Today has been rather crappy

Today. Oh.....today. *sigh*

So, this may be a TMI post for a lot of you. Be warned. I will be discussing poop. If you don't want to read about that, you should probably just close the tab and find something more entertaining and less gross.

For those of you who stuck around....you must really love us. :-)

Some of you know that Asher has been having trouble with the pooping part of potty training. He was doing ok last fall and winter, but once Eden was born, he regressed. Elijah did, too, we were expecting that so we weren't surprised. A new baby is in the house, she's suddenly got special needs for her health, it's a topsy turvy time, they wanted more attention. We figured Elijah's insane tantrums and Asher's dirty underwear were just a reaction to all that.

Fast forward seven months and Elijah has calmed down a ton. Maybe he outgrew it, maybe we just figured out a better way of dealing with him, who knows. He has days where he is just the best kid ever. Asher was still having issues. Like...three times a day. It was never a LOT in his underwear...or at least not often, but it was often enough I just started throwing underwear away because ew. (This is why I don't cloth diaper.) Last night at Mom's, there was an incident and in talking about it with Mom, she said this isn't normal, we need to get this checked out.

So we did. Today, I called our pediatrician and they got me an appointment this morning. I went in to get Asher up, telling him we're going to the doctor to see if there's something that makes his butt hurt when he poops (his main reason for not wanting to use the potty). He was EXCITED about this. He jumped up and started getting dressed quickly, giving me his usual running commentary on his activities the whole time. I got Eden changed and dressed and set up with a bottle while I made a few more phone calls (we should probably get the broken window fixed before the cold weather hits).

While I'm on the phone, Elijah comes into my room with his diaper hanging around his knees and his dangly bits exposed and informs me he needs a diaper change. I agree and say just a second. He says ok and then PEES. ON. THE. FLOOR. I just stare at him in shock. He looks down at the puddle and says "Oh. I peed. Mommy, I peed." No kidding. (My kids are super smart.)

So I clean that up, get him changed and dressed, gather up what we'll need for the next couple of hours and we head out. At the doctor's office, Asher marches in and loudly and proudly informs the other mom in the waiting room "We're going to see the doctor because poop makes my butt hurt." Everyone laughs....because what other response do you have to that declaration?

The doctor checked him over and agreed that his history the past few months is unusual and there's likely something wrong. Nothing physically that we can see on the outside of his body, so she ordered an x-ray. Asher's now excited because he's going to get a picture of his stomach. So he keeps stopping people, lifting his shirt and saying "I'm getting a picture of my tummy because poop makes my butt hurt." Lots of amused grins.

We hit Sam's because we need formula and we're right there and it's the cheapest place. And of course I didn't take my purse in because three kids and a purse are too much, but unfortunately I forgot the correct credit card. I left the boys at the check out with free samples of fruit snacks and hauled to the car to get the correct card, then hoofed it back. OF COURSE I was at the farthest check out. It should be noted that power walking in flip flops while wearing a 16 pound baby is pretty good exercise for your calves.

We pay and leave, heading to the library downtown to drop off last week's items, we swing by the house to drop off the check for the housekeeper I forgot to leave, then we head over to see if Mom or Bob are available to watch Eden and Elijah while we get Asher's x-rays. They're both out, but Mrs. Kathy is at her daughter's and she graciously agrees to watch them for me.

Asher was marching all over the clinic, informing people why he was there, lifting his shirt for his picture, asking questions (like why did the admissions lady have a gap in her teeth (was she missing a tooth?)), making friends all over the place.

Where in the world did I get such a charismatic child?

The x-ray technician was another new friend. He told Asher there were lasers in the x-ray, which Asher wasn't too thrilled with because he didn't want to die. I told him not all lasers killed you, that Oma had had laser surgery on her eyes to fix them. He promptly decided he wanted laser surgery on his eyes. I asked him what was wrong with his eyes. He said nothing, but he still needed lasers.

He was very obedient and still for the x-rays and then was excited to see the images. He had no idea what he was looking at, naturally, but was interested to learn.

Asher, quite literally, is full of crap. (so sorry for the next part....it's gross)

His bowels are full all the way around. He has a large mass at the bottom that's not coming out but the new stuff at the top kind of oozes around it (sorry sorry sorry) and that's what we've been mostly seeing these past few months. He has very little control over it.

So we go get the younger kids and head home. I make lunch and we settle down to play and rest and wait for the doctor to call with instructions. After about 2 hours, she hasn't so I call and they say she'll call in a bit. Thirty minutes later, she calls and says he needs an enema and then to be on some kind of stool softener for the next 5-6 MONTHS. Where the mass is, the bowel is being stretched and it won't just snap back into size once the mass is gone. It takes time (kind of like a uterus, so we've got that in common). We have to clear the mass with enemas and then keep things soft and moving for the months it'll take for everything to shrink back down.

Who wouldn't love the news they get to give their 4.5 year old son daily enemas for a few days? At least it's not so bad he needs surgery.

I had an enema left from my pregnancy and texted Austin to get some Miralax and then settle in to wait for Austin to get home. In the meantime, Asher has brought in some math workbooks we bought at Sam's because he wants to learn math. So we work on those for a bit. Clocks are easier than adding, though he gets frustrated because he writes really big and crayons aren't erasable when he makes a mistake.

I called Mom to update her on everything and she offers to come help with the enema so we're not sitting around waiting for poop all night. I take her up on it.

(More gross ahead)

We got him situated in the living room on some towels with a training potty nearby using some tips given to me by another parent who's been through similar stuff before. Asher was AWESOME and didn't move or flinch or cry at all while we were giving it to him. He laid still for several minutes before starting to say his stomach hurt, so we helped him onto the potty. About ten to fifteen minutes later, we checked and we had success.

Mom headed out, giving instructions on how to do it tomorrow. Before her car left the driveway, Asher threw up. And pooped some more. The living room smelled so great.

He sat on the potty for a while, then Austin got home and took him into the bathroom to clean him up while I made dinner (yeah....I still made dinner after all that).

So our day of gross has (hopefully) ended. Asher is feeling better and in pull-ups for a while, Elijah threw an epic temper tantrum in the middle of it all because it's been a week and we STILL haven't gone to BB and Papa's house, and Eden got to witness everything with a vague sense of "what have I been dumped into?"

Part of me feels bad for yelling and punishing him so much the past few months for his accidents, since we now know that it's not his fault and it was almost all pretty involuntary, but at the same time, we didn't realize that before and I did have a few other things going on. So I'll just move forward with an intention to be more forgiving and less frustrated. At least for a while.

I feel like a margarita is deserved. And a night out away from the pee, poop, throw up, spit up, drool, spit, etc that my children have inflicted on me today. I mean come on.

At least no one bled on me today. Though it's only 8 so who knows what'll happen in the next four hours.

"Let's take a nice picture for the lady." (they wanted a picture for the medical records)

"Like this?"
"Actually, yes. That's a great picture."