweave AIDA cloth (a very basic, stiff fabric that beginners typically use and I still use on occasion) and instead using linen. I think it took me about 18 months to complete both pieces. Mom and Dad were so proud and impressed with me and how well I did that they paid to have them professionally framed at a time that we were doing all our own framing.
I went back to doing Teresa Wentzler (she's prolific). I also made baby samplers for all my nieces and nephews and as my friends started getting married, I made wedding samplers for them. I started to have pieces pile up so I started giving stuff away to anyone who might appreciate it, not waiting for events like births or marriages. I discovered Mirabilia and Lavender and Lace patterns that are massive and have SO MUCH SHADING but very little back-stitching and are fabulous and starting making those. I abandoned Aida cloth almost exclusively but still occasionally go back to evenweave to give my poor brain a break from linen.
I started designing my own stuff, though it's super basic, just bar samplers (repeated designs going across with text between the lines). I had a photograph turned into a pattern for my best friend for her high school graduation and made it AND IT LOOKED LIKE A DAMN PHOTOGRAPH FROM ACROSS THE ROOM. It's amazing. I'm still impressed with myself for that one.
I occasionally asked my mom for a challenge.
Then....she gave me one.
So now you've got the back story. I'm good. I'm damn good. I've gotten best of show at the Taylor County Fair in the adult division multiple times. I did nearly every year as a youth. I nearly always win either first or second place with whatever I enter. Very rarely do I do easy or simple. So at one point when Mom mentioned this cross-stitch nativity, I kind of filed it away thinking, she can make that herself, that sounds super basic and not worth my time.
But then she did a lot of stuff for us, like let us live with her when we moved to Abilene, and helped us buy a house and all that and I didn't have much money, so for Christmas I told her I'd make her that Nativity. And then she gave me the pattern. I *think* this was about Christmas 2011.
Or should I say patternS. Because this bad boy is 6 patterns for 5 separate pieces. In a five panel frame. That is about 2 feet tall by about 5 feet wide.
Now I know why she never made it.
I took a deep breath and dove in. I bought the recommended material (18 count Aida (count is how many holes are in an inch) in ivory) and made sure I had the threads. Mom bought the metallic threads because there were about 30 different colors. She neglected to notice that she didn't get the special wool thread we needed but I didn't realize it at the time either. Anyway, I got started. Five pieces, six patterns. Go.
These are the worst patterns I've EVER worked with. Some places there's just a void. No symbol for what color goes there, so I had to guess. There's a notation for a color of back stitch that isn't on the pattern, or symbols on the pattern for back stitching and no reference on the key. Sometimes, I had to use the blurry 1989 photo of the finished product on the front to figure it out. NOT MY IDEA OF A GOOD TIME. I got all the cotton DMC thread finished and quit. I didn't like the pattern. I didn't think it was pretty. I had kids. I didn't have the metallic thread because Mom was hanging on to it, afraid I would lose it (which was both fair and unfair of her since as a kid I lost a lot of stuff, but as an adult I'm much more organized).
Then a couple months ago I was hanging out with some friends and we were talking about unfinished projects and I said I might have them beat with how old some of mine are. One is probably 12 or 13 years old because Dad and I talked about finishing it up together. It would literally take an afternoon, just a couple hours, but at this point, finishing without him makes me want to cry, so I'm on the fence about whether or not I even want to. It's beautiful and I'd love to have it in my home, but I feel like it needs that last little bit.
The other was the nativity. I was describing it to my friend, the Empress of Yarn (so called for her phenomenal knitting skills, she's the best knitter I know under 70) and she told me she was going to harass me until I finished it. So I begrudgingly started working on it again. I have worked on very little else the last two months.
I substituted some of the metallic threads for beads and Mom is going to do the french knots because as amazing as I am at cross-stitch for some reason I just can't get those right. Whatever, I'm awesome at everything else. I spent weeks and weeks on metallic threads all over the five panels, going back and forth across them. I found a needle that would break the threads more quickly and so put it away and found a favorite needle. The Empress knitted me a heart shaped pin cushion and it has actually made my life SO much easier (it's amazing how having something so small and simple makes a tedious task less tedious). And every time I look at it I smile and think about her and how much I enjoy her.
She has helped me pick the right color beads to go in the right places, both in the stores and at home with the panels laid out on the table in the sitting room, going so far as to put the beads in the voids on the fabric so we could have a better understanding of how it would look.
This morning, I finished. It's over. After nearly 8 years, this giant labor of love is finalized. I laid it out over the settee in the sitting room to take a picture to send people who've been cheering me on and Eden walked in and said "Oh, is that the pictures for Oma? It's made of love."
And it is. I don't always think loving thoughts while I'm making something for people, especially something this big that took this long, but then, I don't always think loving thoughts about people I love. Because I'm human. But I went through all that stress and distress and discouragement and disbelief and dismay because my mom loved this piece when she saw a blurry photograph. The real thing doesn't photograph well. I see the flaws in it, I see places where I'd fix it if I wanted to lose my mind. However. It is SPECTACULAR in person. It is dirty and stained from my hands and 8 years of handling (and oh my god one time I dripped chocolate milk IN THE MIDDLE OF IT AND I ALMOST CROAKED but I got it off) and it smells a little from being stored in plastic bags but once it is washed and cleaned and framed and displayed, it will gleam and shine and hopefully be something to be treasured. I kinda think she should put it up and keep it up all year round for at LEAST 8 years.
I'm not asking her for any more challenges. I'm afraid of what she'll give me next.
Edited to add:
I forgot to say, and this is all important:
When I got to the part where I needed some special thread made of wool, we discovered that it was discontinued and it was very difficult to find a suitable substitution. I lucked out through google (what would I have done in pre-internet days?) and found a company that actually uses the same dyes as the original company, only now the thread is variegated. I figured, hey, that'll make the sheep look better, so I called my favorite and closest little cross stitch store in Arlington and asked them to order the thread for me. A friend's mom was coming to town and she graciously picked it up and transported it for me so I was able to stitch those little sheep finally after 8 years. And they looked kinda weird. Whatever man.
