Saturday, July 5, 2014

Notes from the belly: Week 10

Disclaimer: Nothing I post about my pregnancy is intended to be a blanket statement about ALL pregnancies. Every pregnancy is different, even my three have been different. So please take no offense.

The more pregnancies you have, the sooner everything happens. You start to show a little sooner, you feel pains a little sooner, since you know what to feel for, you feel baby moving a little sooner. My nausea came within days of being at the exact same time with each one, so that's a nice consistency. I had two colds with each of the boys, one in the first 2/3rds, one in the last trimester.

I'm currently on cold #1 and at 10 weeks pregnant. I've had a little bump since about 9 weeks. I've had muscle/ligament stretching pains for about 3 weeks (sides of your stomach hurt, like being thwapped with a rubber band). I've felt little flutters that COULD be gas, but I think might actually be little baby thumps saying "hey! I'm here!" which is reassuring. After feeling bad or being actually sick since Mother's Day, it's nice to feel a valid reason for all the crud.

After feeling bad for so long, it's hard sometimes to be nice. If what I really want to do is lay down and read a book or take a nap or watch tv and I have to be at work, upright, being polite and helpful to customers, its hard. And sometimes that gets taken out on the kids a bit. Luckily, my kids are awesome and resilient. I always apologize and kiss them once I've calmed down and I do feel bad, but I keep in mind, this is just a short season of our lives. Eventually, they'll get their mom back and I'll get myself back. And life will be better for a while before the stage hits where I feel like a beached whale and I'm wondering when this kid is going to make her appearance.

I'm using "her" because I can, not because I know. So no one get all excited.

Also, the thumps are reassuring because it helps to calm the paranoia that I have every pregnancy that this one won't happen, that I'll be the first in the line going back several to miscarry. I've read that the worse the morning sickness, the less likely for miscarriage, so I cling to that until I start feeling those thumps, and see and hear that heartbeat on a sonogram. This awful nausea and horrible vomiting have to be worth something and hopefully, it's a good sign my baby is alive and kicking...or at least wiggling, if her legs and arms haven't developed yet.

It is getting better, a little bit at a time. One thing will go away but typically within about 24 hours, another thing takes its place. And life keeps happening: the hail storm, Mom's wedding, Elijah swallowing a nail, damage inspections, Elijah swallowing a penny, a leaky ceiling, someone at work quitting, people taking time off at work right after....everything is moving forward, as life should. It shouldn't stop just because I feel terrible. Though sometimes I wish it would.

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