Then there was the hiccup with the center panel which is made using 2 patterns. Normally, when you have a pattern so big it doesn't fit on one single sheet of paper, even a huge one, there's some instructions about how to match up the separate parts of the pattern, a little bit of overlapping so that you can make sure you're in the right place. I'm pretty sure this didn't have that. I (I'm not kidding here) COUNTED ON THE BLURRY 1989 PHOTO to see how far I had to go from the top of the column to the bottom of the angels to space them apart. It. Was. Bananas. I deserve a prize for that right there. I was trying to figure out how to match the two patterns together the whole way through because there are beams from the Star of Bethlehem coming down from the top pattern into the bottom pattern and it's done in such a way that it's easy to adjust if you're off, but adjustments do have to be made. So I'd start at the top of the top pattern and at the bottom of the bottom pattern and meet in the middle. I thought at one point that I had one line of overlap on the patterns, then at another time I thought, no, I had no overlap, they just meet. I honestly have no clue what it actually is. If they meet, I'm off by 1 stitch. If there's one line of overlap, I'm off by 2. Either way, I DID A SPECTACULAR JOB.
Also, I added some pictures of projects I referenced. I don't have pictures of all of them since I gave them away, but here's what's around my house.
Cat sleeping on a heart. I have no idea when I made this, late 90s?
Four Seasons is a thing I actually really like....lol This was finished in 2000
Teresa Wentzler cat. So pretty. Finished in 2004? Not framed. I'm pretty good at finishing, not so good at framing.
A TW that almost finished ME. Good lord. It's solid. Very little fabric shows, just in the neckline and hem detail of her dress. I finished that last year.
Mom and Dad's first challenge, Rosemary.
Her brother, Frederick
Lavender and Lace pattern, Angel of Winter. Lots of beads around her hem and through her skirt.
My first exposure to TW. Mom made this for our wedding. She started it for Tom and Stephanie and I said I really liked it and she could make it for me. It's not easy, so she stopped and made them another one. When I got engaged, she started working on it again but didn't actually finish it until 2010.
My dad did beautiful work. Yes, I know it's crooked. It always falls crooked. I blame the ghost.
Wednesday, June 12, 2019
Adventures with Eden part 5
It has been an exhausting week. We had CALF last weekend, which is always fun, but so much work to organize and keep going. I joke to my friends that it's like herding cats, getting everyone from one location to the other. It doesn't help when two of the cats wander off on occasion. Overall, though, I think the kids enjoyed themselves. Elijah told me today that he doesn't really like CALF except for the book readings, the crafts, the balloon man, the cookie decorating, and the ventriloquist. So...basically he doesn't like that it's two long days of walking around. Not sure that I blame him on that front.
Monday after Austin got home from work, Eden and I hit the road for Dallas. We met my sister in Fort Worth for dinner, then went to the hotel to sleep.
Eden had an appointment with a pediatric psychologist to assess her development, since the questionnaire I filled out last month indicated some delays. Since next year's school stuff is a little crazy, we wanted to get her assessed early so we could work on whatever we need to over the summer and to help us make a decision about where we're sending her in the all.
Eden blew the doctor away. She actually stopped during one of the tests, where Eden was copying patterns using blocks, and told me she was impressed with how well Eden was doing. She does these tests all the time, so that's saying something.
Later, she was asking Eden to tell her similarities between two things (flowers and trees are: plants; triangle and square are: shapes; etc) and when she said "Mommys and sisters are:" Eden responded enthusiastically with "Humans!" Not quite what the doctor was looking for, but acceptable.
I spent nearly the entire two and a half hours filling out more questionnaires. Some of them asked about Eden's self confidence and self esteem, how she interacts with children her age, etc. I only had a scale of 1-4 and on the first two, Eden needs about a 14. (Even Asher said she needed about a 40 on those.) When it comes to other kids, my experience is she does pretty well, though she definitely takes the lead. She's opinionated and bossy, just like her mom and Oma. Except we prefer to be called decisive leaders.
I don't have the written out results, but basically, Eden is at the top of all the scales. She's got excellent reasoning skills and the overall IQ that came back was 131.
The doctor asked what we have planned for school this fall and I told her we weren't really sure, it depended on what she told us, if she thought Eden was ready for pre-school. She laughed and said if it were her, she'd send Eden to Kindergarten.
She thinks Eden is definitely capable of the work in Kindergarten, the only issue might be the socializing with older kids and her emotional maturity, since she won't be 5 until January. The concern with just doing pre-k in the fall is that she would get bored and become disruptive, like Asher was in Kindergarten (and really, I think he was a bit like that his last year in MDO, but I can't remember).
I've talked to the boys' headmistress and she's on board with putting Eden in kindergarten this fall. We'll keep an eye on her behavior and if she seems to be having some issues, we'll adjust, just like the plan with the boys. The pre-k and kindergarten kids will be doing stuff together in the afternoons and separate in the mornings, so she'll get time with kids her own age no matter what. To help her get ready, we've ordered a Brain Quest PreK to Kindergarten workbook to work through with her this summer.
So that minor bombshell (we knew she was smart, but come on) after a weekend of CALF and the drive to and from DFW have me exhausted and ready to sleep almost at a moment's notice. Next week looks to be fairly quiet so I can rest up from the crazy of this week.
The doctor wants us to have another evaluation done in about 3 years to see where Eden is after a couple of years of school. They won't ask us to do it, since she's not putting us down for follow ups, so we have to remember to check in about that in three years. Sure. Sounds like a thing I can do. Not like I have anything else to remember. (I really need a sarcasm font.) Austin put it in Cozi, and I'll put it in a couple of other places and hopefully in three years, we'll have another positive assessment.
I joke that Dad picked out my kids for me, but I think he definitely had some say in these super smart little weirdos in my house. He was kind of a super smart weirdo himself.
Monday after Austin got home from work, Eden and I hit the road for Dallas. We met my sister in Fort Worth for dinner, then went to the hotel to sleep.
Eden had an appointment with a pediatric psychologist to assess her development, since the questionnaire I filled out last month indicated some delays. Since next year's school stuff is a little crazy, we wanted to get her assessed early so we could work on whatever we need to over the summer and to help us make a decision about where we're sending her in the all.
Eden blew the doctor away. She actually stopped during one of the tests, where Eden was copying patterns using blocks, and told me she was impressed with how well Eden was doing. She does these tests all the time, so that's saying something.
Later, she was asking Eden to tell her similarities between two things (flowers and trees are: plants; triangle and square are: shapes; etc) and when she said "Mommys and sisters are:" Eden responded enthusiastically with "Humans!" Not quite what the doctor was looking for, but acceptable.
I spent nearly the entire two and a half hours filling out more questionnaires. Some of them asked about Eden's self confidence and self esteem, how she interacts with children her age, etc. I only had a scale of 1-4 and on the first two, Eden needs about a 14. (Even Asher said she needed about a 40 on those.) When it comes to other kids, my experience is she does pretty well, though she definitely takes the lead. She's opinionated and bossy, just like her mom and Oma. Except we prefer to be called decisive leaders.
I don't have the written out results, but basically, Eden is at the top of all the scales. She's got excellent reasoning skills and the overall IQ that came back was 131.
The doctor asked what we have planned for school this fall and I told her we weren't really sure, it depended on what she told us, if she thought Eden was ready for pre-school. She laughed and said if it were her, she'd send Eden to Kindergarten.
She thinks Eden is definitely capable of the work in Kindergarten, the only issue might be the socializing with older kids and her emotional maturity, since she won't be 5 until January. The concern with just doing pre-k in the fall is that she would get bored and become disruptive, like Asher was in Kindergarten (and really, I think he was a bit like that his last year in MDO, but I can't remember).
I've talked to the boys' headmistress and she's on board with putting Eden in kindergarten this fall. We'll keep an eye on her behavior and if she seems to be having some issues, we'll adjust, just like the plan with the boys. The pre-k and kindergarten kids will be doing stuff together in the afternoons and separate in the mornings, so she'll get time with kids her own age no matter what. To help her get ready, we've ordered a Brain Quest PreK to Kindergarten workbook to work through with her this summer.
So that minor bombshell (we knew she was smart, but come on) after a weekend of CALF and the drive to and from DFW have me exhausted and ready to sleep almost at a moment's notice. Next week looks to be fairly quiet so I can rest up from the crazy of this week.
The doctor wants us to have another evaluation done in about 3 years to see where Eden is after a couple of years of school. They won't ask us to do it, since she's not putting us down for follow ups, so we have to remember to check in about that in three years. Sure. Sounds like a thing I can do. Not like I have anything else to remember. (I really need a sarcasm font.) Austin put it in Cozi, and I'll put it in a couple of other places and hopefully in three years, we'll have another positive assessment.
I joke that Dad picked out my kids for me, but I think he definitely had some say in these super smart little weirdos in my house. He was kind of a super smart weirdo himself.
Friday, May 31, 2019
We Survived May
Oh my goodness. There was so much going on this past month. We started with a wedding, then we had the school's Mother's Day breakfast (hosted at my house for space reasons) then actual Mother's Day. There was Bring Your Pet to School day immediately followed by Eden's cardio appointment in Plano and then Miss Saigon in Dallas. Then was the Father's Day breakfast at the school, the school talent show at Beltway North, and Kindergarten graduation and awards ceremony at the Alliance for Women and Children, plus I've been keeping some extra boys this week and I AM TIRED.
I cooked for the MDO one week and two days later cooked for my mom's Christ Care group. I took a tour of the second MDO the girls will be at this summer. We had our standing game night and played a new game and made waffles and bacon that we forgot about. (I found it in the oven this morning and we made it Saturday...oops).
I think I'm taking the next few days "off" as much as I can.
Next week is CALF and I'm already exhausted just thinking about it. Herding our group through crowds for two days is stressful and fills me with anxiety. And the kids really don't seem to care. I'm starting to debate even doing it in future years. (I'm in a down mood currently, so that could all change. Maybe this year will be so amazing I'll wonder why I ever thought that.)
Eden's cardio appointment went as well as usual. We were given a questionnaire to see how she's developing, a standard thing they do with cardio patients when they're 4. She tested normal in everything but gross motor skills and Personal/Social, where she shows some delays. I agree with the gross, because she couldn't do the things in the questionnaire, but the social....like, anyone who's met her looks at me like I'm crazy.
Anyway, she has another doctor's appointment with a psychologist in Dallas in mid-June.
Because this girl needs a sixth doctor. Good lord, she's a full time job by herself.
It'll be a 3-4 hour long appointment and starts at 830, so I get to have another hotel stay with Eden. Woo. The purpose is to have the doctor really assess her in person and give us guidance on how to help her catch up and make sure she's ready for school. She can read a little and she's already writing her name fairly well, so I think intellectually, she's pretty ready for Pre-K, but her ability to obey and sit still are still at the level of a 4 yo. I worry about Pre-K vs MDO because they are pretty different. And if we send her to Pre-K, I'll have 2 drop offs and 3 pick ups twice a week and 1 and 2 three times a week. I'm not interested in becoming a taxi service, so that's actually a huge factor in what we do with her. Plus, only having a few hours a week to do doctor's appointments and whatever else I need to do without kids is really difficult. Granted, Rebekah is so easy going, taking her along by herself wouldn't be a huge deal. But I couldn't take her to a hair appointment or really to a doctor's appointment.
I say Rebekah is easy- going, but she's starting to develop some real PERSONALITY. She LOVES 'mingos, and insists on wearing her mingo dress whenever she can. She cried when I put it in the laundry after she'd worn it for about a week straight. She's got a toddler bed now and I couldn't find mingo sheets and blankets, but I found rainbows and unicorns and flowers, so that's pretty good. She puts herself down for naps a couple times a day and that is the best thing in my life at the moment. Bedtime is a different story.
Asher and Elijah finished school yesterday and had their awards ceremony. They both got awards for diligence and Asher was given an award for following written instructions (not a given with a 2nd/3rd grader) and was on the A honor roll all year! None of us realized this. The report cards have a mix of letter grades, checks, and numbers, so its a little tricky to understand sometimes. He was surprised, too. Especially since the last semester he's been doing 3rd grade work instead of 2nd.
Elijah came home from school a while ago with a Brain Quest summer workbook for K-1 and Asher requested one as well, so I got it. Yesterday, about 3 hours after he got home from school and after he'd read a book I had saved until the end of school, he came and asked if he could do some learning. So he's got the workbook and is diligently working his way through it. I was hoping it would last all summer, but if he finishes it before too long, I'll ask if he wants the next level up workbook and have him work through that. We'll have him in sixth grade by September! lol
There's not much to report about Elijah. He's just plugging along, doing his thing. He's still got his anger outbursts occasionally, but it feels like they're farther apart now. At TLCA, the teachers and principal told us there's something magical about the summer between Kindergarten and 1st grade because they come back so different. So I'm hoping for that for him. Let him grow up a little more this summer, but not too much. He's a sweet kid 99% of the time and so enthusiastic about his favorite things. Asher is so much a little adult I sometimes forget that Elijah isn't and find myself adjusting my approach to him mid-sentence. He got a Math award at school yesterday, which I caught a glimpse of and thought it said Mario and figured "yeah, that makes sense."
The boys were blessed at the awards ceremony and Elijah was blessed with continued diligence and Asher with the ability to find answers in scripture. Something like that. She talked about how scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching.
Overall, all is well. We're healthy, we're happy, we're busy. So busy. But hopefully, the summer will slow things down for the most part. I think there's only one week where everyone has something, so that will be fun. Today, it's a day of being lazy and zoning out in front of screens. Let their minds rot a little bit.
Except for Asher who's probably halfway through his workbook.
Check facebook for photos and videos.
I cooked for the MDO one week and two days later cooked for my mom's Christ Care group. I took a tour of the second MDO the girls will be at this summer. We had our standing game night and played a new game and made waffles and bacon that we forgot about. (I found it in the oven this morning and we made it Saturday...oops).
I think I'm taking the next few days "off" as much as I can.
Next week is CALF and I'm already exhausted just thinking about it. Herding our group through crowds for two days is stressful and fills me with anxiety. And the kids really don't seem to care. I'm starting to debate even doing it in future years. (I'm in a down mood currently, so that could all change. Maybe this year will be so amazing I'll wonder why I ever thought that.)
Eden's cardio appointment went as well as usual. We were given a questionnaire to see how she's developing, a standard thing they do with cardio patients when they're 4. She tested normal in everything but gross motor skills and Personal/Social, where she shows some delays. I agree with the gross, because she couldn't do the things in the questionnaire, but the social....like, anyone who's met her looks at me like I'm crazy.
Anyway, she has another doctor's appointment with a psychologist in Dallas in mid-June.
Because this girl needs a sixth doctor. Good lord, she's a full time job by herself.
It'll be a 3-4 hour long appointment and starts at 830, so I get to have another hotel stay with Eden. Woo. The purpose is to have the doctor really assess her in person and give us guidance on how to help her catch up and make sure she's ready for school. She can read a little and she's already writing her name fairly well, so I think intellectually, she's pretty ready for Pre-K, but her ability to obey and sit still are still at the level of a 4 yo. I worry about Pre-K vs MDO because they are pretty different. And if we send her to Pre-K, I'll have 2 drop offs and 3 pick ups twice a week and 1 and 2 three times a week. I'm not interested in becoming a taxi service, so that's actually a huge factor in what we do with her. Plus, only having a few hours a week to do doctor's appointments and whatever else I need to do without kids is really difficult. Granted, Rebekah is so easy going, taking her along by herself wouldn't be a huge deal. But I couldn't take her to a hair appointment or really to a doctor's appointment.
I say Rebekah is easy- going, but she's starting to develop some real PERSONALITY. She LOVES 'mingos, and insists on wearing her mingo dress whenever she can. She cried when I put it in the laundry after she'd worn it for about a week straight. She's got a toddler bed now and I couldn't find mingo sheets and blankets, but I found rainbows and unicorns and flowers, so that's pretty good. She puts herself down for naps a couple times a day and that is the best thing in my life at the moment. Bedtime is a different story.
Asher and Elijah finished school yesterday and had their awards ceremony. They both got awards for diligence and Asher was given an award for following written instructions (not a given with a 2nd/3rd grader) and was on the A honor roll all year! None of us realized this. The report cards have a mix of letter grades, checks, and numbers, so its a little tricky to understand sometimes. He was surprised, too. Especially since the last semester he's been doing 3rd grade work instead of 2nd.
Elijah came home from school a while ago with a Brain Quest summer workbook for K-1 and Asher requested one as well, so I got it. Yesterday, about 3 hours after he got home from school and after he'd read a book I had saved until the end of school, he came and asked if he could do some learning. So he's got the workbook and is diligently working his way through it. I was hoping it would last all summer, but if he finishes it before too long, I'll ask if he wants the next level up workbook and have him work through that. We'll have him in sixth grade by September! lol
There's not much to report about Elijah. He's just plugging along, doing his thing. He's still got his anger outbursts occasionally, but it feels like they're farther apart now. At TLCA, the teachers and principal told us there's something magical about the summer between Kindergarten and 1st grade because they come back so different. So I'm hoping for that for him. Let him grow up a little more this summer, but not too much. He's a sweet kid 99% of the time and so enthusiastic about his favorite things. Asher is so much a little adult I sometimes forget that Elijah isn't and find myself adjusting my approach to him mid-sentence. He got a Math award at school yesterday, which I caught a glimpse of and thought it said Mario and figured "yeah, that makes sense."
The boys were blessed at the awards ceremony and Elijah was blessed with continued diligence and Asher with the ability to find answers in scripture. Something like that. She talked about how scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching.
Overall, all is well. We're healthy, we're happy, we're busy. So busy. But hopefully, the summer will slow things down for the most part. I think there's only one week where everyone has something, so that will be fun. Today, it's a day of being lazy and zoning out in front of screens. Let their minds rot a little bit.
Except for Asher who's probably halfway through his workbook.
Check facebook for photos and videos.
Wednesday, May 1, 2019
It's May!
Hey-o!
I haven't written in a while because I've been busy. Lots of things seemed to happen all at once towards the end of March and I felt like I was doing good to keep my head above water, so blogging was way down low on the priority list.
Since I last wrote, we have:
1. Started up a semi-regular game night with some friends. It started as us trying to work our way through a Sherlock Holmes murder mystery game, but the first time out, we ran out of time and the second, we forgot some of the people we're supposed to "interview" so were nowhere close to solving the case. The other two times we've gotten together, we've played other games and every time we've had a blast. Lots of laughing and good food and it's become one of my favorite parts of the month.
2. We called someone out to check on the insulation in the attic, knowing that we needed to put in about $1000 worth. Well, that snowballed VERY quickly and we ended up having soffit (sp) vents installed as well. Those are vents in the eaves of your house to let air circulate through. We thought we didn't have any but when the workman started working, he discovered we had trapdoors rigged to a pulley system so that they could be opened in summer and closed in winter. They had not been used in likely 30+ years, so the ropes were dried out and the hinges rusted. And OF COURSE the vents in place were custom sized, so if we wanted to get newer, prettier vents, it was going to cost something like $250 a vent. For twenty-five vents. Needless to say, we put the old ugly ones back up. In the process of that, we also had a roofer come out to make sure we had the appropriate number of turbines on the buildings and we do, but the carriage house needs soffits, too. So maybe this coming fall we'll get those.
3. We discovered that the bills on the Mulberry house had shot through the roof, not because of anything the renters are doing, but because we neglected to renew our electricity contract so we were paying THREE TIMES the rate we had been. Plus there was a toilet that ran off and on. So fixing the contract and the toilet issues and that's been much better.
4. We somehow forgot to pay property taxes on Orange street, so that bill was racking up late fees and then we accidentally paid it TWICE. Late March/early April was super expensive.
5. I had my first mammogram and that was super duper. My mom's younger sister had breast cancer twice, and I think she was 28 the first time she was diagnosed, so I need to start screening early. Everything is great and I go back in a year. It wasn't that bad, just super awkward positions and a little uncomfortable. That plus a well woman check happening in the two weeks that everything above was going on made me feel very poked and prodded and squeezed.
6. We went to the Brother's Keeper movie premiere. We thought we were getting steak, but it was bbq. It was good, but when you're expecting steak, it's a bit of a letdown. We had a good time, though, and we were all dressed to the nines. The movie itself was awful. There's been a lot of talk about it online and apparently the producers are taking some of the comments into consideration and reworking the movie. What we weren't told at the time was that there was about 40 minutes still to be put in, so when none of the story lines were resolved and there was literally no football in a football movie, we were confused. And then when the main character was a white savior for the minority disadvantaged youth, it felt wrong. I'm not saying that Abilene doesn't have issues with drugs and gangs, but it felt like they were saying our city is a cesspool of crime. And I really don't think we are. I'm not even sure we're more dangerous and crime-riddled now than we were 10 years ago, when the movie is set. We may just be way more aware of the crime because of social media. I wasn't in Abilene 10 years ago, but 20 years ago, when I was 15, I would regularly leave my house at 2 am and walk around downtown Abilene when I couldn't sleep. Bare foot. And I never felt unsafe. Granted, I was 15 and stupid and I'd ground my kids forever if I found out they were doing the same thing, but my point is, I grew up downtown and on the edge of a not great neighborhood (where I now live) and never felt unsafe. Hell, a convenience store literally 3 blocks from me was robbed at gunpoint a few days ago and I still feel ok about where I live. Abilene is not a terrible place.
Anyway. Off the soapbox.
7. I helped my in-laws look at at least a dozen houses in Abilene for their impending move and found one that is perfect for them. The kids are excited about BB and Papa being in town and are making some plans. Mostly they involve watching tv and playing with trains or going to the park or to get pancakes every single Saturday. We'll see how long the magic lasts. For both grandchildren and grandparents. Austin's grandmother was moved to a nursing home in Arlington last summer and she'll move to one here in Abilene with his parents, so she may actually get to meet her great-grandchildren. Apparently, the one she's most interested in and delighted by is Rebekah. I find this amusing because every time we called to tell her about another child, she was surprised. I think she said "Really?!" to Eden and Rebekah. She had one and her son had one, so her grandson having four seems ludicrous to her.
It'll be good for the kids to have more grandparents in town. And supposedly grandkids keep you young, so it'll be good for the grandparents, too.
8. Austin and I finally got to see Hamilton and it. was. amazing. Like, the music is so so good, but you miss how funny it is, how touching, how visually stunning it is when you're not watching it with a crowd. We saw it opening night and the theater was packed. The woman next to me and I were both singing along under our breaths (that's really hard for me not to do when I know the music). I laughed, I cried, I was blown away, I want to see it again. And again and again and again.
Upcoming is a family wedding this Saturday and another doctor's appointment for Eden and another play for Austin and me. Then school ends and summer begins. We've got lots planned but also lots of "nothing" planned. Camps and trips and friends in town and downtime. The kids have lots of ideas of things to do and places to go and we'll see if any of them happen. For now, we're going to try to get through the next month of school.
I haven't written in a while because I've been busy. Lots of things seemed to happen all at once towards the end of March and I felt like I was doing good to keep my head above water, so blogging was way down low on the priority list.
Since I last wrote, we have:
1. Started up a semi-regular game night with some friends. It started as us trying to work our way through a Sherlock Holmes murder mystery game, but the first time out, we ran out of time and the second, we forgot some of the people we're supposed to "interview" so were nowhere close to solving the case. The other two times we've gotten together, we've played other games and every time we've had a blast. Lots of laughing and good food and it's become one of my favorite parts of the month.
2. We called someone out to check on the insulation in the attic, knowing that we needed to put in about $1000 worth. Well, that snowballed VERY quickly and we ended up having soffit (sp) vents installed as well. Those are vents in the eaves of your house to let air circulate through. We thought we didn't have any but when the workman started working, he discovered we had trapdoors rigged to a pulley system so that they could be opened in summer and closed in winter. They had not been used in likely 30+ years, so the ropes were dried out and the hinges rusted. And OF COURSE the vents in place were custom sized, so if we wanted to get newer, prettier vents, it was going to cost something like $250 a vent. For twenty-five vents. Needless to say, we put the old ugly ones back up. In the process of that, we also had a roofer come out to make sure we had the appropriate number of turbines on the buildings and we do, but the carriage house needs soffits, too. So maybe this coming fall we'll get those.
3. We discovered that the bills on the Mulberry house had shot through the roof, not because of anything the renters are doing, but because we neglected to renew our electricity contract so we were paying THREE TIMES the rate we had been. Plus there was a toilet that ran off and on. So fixing the contract and the toilet issues and that's been much better.
4. We somehow forgot to pay property taxes on Orange street, so that bill was racking up late fees and then we accidentally paid it TWICE. Late March/early April was super expensive.
5. I had my first mammogram and that was super duper. My mom's younger sister had breast cancer twice, and I think she was 28 the first time she was diagnosed, so I need to start screening early. Everything is great and I go back in a year. It wasn't that bad, just super awkward positions and a little uncomfortable. That plus a well woman check happening in the two weeks that everything above was going on made me feel very poked and prodded and squeezed.
6. We went to the Brother's Keeper movie premiere. We thought we were getting steak, but it was bbq. It was good, but when you're expecting steak, it's a bit of a letdown. We had a good time, though, and we were all dressed to the nines. The movie itself was awful. There's been a lot of talk about it online and apparently the producers are taking some of the comments into consideration and reworking the movie. What we weren't told at the time was that there was about 40 minutes still to be put in, so when none of the story lines were resolved and there was literally no football in a football movie, we were confused. And then when the main character was a white savior for the minority disadvantaged youth, it felt wrong. I'm not saying that Abilene doesn't have issues with drugs and gangs, but it felt like they were saying our city is a cesspool of crime. And I really don't think we are. I'm not even sure we're more dangerous and crime-riddled now than we were 10 years ago, when the movie is set. We may just be way more aware of the crime because of social media. I wasn't in Abilene 10 years ago, but 20 years ago, when I was 15, I would regularly leave my house at 2 am and walk around downtown Abilene when I couldn't sleep. Bare foot. And I never felt unsafe. Granted, I was 15 and stupid and I'd ground my kids forever if I found out they were doing the same thing, but my point is, I grew up downtown and on the edge of a not great neighborhood (where I now live) and never felt unsafe. Hell, a convenience store literally 3 blocks from me was robbed at gunpoint a few days ago and I still feel ok about where I live. Abilene is not a terrible place.
Anyway. Off the soapbox.
7. I helped my in-laws look at at least a dozen houses in Abilene for their impending move and found one that is perfect for them. The kids are excited about BB and Papa being in town and are making some plans. Mostly they involve watching tv and playing with trains or going to the park or to get pancakes every single Saturday. We'll see how long the magic lasts. For both grandchildren and grandparents. Austin's grandmother was moved to a nursing home in Arlington last summer and she'll move to one here in Abilene with his parents, so she may actually get to meet her great-grandchildren. Apparently, the one she's most interested in and delighted by is Rebekah. I find this amusing because every time we called to tell her about another child, she was surprised. I think she said "Really?!" to Eden and Rebekah. She had one and her son had one, so her grandson having four seems ludicrous to her.
It'll be good for the kids to have more grandparents in town. And supposedly grandkids keep you young, so it'll be good for the grandparents, too.
8. Austin and I finally got to see Hamilton and it. was. amazing. Like, the music is so so good, but you miss how funny it is, how touching, how visually stunning it is when you're not watching it with a crowd. We saw it opening night and the theater was packed. The woman next to me and I were both singing along under our breaths (that's really hard for me not to do when I know the music). I laughed, I cried, I was blown away, I want to see it again. And again and again and again.
Upcoming is a family wedding this Saturday and another doctor's appointment for Eden and another play for Austin and me. Then school ends and summer begins. We've got lots planned but also lots of "nothing" planned. Camps and trips and friends in town and downtime. The kids have lots of ideas of things to do and places to go and we'll see if any of them happen. For now, we're going to try to get through the next month of school.
Insulation getting blown into the attic
Vents! That function as such!
The trapdoors they removed.
Hamilton stage.
Monday, February 11, 2019
Adventures with Eden part 4
Eden's eye surgery was nine weeks ago and her eye looks fantastic. She literally sleeps with one eye open and if you don't realize that, it's a bit jarring.
Since her surgical records didn't get sent to the local ophthalmologist and we had questions he couldn't answer, he recommended we set up an additional appointment with the surgeon. When I called in January, the soonest they could get us in was this morning at 730 am. So off we went.
We left around 330 yesterday and we weren't even as far as the Convention Center before Eden heaved a huge sigh and said "I just miss Daddy." We hadn't been gone 30 seconds. This girl.
We met my sister at a surprisingly good pizza place just off 30 in Fort Worth and sat and chatted for a while before heading to the hotel. We got there around 8 and Eden recognized it as the hotel we swam at back in September and asked if we were going to swim. I shut that down fast.
I was tired and sore after driving (I felt a little tense driving in the fog and mist after dark on the highway in Dallas) so I was asleep by around 930 or 10. I woke up at 130 am for no discernible reason and couldn't sleep for about an hour. Austin said at home, that might have been around the time Rebekah woke up.
Sounds about right: she's waking me up even when I'm 3 hours away.
Since the appointment was at 730 in the morning and we needed breakfast before, the alarm went off at 530. I snoozed until 545, then we got up and got dressed. She wakes up fairly easily, so that was nice. She ate most of the pancakes and drank most of her chocolate milk before dropping the cup upside down on the floor.
We watched some PBS kids then headed out at 7 for the office, which is hospital adjacent but not in the actual hospital. We were doing so good on time, we got there 15 minutes before our appointment (my usual goal) and the office wasn't even open.
Once we were in, it went pretty quickly. We checked in, watched a few minutes of Disney, then got called to a room. The nurse/tech checked her vision (looked like about 20/40 and 20/35 for left and right respectively. A female doctor came in and checked it again and answered some questions, then she left and we waited to see the surgeon, something I specifically requested.
His first words in the door were "She looks beautiful!" which, duh. It's Eden. Confidence all the way. She just asked him to move so she could keep watching the movie they were playing on the tv.
The eye being open when she sleeps is normal. The muscles are kind of messed up, even after surgery, so that's ok. She hasn't complained about dry eyes or anything but if she does we can do drops if needed.
Everything healed wonderfully and as expected, so we feel good that we didn't mess something up.
As for the big question, the repeat surgeries, we got some final peace of mind on that one. Eden will need multiple eyelid surgeries, but not annually. She'll need maybe three surgeries total between birth and around 15, when she'll be about done growing. We'll notice when it needs to be done again because her eyelid will start to droop again. She will definitely need to be seen by an ophthalmologist annually the rest of her life, but that's not a huge deal since Austin and I do already.
He said that in the future, if we need to see him, he has an office in Fort Worth and he doesn't normally see children there, but he might see Eden if needed. Which is nice, since that's a little closer than Children's, plus an office will be easier to navigate than the hospital.
We were done with the appointment and out the door by 8 am. Which is amazing. We were home by 1130 after a stop for a bathroom break on Ranger Hill and gas in Clyde. Eden and I were hungry (what happens when you eat breakfast at 630 in the morning) so we grabbed Schlotzsky's on the way home. Then I fell asleep around 1, one of those naps where you wake up not sure what year it is. I got overheated so I haven't been feeling great this evening. I'll be able to bum around tomorrow since I don't have to go anywhere until school pick up at 330.
I keep thinking maybe the boys are old enough to walk home...lol
Eden is so great on these doctor trips. She's obedient and (mostly) polite to everyone. This time I took the stroller so I didn't have to worry about her keeping up and that was fantastic. Especially since it was cold and wet everywhere. She's having some issues now with tiredness and just being 4, but she'll be back to normal by tomorrow, I'm sure.
Overall, a great visit. She loved her time with Aunt Cari and loves staying in the hotel (even without swimming). Next doctor's appointment in Plano is in May. *sigh*
Since her surgical records didn't get sent to the local ophthalmologist and we had questions he couldn't answer, he recommended we set up an additional appointment with the surgeon. When I called in January, the soonest they could get us in was this morning at 730 am. So off we went.
We left around 330 yesterday and we weren't even as far as the Convention Center before Eden heaved a huge sigh and said "I just miss Daddy." We hadn't been gone 30 seconds. This girl.
We met my sister at a surprisingly good pizza place just off 30 in Fort Worth and sat and chatted for a while before heading to the hotel. We got there around 8 and Eden recognized it as the hotel we swam at back in September and asked if we were going to swim. I shut that down fast.
I was tired and sore after driving (I felt a little tense driving in the fog and mist after dark on the highway in Dallas) so I was asleep by around 930 or 10. I woke up at 130 am for no discernible reason and couldn't sleep for about an hour. Austin said at home, that might have been around the time Rebekah woke up.
Sounds about right: she's waking me up even when I'm 3 hours away.
Since the appointment was at 730 in the morning and we needed breakfast before, the alarm went off at 530. I snoozed until 545, then we got up and got dressed. She wakes up fairly easily, so that was nice. She ate most of the pancakes and drank most of her chocolate milk before dropping the cup upside down on the floor.
We watched some PBS kids then headed out at 7 for the office, which is hospital adjacent but not in the actual hospital. We were doing so good on time, we got there 15 minutes before our appointment (my usual goal) and the office wasn't even open.
Once we were in, it went pretty quickly. We checked in, watched a few minutes of Disney, then got called to a room. The nurse/tech checked her vision (looked like about 20/40 and 20/35 for left and right respectively. A female doctor came in and checked it again and answered some questions, then she left and we waited to see the surgeon, something I specifically requested.
His first words in the door were "She looks beautiful!" which, duh. It's Eden. Confidence all the way. She just asked him to move so she could keep watching the movie they were playing on the tv.
The eye being open when she sleeps is normal. The muscles are kind of messed up, even after surgery, so that's ok. She hasn't complained about dry eyes or anything but if she does we can do drops if needed.
Everything healed wonderfully and as expected, so we feel good that we didn't mess something up.
As for the big question, the repeat surgeries, we got some final peace of mind on that one. Eden will need multiple eyelid surgeries, but not annually. She'll need maybe three surgeries total between birth and around 15, when she'll be about done growing. We'll notice when it needs to be done again because her eyelid will start to droop again. She will definitely need to be seen by an ophthalmologist annually the rest of her life, but that's not a huge deal since Austin and I do already.
He said that in the future, if we need to see him, he has an office in Fort Worth and he doesn't normally see children there, but he might see Eden if needed. Which is nice, since that's a little closer than Children's, plus an office will be easier to navigate than the hospital.
We were done with the appointment and out the door by 8 am. Which is amazing. We were home by 1130 after a stop for a bathroom break on Ranger Hill and gas in Clyde. Eden and I were hungry (what happens when you eat breakfast at 630 in the morning) so we grabbed Schlotzsky's on the way home. Then I fell asleep around 1, one of those naps where you wake up not sure what year it is. I got overheated so I haven't been feeling great this evening. I'll be able to bum around tomorrow since I don't have to go anywhere until school pick up at 330.
I keep thinking maybe the boys are old enough to walk home...lol
Eden is so great on these doctor trips. She's obedient and (mostly) polite to everyone. This time I took the stroller so I didn't have to worry about her keeping up and that was fantastic. Especially since it was cold and wet everywhere. She's having some issues now with tiredness and just being 4, but she'll be back to normal by tomorrow, I'm sure.
Overall, a great visit. She loved her time with Aunt Cari and loves staying in the hotel (even without swimming). Next doctor's appointment in Plano is in May. *sigh*
Saturday, January 26, 2019
Diving In
When I was a kid, I took swimming lessons at the Abilene Swim Club. I don't remember much about it except it was early in the morning, so the water was cool, and the last couple of lessons were diving.
We started with diving off the side of the pool, which was pretty easy. Then we went to the low dive. Scary, but not too terrible. Then the high dive. Since I'd mastered the low dive and pool side, I figured this would be easier. The main thing to remember was to tuck my chin down so I didn't face plant on the water.
At the end of one lesson, my mom was there to watch (or maybe she was there the whole time? I don't remember) and I was going to dive off the high dive. I was excited because I'd done it a couple of times and it was easy. I felt like I was kind of a badass. I climbed up, took my stance, and dove off. And then at the last second, looked up to see if Mom was watching and smacked my face into the water.
That hurt. A LOT. It knocked the wind out of me and I feel like I remember the instructor getting in the water to pull me out because I was stunned. I remember crying and my face being numb and getting three gummy worms from the snack bar. I haven't really been able to dive since then, but that could be because after four babies, my body SHOCKINGLY doesn't in any way resemble a 7 year old's. Which is probably for the best.
A few years ago, my feelings got hurt. I won't go into a lot of detail because some of the people who hurt my feelings read this and I seriously don't want them to feel bad. I've gotten over it and it's completely fine now. But at the time, I felt like I'd gotten the wind knocked out of me again.
After I calmed down and saw their sides and realized why what happened happened, I realized I'd let myself believe I had more of a community than I actually did.
I know this is hard to follow in its vagueness but bear with me.
I decided that rather than let people around me unintentionally hurt my feelings and make me feel bad about myself, I'd take that hurt and turn it around and become the kind of friend I wanted to have. I think this past year showed me that I've managed it, with varying levels of success.
I hate going out to new places and talking to people I don't know well or sometimes even leaving the house. I get a panicky feeling in my stomach and if it's a big overwhelming situation, I've cried about it. It's hard for me to put myself out there, so joining big groups is very difficult for me. So I started with something small.
When Eden was born, our community of helpers was virtually non-existent, and I believe most of that was because of her health. People just didn't know what to do. But one woman from MOPS did the MOST amazing thing for us. She brought us dinner. Every week. For a month.
To know that once a week for a month dinner was taken care of was such a relief. We were trying to juggle three kids, one with crazy heart issues that needed lots of doctor appointments, and adjusting to life as a family of five. Realizing how amazing that was, when my best friend had a baby two and a half months after Eden, I jumped on it and did the same for them. And when Eden turned one and a friend at church had her fourth baby, I did the same for them.
The great thing about being so recently the recipient of such an amazing gift was I knew what a new mom wants: no dishes, snacks, tasty food, dessert. So I brought disposable plates and containers, a bag of just snacks FOR HER ONLY, my favorite foods and always, always a delicious dessert.
I think one of them cried once, but I may be making it out to be more than it was. I know they were tremendously grateful.
I started trying to say yes more when people asked us to hang out or go to the park or Chik-fil-A with them. When a friend invited me to Starbucks last January, at first I hesitated because I don't drink coffee and that felt weird, but then I went anyway. And now it's a weekly thing that I miss when I don't go. And it's not just the two of us, there's a third regular who I've known for less than a year but already count as one of my favorite people and she's coming fast into the "best friends" club. I mean, she's probably already there, but I don't want to freak her out.
I was really given the test in the last year and a half when my friends started coming to me with hard things, asking me to keep them company in not as fun places like tiny houses with children sleeping ten feet away, or hospital rooms, or way too silent living rooms. We had sad conversations in all those places, but we also laughed in all those places. Rebekah went along sometimes when she was a newborn and a tiny baby who nursed every 15 minutes.
When Eden was born, I felt alone in Abilene because I had one or two friends, and they were busy with their own families and their own lives and I felt like I had to fight to be a part of them. And so, person by person, bit by bit, I've expanded my tiny community. It's not huge by any means, but I feel more comfortable with some of the people who were vague acquaintances before and I have new close friends who I didn't even know existed in 2016 and I'm closer to some of my friends than I ever thought I would be. Some of the things we went through this year together were not just bonding, they felt like cementing.
I hope I've become the friend people feel like they can rely on and call on, someone who will be there for them when they need it. Whether it's bringing you a meal after your family grew (or didn't) or going to get coffee and catch up on soaps or just sitting around chatting while the kids fight in the next room over who's feet are bigger (spoiler alert, they wore the same size). Maybe these relationships won't last forever. Maybe in a few years time, we'll drift apart like I have with some of my friends. And if that happens, it's ok. Because now I know I can do it. I can take a deep breath and dive into the deep end and come to the surface and swim. And I will remember to tuck my chin.
We started with diving off the side of the pool, which was pretty easy. Then we went to the low dive. Scary, but not too terrible. Then the high dive. Since I'd mastered the low dive and pool side, I figured this would be easier. The main thing to remember was to tuck my chin down so I didn't face plant on the water.
At the end of one lesson, my mom was there to watch (or maybe she was there the whole time? I don't remember) and I was going to dive off the high dive. I was excited because I'd done it a couple of times and it was easy. I felt like I was kind of a badass. I climbed up, took my stance, and dove off. And then at the last second, looked up to see if Mom was watching and smacked my face into the water.
That hurt. A LOT. It knocked the wind out of me and I feel like I remember the instructor getting in the water to pull me out because I was stunned. I remember crying and my face being numb and getting three gummy worms from the snack bar. I haven't really been able to dive since then, but that could be because after four babies, my body SHOCKINGLY doesn't in any way resemble a 7 year old's. Which is probably for the best.
A few years ago, my feelings got hurt. I won't go into a lot of detail because some of the people who hurt my feelings read this and I seriously don't want them to feel bad. I've gotten over it and it's completely fine now. But at the time, I felt like I'd gotten the wind knocked out of me again.
After I calmed down and saw their sides and realized why what happened happened, I realized I'd let myself believe I had more of a community than I actually did.
I know this is hard to follow in its vagueness but bear with me.
I decided that rather than let people around me unintentionally hurt my feelings and make me feel bad about myself, I'd take that hurt and turn it around and become the kind of friend I wanted to have. I think this past year showed me that I've managed it, with varying levels of success.
I hate going out to new places and talking to people I don't know well or sometimes even leaving the house. I get a panicky feeling in my stomach and if it's a big overwhelming situation, I've cried about it. It's hard for me to put myself out there, so joining big groups is very difficult for me. So I started with something small.
When Eden was born, our community of helpers was virtually non-existent, and I believe most of that was because of her health. People just didn't know what to do. But one woman from MOPS did the MOST amazing thing for us. She brought us dinner. Every week. For a month.
To know that once a week for a month dinner was taken care of was such a relief. We were trying to juggle three kids, one with crazy heart issues that needed lots of doctor appointments, and adjusting to life as a family of five. Realizing how amazing that was, when my best friend had a baby two and a half months after Eden, I jumped on it and did the same for them. And when Eden turned one and a friend at church had her fourth baby, I did the same for them.
The great thing about being so recently the recipient of such an amazing gift was I knew what a new mom wants: no dishes, snacks, tasty food, dessert. So I brought disposable plates and containers, a bag of just snacks FOR HER ONLY, my favorite foods and always, always a delicious dessert.
I think one of them cried once, but I may be making it out to be more than it was. I know they were tremendously grateful.
I started trying to say yes more when people asked us to hang out or go to the park or Chik-fil-A with them. When a friend invited me to Starbucks last January, at first I hesitated because I don't drink coffee and that felt weird, but then I went anyway. And now it's a weekly thing that I miss when I don't go. And it's not just the two of us, there's a third regular who I've known for less than a year but already count as one of my favorite people and she's coming fast into the "best friends" club. I mean, she's probably already there, but I don't want to freak her out.
I was really given the test in the last year and a half when my friends started coming to me with hard things, asking me to keep them company in not as fun places like tiny houses with children sleeping ten feet away, or hospital rooms, or way too silent living rooms. We had sad conversations in all those places, but we also laughed in all those places. Rebekah went along sometimes when she was a newborn and a tiny baby who nursed every 15 minutes.
When Eden was born, I felt alone in Abilene because I had one or two friends, and they were busy with their own families and their own lives and I felt like I had to fight to be a part of them. And so, person by person, bit by bit, I've expanded my tiny community. It's not huge by any means, but I feel more comfortable with some of the people who were vague acquaintances before and I have new close friends who I didn't even know existed in 2016 and I'm closer to some of my friends than I ever thought I would be. Some of the things we went through this year together were not just bonding, they felt like cementing.
I hope I've become the friend people feel like they can rely on and call on, someone who will be there for them when they need it. Whether it's bringing you a meal after your family grew (or didn't) or going to get coffee and catch up on soaps or just sitting around chatting while the kids fight in the next room over who's feet are bigger (spoiler alert, they wore the same size). Maybe these relationships won't last forever. Maybe in a few years time, we'll drift apart like I have with some of my friends. And if that happens, it's ok. Because now I know I can do it. I can take a deep breath and dive into the deep end and come to the surface and swim. And I will remember to tuck my chin.
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